Was talking to Zhi Yuan.
He and Stella really love bird.
Going to be two years together already.
Still so sweet together.
So envy.
Asked him for tips.
I am learning.
Then he said my calibre is good.
Flattered~
However,
If it is good,
Why am I still single?
Why am I being cheated always?
Hmmm.
If my calibre is good,
I need not asked for chance already.
Well,
That is IF my calibre is good.
In secondary school,
If you say that,
I have nothing to say.
When come to Poly,
If you say that,
I will rebut.
Well,
Thinking back,
Secondary school,
Wonder what are the guys thinking.
LOL!
Guys falling for Anne?
It is a damn stupid choice.
LOL!
Come to think,
I once receive a present from a guy,
He made a puzzle.
A very big one.
And that made me the talk of the day.
A guy once kept sending me home.
Waiting for my extra things to end.
Help me with class duties.
A guy once keep writting letter and notes to me in class.
I will of course reply him.
We will just pass notes for the whole day.
A guy once always manage to talk to me in private,
With the help of friends.
A guy once kept messaging me day and night.
Even though my phone bill was damn high.
LOL!
A guys once asked me out after Total Defence celebration,
It was Valentine's Day.
I agreed unknowningly.
A guy once kneel down in Mac,
Just to make me accept the flowers.
A guy once feel heart break when I cry.
A guy once feel that Anne needs to be protected.
A guy once got a gift and pass it to me specially at work.
LOL!
They are different person.
And some are talking about the same person.
LOL!
They are really naive.
I mean,
Why fall for a normal girl like Anne?
She is not worth it anyway.
Like what other people say,
I am a bimbo without looks!
LOL!
Seriously,
I don't think I got tiao jian.
LOL!
In poly,
There isn't any guy.
LOL!
See,
I said before,
I don't zap people.
LOL!
Their eyes got stamp,
Or got sand.
So they see wrong.
When the stamp,
Or sand,
Is remove,
They see the real Anne,
Everyone will run!
LOL!
So,
Anne is destine to stay single!
LOL!
Well,
Everyone always say,
Enjoy singlehood.
I hate singlehood.
I hate seeing couples holding hand while I'm alone here.
I hate to spend the night lonelily.
But you will only enjoy singlehood when you are attached.
Currently,
I have no one in mind.
Or maybe one.
Even so,
It is a hopeless one.
So in simple terms,
I have no one in mind.
And,
I want to be loved.
I don't want singlehood.
Once again,
KWAY Company.
Kah Wai and Kenneth are attached.
Anne is at the hopeless area.
Yern is still young.
So eliminate her.
Well,
It is always hard for all 3 of us to be attached.
It is hard for the 3 of us to go on triple date.
It is hard.
Though I want to try so much.
It is hard too.
Well,
How to triple date,
When there is always two couple?
When I am attached,
Usually either Wai or Kenneth is single.
Or better still,
Once,
When I am attached,
Not long after,
The two of them became single.
Idiot!
Am I being curse?
Eeek!
GrrrR!!
Going home soon!
Today is a nice day.
Sunshine~
Well,
What can I say?
I am so clever!!
**blink blink!!**
Ok,
Perfect Anne had save the day!!
I finally killed the bug!!
MUHAHAHA!!
I killed the bug.
I killed the bug.
I killed the bug!!
What happen?
Ever since the first day I step into DSO, 3 March.
I had been reading for one week near 2 weeks.
I had been staring at the initial code until the second week.
Reason being that the previous computer,
Does not have the updated version of Solidworks.
Ok,
Brief outline of my job.
Two program use.
Solidworks (SW) and Visual Basic 6.0 (in short, VB6)
A code written in VB6 used for SW 2006.
Now SW improve to 2008,
The code cannot support.
So I need to find the linkway.
And the bug to kill.
So the previous computer only have SW2006 and not SW2008.
So I change computer on the third week.
I was learning how to use SW on the third week.
On last Tuesday,
I suspect the first bug was software problem.
So I suggested to re-install the programme.
Tada~
Bug 1 solve!!
My supervisor say he stuck for like months,
I say re-install only problem solve.
$%^^&*(@&#*(!
Then proceed to bug 2!
This whole week, I was on MSN and chit chatting.
Obviously,
I wasn't doing work at all.
Look at the number of post I post a day.
And look at the timing.
Practically, I did not research AT ALL!
Today,
I was bored when I came back from lunch.
Had power so I decided to do something about the code.
I just change 2 words.
The miracle 2 words,
Tada~
The whole thing works perfectly!
Anne is a genius programmer!
MUAHAHAHAH!!
In just short 5 minutes,
I solve all the bugs!
I killed them!!
There is this staff called Serena.
She is very nice,
I like her.
She came in just now.
She wanted to use the computer to download something.
She asked me how was my programme.
I told her about it.
She went to tell my supervisor,
"I just now talk to your student.
She very depress and very fan.
She seems to be struggling.."
My idiot supervisor still say,
"its ok.. let her experience awhile.
This is research field."
Idiot!~
Neither did he expect,
I called him when I come back from break.
I called and say,
"Chee Hoon, eh, can you come here awhile?"
He replied,
"Huh?! What happen? Something crop up hur?!"
I said,
"ya! SOMETHING crop up."
So he came over.
And I show him what crop up.
He was very happy! LOL!
When he say to restart the program,
The computer crash.
Perfect!
Then he asked if that happened to me.
I said "No."
The computer obviously don't like him.
LOL!
Finally the bug is killed!
Whee~
Now moving on.
Converting of codes from VB6 to VB 2008.
Should be quite simple.
Website do teaches us how to convert from one version to another.
Pray hard I finish it fast.
Whee!
Oh yes,
Went for lunch with Joseph,
At Science area,
At Megabits.
The food is nice.
And quite cheap.
Large portion.
Worth it!
We went to bazaar at Science area.
Saw Joseph's cousin.
Walk and chit chat.
Someone asked if we wanted free redbull.
I don't drink redbull.
So I rejected.
Joseph did not hear the FREE word,
So he rejected too.
LOL!
The person still ask us to take one and drink.
It gives us energy.
And say,
"You are going to have lectures later right?
Take one can and drink.
It gives you more energy to focus."
LOL!
Going for lecture~
I look like a UNI student!!
Then we went to Central Library.
Went there to walk and see the bazaar.
Saw a stall selling clothes.
Cute tee-shirts.
Mostly couple shirts.
Joseph said,
When SP have bazaar,
He will always see that stall.
The couple clothes are so cute.
He ask me get.
I said I am single,
Get for who?
So I suggest,
When I get a boyfriend,
I'd tell him.
When SP have bazaar and that stall,
He'd tell me.
So I can get.
Perfect idea!
While walking,
I saw this stall
Selling taiwan items.
The normal items from Nv Ren Wo Zui Da.
I was shocked.
I told Joseph.
Then the salesgirl talk to me.
She was saying the items are cheap.
And from taiwan.
And from Nv Ren Wo Zui Da.
As I was looking,
She promoted the Korea bear to me.
She said it is couple bear and,
There is only one each.
She say is a good buy.
For couple.
I burst into laughter when I leave that stall.
So did Joseph.
Joseph and I = couple?!
LOL!
We were laughing hard!
LOL!
Was feeling a little emo over that problem.
Well,
I so want to hold on.
And yet,
I want to give up too.
I don't see any hope.
I am pinning hope.
But I don't see any.
I don't know what to do.
Never mind.
Now that it is Wednesday already,
Time flies.
I love typing code.
Rather than finding bugs,
And research it.
Typing makes time flies.
Like me typing blog.
Time flies!
And soon,
it will be a brand new week again.
I will learn to be strong.
I know I can.
I know you are not reading.
But I know that the outcome is rather negative.
Even so,
I am learning to be strong now.
Yes I can =D
Oh yes.
Update for the stock market.
Still 90-10.
Shucks!
Though can improve.
Grrr!
Its ok!
Anne will face it!
I still have time what.
Thinks so much for what?
Later last minute jump up.
Whoo~
Later last minute close store.
Wa seh!
We'd never know until the very last minute.
So for now.
Stop guessing so much.
No point.
Stock is very unpredicatable.
Initally meeting NP people to take our lunch together.
However due to IS enrolment thing,
Cancelled and push to tomorrow.
So end up,
I meeting Joseph today.
Initally the plan was.
Today go back NP eat,
Tomorrow go eat with joseph.
End up,
Change of plan.
LOL!
Its ok~
Trying our luck to ask Chin Swee too.
Since he is just working nearby.
Well,
I am going for lunch date with Joseph.
LOL!
And maybe Chin Swee.
Tomorrow,
I am going lunch date with Cheng Qian.
Then go NP lunch date with project students.
Whee~
I love having my slots packed!
Firstly;
I won't think so much.
Secondly;
Time fly faster.
Thirdly;
I got people to talk to.
Whee~ So ask me out more often ok~
I realise.
I had been typing one sentence one sentence.
Last time,
I type one paragraph
One paragraph.
Wa seh!
Change penmenship sia!
Pro Pro.
You readers prefer one sentence
one sentence,
OR
Prefer one paragraph
one paragraph?
hahaha! Tag me~
Joseph asked me stop putting so much English songs on my blog.
Well, I have no choice.
I hate finding chinese song lyrics.
And I doubt people will go and read it.
Hello!!
It is chinese!!
I hate chinese.
And I do listen to chinese songs.
However,
I don't really remember their lyrics.
My MP3 is filled with tons of Jolin's song.
And the next on the list is Jay.
Coincidently,
Everytime when I'm listening to Jolin's song,
Either the song before or after is Jay.
Well,
I don't know it is my MP3 problem.
LOL!
I am listening to Jolin's latest album song.
Tao Hua Yuan (aka Ideal State)
The song is so cute!
I love the tempo.
It is very fairy tale kind.
I love listening to this song.
Though it is something about falling in love.
I still love listening to the sweet tempo.
So sweet!
I also love the song,
Ni Kuai Le Ma (Are you happy?)
It is about some couple,
The singer is the friend of the girl.
The girl is very unhappy with the relationship.
However,
She don't want to break up.
Just because she love him.
As a friend,
She cannot ask the girl to leave him
Nobody can do that either.
Because we are not her.
Even if all the guy do is make her unhappy,
As a friend,
We cannot ask her to leave too.
As a friend,
All she can do is listen to what the girl say.
Actually,
Many people love their partner silly-ly.
They are living in the world of promises.
When why are they happy,
The answer is because they love them.
Even if they feel terrible,
Because of love,
They will try to substain.
Well, this is the price of love.
Love is like fireworks.
It will be gone with time.
Well,
You cannot force yourself to leave him too.
Regardless how unhappy you are.
Because you love him.
You need not care about how others look at you.
Regardless how silly you are to them,
All you have to know within is..
Are you happy?
Wa seh! I machiam write down all the lyrics in english.
LOL!
I like the song
Fei Mai Ping (Priceless)
It is about love.
Well,
Most of her songs are about love.
No choice~
But the song is emo.
No choice~
I am a big fan of Jolin.
LOL!
But due to $$ problem.
I stop buying her album.
And due to space problem.
I stop buying too.
No choice~
Poor people living in poor world.
LOL!
Stupid Cupid
You're a real mean guy
I'd like to clip your wings
So you can't fly
I am in love and it's a crying shame
And I know that you're the one to blame
Hey hey
Set me free
Stupid Cupid
Stop picking on me
I can't do my homework
And I can't think straight
I meet him every morning
At 'bout half-past eight
I'm acting like a lovesick fool
You've even got me carrying his books to school
Hey hey
Set me free
Stupid Cupid
Stop picking on me
You messed me up for good
Right from the very start
Hey, go play Robin Hood
With somebody else's heart
You got me jumping like a crazy clown
And I don't feature what your puttin' down
Well since I kissed his loving lips of wine
The thing that bothers me is
That I like it fine
Hey hey
Set me free
Stupid Cupid
Stop picking on me
You got me jumping like a crazy clown
And I don't feature what your puttin' down
Well since I kissed his loving lips of wine
The thing that bothers me is
That I like it fine
Hey hey
Set me free
Stupid Cupid
Stop picking on me
Hey hey
Set me free
Stupid Cupid
Stop picking on me
Stupid Cupid (x 8)Mandy Moore;
Stupid Cupid
I hate cupid too. Stupid cupid! He is really a real mean guy. I am in love and it's a crying shame. I don't want to be in love. Stupid cupid! All your fault. If not for you shooting your arrow like nobody business, all this won't happen!
I can't do my homework And I can't think straight. Obviously that I cannot do so! I am totally not concentrating. I am thinking in many ways. I'm acting like a lovesick fool. Ok, obviously I am lovesick. And obviously I am acting like one.
You messed me up for good. If not for you, Mr. Cupid, all this won't be happening. And if you are really good, then do something about it. You have to shoot arrow at two people to make them attracted to each other. Why just shoot at me when you just shoot 1/1000 of the other arrow to another person?
Eeek! Stupid little cupid! The cause of the biggest trouble in the world, Love. If I really manage to catch you, I am so going to smack your butt.. LOL!
So funny!
Zhi Yuan was talking to me just now.
He asked me if I'm free tomorrow.
I question why.
He said : "I want to date you.. can or not?"
I was like thinking.. Diao~
I told him I having attachment,
In case he didn't realise.
He said "after your attachment lo.."
I was still pondering why he asked me for a date.
So I said : "Why?!?! better answer me!"
I think he was shocked.
He replied : "really.. I just want to date you.."
I told him there is something fishy here.
He said no, it is just a simple date of you and me.
I told him the time my work is off and then,
I still feel fishy.
He have stella and why is he dating anne?
There must be something behind it.
He said : "ok leh. got stella doesnt mean i cant date anne ma..."
LOL..
Then I accept it and then,
He said : "den i date u need flower or not?"
I totally diao~
Then he ask me where should we go for a date?
I told him I'm not sure + he is the one asking me out.
And amazingly,
He said : "hmm...i know! stella's house! TMR IS HER BIRTHDAY! =D"
See, told you there is something fishy!
LOL!
Regardless the case,
Anne got a date.
Ya right~
A date to attend his girlfriend's birthday.
LOL!
What a weird word to use.
Date~
Haha!
Anne wants to go on a date.
Anne wants to go and sit ferris wheel.
Anne wants to go photo taking.
Anne wants to go sentosa.
Anne wants to go to the beach.
Anne wants to go and watch movie.
Anne wants to go shopping.
Anne wants to go to the zoo.
Anne wants to go to my cousin's place.
Anne wants to go commit sucide. (LOL! Eliminate this sentence. HAHA!)
Anne wants to go many place.
Anne wants to go out with someone.
Anne wants to go absorb the moon's aura.
Anne wants to go China to buy bing tang hu lu and come back.
Anne wants to go a place where nobody knows her.
Anne wants to go home.
Anne wants to go clubbing.
Anne wants to go drinking.
Anne wants to go to the future.
Anne wants to go anywhere as long is with someone.
Ok, enough! LOL!
I was reading the newspaper and read that,
Singapore is going to have another Overseas University.
Cus something.
Guess where it is located?
It is just directly opposite my Godma's place.
Which is to the right of my grandma's place.
Which is at Jalan Raja, Balestier road that side.
Which is near Whampoo.
Wow! Finally not at Bukit Timah area. LOL!
Reading through my sms-es.
I found this thing which my cousin says so perfectly true.
"Anne.. I'm sure you want to be with someone who loves you whole heartedly.. If he really loves you, he won't forget about you because of such small problem.. Love is about forgiving de ma.."
Yes!
Anne wants to be loved whole heartedly. Anne wants to be the only best in the person's heart. I want to be love dearly. I am sure that I will only want to be with someone like that. Why would anyone be with someone that don't love her dearly?
Though love is about forgiving, I had been forgiven too much. Well, there is a limit too. We cannot determine if someone loves you dearly just because he forgives you. Sometimes it take a lot to be able to forgive someone.
Yes, I know that there is someone out there waiting for my love. LOL! Someone out there is waiting for reciprocal love~ Someone out there is meant to be mine regardless how much fault I make. Someone out there is loving me regardless how must fault I am. Someone out there is waiting for me.
When will I find that someone? I don't know. Well, there are so many million of people walking pass you everyday and one of them is it. They can be any where. Well, maybe they are just around me. So let's hope and see =D
Someone out there, can you please response?! LOL!
I finally understand.
Regardless how much A, B, C, D, E
I have..
F is forever there.
P.S A is for achievement. B is for Boyfriend. C is for Cash. D is for Depression. E is for Education. F is for Friends!
A is never ending. You need to earn it.
B comes only one at a time or none.
C comes and go as they like.
D comes and haunt on you.
E is everlasting.
F is forever there regardless you see it or not.
Yes!
This is what I got it from my cousin's blog.
Been reading my cousin's blog these few days, and she has been rather emo lately. But the more i read her blog, the more i worry for her! Anne! don't think so much! I may not be free these few days with my internship keeping me away, but two months later when my internship is over, i really hope to see a happy and cheerful anne !
Then I realise,
I am only making everyone worry.
I am not doing any good either.
Others are worried about me.
I was once happy and cheerful.
I was once independent and strong.
I was once bubbly and hopping around.
I was once putting a smile on my face always.
I was once a big sister with my cousins.
I was once bringing joy to others.
I was once decisive.
I was once doing the right things.
I was once following what I've planned.
I was once a very concentrating girl.
I was once a optismistic.
I was once thinking for others.
I was once loving myself.
I was once someone people can turn to.
Now..
I am emo and sad.
I am dependent and weak.
I am sitting and rotting always.
I am putting up a false smile.
I am a problematic girl in front of my cousin.
I am bringing worries to others.
I am indecisive and always thinking a lot.
I am doing the wrong things thanks to thinking so much.
I am not planning what is going on next.
I am totally lossing focus.
I am pessimistic.
I am selfish and only thinking for myself.
I am hating myself for the lousy decisions.
I am someone who is turning to others.
Yes, that is the difference!
I was everything I wanted.
I am everything I don't want.
I want to be everything I wanted again!
This time,
For the better.
Better that the way I was!
This time,
Everyone is worried for me.
I am making lousy thoughts
Causing worries.
Looking at my tagboard.
It is obvious enough that,
EVERYONE is worried.
Yes,
I should not be selfish.
Why make everyone worry for me?
I should not be doing such things!
Where is the bubbly fun anne?
Where have she been?
I am tired of living the dark side.
I want to be fun again.
I want the rain to cry for my joy.
I want the sun to shine with me.
I want to be the person I used to be.
I want to be once again independent and strong.
I want to be able to think wisely.
I want to be able to be the backbone of KWAY Company.
I want to be someone who brings joy.
I want to get crazy and have fun.
Yes! That is what I want to do!
Regardless how I ponder,
The problem is still there.
Why not move on?
Does being emo help in solving it?
No!
So move on!
Like I say.
F are forever there.
Yes, I did not realise it.
In the past,
mine are all just hi and bye.
When this problem arrise,
I realise that they are by me.
They are supporting me.
They are helping me.
Thanks people!
I want to thanks..
Daryl: Though I did not talk to you about the matter, I know that you are very concern about it. I know that in China, you are trying to get more information about how am I doing. I will update you. I know that you are dying to know. LOL! (SPIES, you can send him this. He can't read it in China~ LOL!)
Grace: Don't be so touched your name appear here! LOL! I know that you are really concern and trying to cheer me up at the same time. I know personally that you are in such tangle too. Even so, you are trying to help me through. Well, we'd work hard =D
Han Song: I know I know, you are going to say that you did nothing. However, you really taught me alot and really, you helped me through it. How should I say. Without you, I doubt I'll realise that the world is not revolving around me alone. Without you, I doubt I'll understand so much things.
Joseph: for being emo together with me. LOL! Though it is not encouraging, yet you are feeling the way I am. I am thankful that you kept accompanying me for lunch, home, and to work to help stop me from thinking so much. Million thanks!
Kah Wai: sorry for making you worry. I know that you miss the anne in the past. I know that! Relax, 2 months later when you come back from intern, I am going to tear down your house again =D Be prepared.
Limin: yes, though she do not know what is really going on, she always help my lending her listening ear to me regardless how busy she is. She is still showering her concerns even though she is busy finding her cheque~ min, you should understand =X
Sandi: thanks my dear. Your words really did enlighten me. Yes, I know that God sent an angel like you down to help others. And really, I am helped by His words. Thanks!
Subha: I know you want to smack me! But I will want to thank you so much for being a good listener over MSN. Thanks for encouragement always. Thanks for giving me a push. I know what you want to smack me and yes, I really deserve a smack! =D
Wan Sin: Darling~ touched that your name is here? LOL! Yes, she is there and I know that though she is so busy with her schedule, she is still there trying to find sometime to talk to me. She always try to cheer me up. She will pop up with some out of the mind things and say. LOL!
Wei Hao: Though you did not say much except for a take care, at least I know that you are concern too. You are sparing PART of your worry for me. LOL! Thanks!
Thanks everyone! Thanks those whose name is not up there too. Maybe I am too tired. However, you are not forgotten. Remember that! I love all of you! **huggies**
Please do not be jealous if your name does not appear here. Anne loves you too. **huggies**
I love those who I hated too. If not for them once causing such impact, I won't hate them. Thus, I will say that they helped transform me into a stronger girl. Without them being sarcastic and scolding me, I think I am still the weak and useless anne who is alway being pampered.
Thanks everyone!
LOVE!
I cannot believe.
I myself is so depress and yet,
I can encourage people!!
This is what Grace blog.
for you.
grace trusts that you're sensible enough to know what you're doing,
and trusts that you'll be happy with your decision.
it was, unfortunately, a short journey,
but only beautiful memories.
thank you for always being there.
take care and stay happy.
goodbye. =[
the last promise,
unfulilled.
p/s you'll never be forgotten; bear that in mind.
honestly, i hate you for leaving like that.
And this is what I told her at her tag board.
be grateful that the person leave like that..
life moves on and on..
never ending..
regardless what decision u make,
there is sure consequence..
there is both happy and sad part..
now that u r unhappy,
u'll nvr know what is happening in future..
human are selfish..
they will only think of them wanting happiness now
and not the consequence later..
u'd come up with that decision shows that
u did think before and nt impulse..
yes,
be glad that at least there are beautiful memories..
though it is short,
having once is enough..
think about others who dont even have one before..
grace,
u are already very sensible le..
at least u got an idea of what u wanted..
unlike mine leaving dangling there..
decision unmade..
but even still,
i dono what my outcome decision is,
i m still happy that i had dis beautiful memories before..
though it did not last,
i am glad that it happened..
Like the song..
"Someday we'll know, Why I wasn't meant for you.."
happiness comes in many way..
maybe God thinks that this is the better way to happiness?
well,
u'd never know what is planned behind.
so yes,
stay happy!
Seriously,
I wonder if I am telling it to her or to myself.
Happiness comes in many way.
Yes,
that sentence is so true!
Well,
God have our path planned.
He let us experience ups and downs.
He is trying to train us up.
You cannot always expect ups.
In time of trouble,
You will fall terribly.
He cannot let us experience all downs.
If that,
Life is meaningless.
Now,
I am experiencing a up and down in my life.
The up thing is that I'm given a chance.
The down thing is that the chance is hurting.
So yes,
I am learning to be strong from the down.
And at the same time,
Using the up to substain hope.
With that,
Life can move on.
With that,
Hope never dies.
With that,
Anything is possible.
I've once made a choice.
And I regreted my choice.
Even so,
There is no turning back.
I've lost the chance of making another.
Now,
I only can wait for other's choice.
I've to learn.
I cannot expect others to follow my mood swing always.
Others have feelings too.
They do feel too.
They are human too.
They have a choice too.
And now,
The choice is not up to me anymore.
Because I lost it already.
So yes,
Listen up,
Follow what is planned.
If that is the best way out,
Accept it.
Because your choice is being accepted before.
Regardless you like that choice or not.
No point hoping to turn back time.
Things like that only happen in drama.
Not in the real world.
If you regreted that choice.
Please remember.
And learn..
Always think carefully before making the choice.
Once gone is forever gone.
Maybe because,
I've never been rejected by that choice.
I was rather pampered.
When I say out,
Others will never agree to it.
Thus pampering me.
To keep back my choice.
For once,
I was being rejected.
Not being pampered.
Finally I understand.
How they feel.
When I make that choice.
I finally understand.
I finally understand what it means by cannot get back the same.
I totally understand now.
I understand how the feeling is like.
Now,
I will learn.
Treasure what you have.
Do not make such choices if it is not meant to be.
Given another chance,
I won't make that mistake anymore..
End of my speech =D
Totally sweet!
17 posts in a day!
Including this, 18 posts a day!
Anne, terrific!
You are so pro!
I cannot believe I posted so many a day.
And it is not pictures but WORDS!!
I am so proud of you, Anne!!
I was looking at my wishlist. This is what I came to my mind.
In order to get a PSP, Mouse, Handphone, Laptop, Crumpler bag, Jacket, Top, Wallet, Shoes, all I need is MONEY!!
In order to get MONEY, I need a job.
In order to go clubbing, I need to learn how to drink.
So in order to satisfy all, there is only one GREAT job which can do so.
And that is..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Being a prostitute.
(ok, I am going to get so much scolding!)
Well, if you go club and suay suay your drink gets spike.
No need worry about being rape for a prostitute need not worry about it.
If you are a prostitute, people pays a lot just to be sexually involve with you. Example is the governor who is involve in prostitute case. Just that alone, he spent a total of few US$10,000. If I am lucky, I might get one too.
With that, I can get my PSP, Mouse, Handphone, Laptop, Crumpler bag, Jacket, Top, Wallet, Shoes. Well, if that is the case, I can get whatever I want.
So that is a good job scope isn't it? Well, I admit I don't have figure, but who cares when all that those dirty guys want is sex? So it is easy cash too.
Another way is to be another Annabel Chong. The World Biggest Gang Bang! LOL! Break her record of 251 sex in 10 hours. Wa seh! Like that I can become richer if I film a movie. Whee! Some more it become the top in the porn world! I'd be damn rich!
Ok, I shall stop this disgusting thing. I am thinking of my future job scope! These are 2 choices which I can consider too right?
Anne is over stress and thinking too much. She needs to talk to someone.
That must be what you people are thinking. However, that is not true. I am perfectly fine and yes, I am thinking well. That are some choices which I can make. I can become rich then and get whatever I want. Isn't that a better choice?
Besides, I'm perfectly single, so it makes no difference right? I mean without commitment. Even if in the end, someone wants to take me in, all I can say is, if the person love me dearly, he will accept me the way I am. Even if I am a whore, he really love me, he can accept me.
**Ok, I think Anne is really too stress up already. She is under a lot of stress. She seriously need to talk to a psychiatrist. Her mind isn't right.**
I am ok! Relax! I am saying only. I won't ruin my life for it. I will take good care of my own life. I will treasure my own life. So relax. I am still in my right mind.
Please don't be shock over this post. Thanks! This is just how I feel..
I'm so scared always.
Everytime I open and see that I have a email.
I feel so stress opening up my hotmail and see who is it for.
Stress!
When will I not feel it this way?
Was reading through chat log just now.
So much memory came to my mind.
Well,
If I had known it earlier.
The kid which used to be.
The camera whole night session.
It was all memorable.
Always laughing over something stupid.
Every action brings about a praise.
Every minute is a sweet sweet time.
If I had known it earlier.
If I had stop being unreasonable.
If I had stop being demanding
If I had stop being a thinker.
Things will turn out way better.
If all this had happen,
I won't be here complaining.
I do not know what I'm thinking.
I am hoping it will turn out well.
Yet at the same time,
I feel more of the negative.
How can I surpress this feeling?
How I wish I had Selective Memory Loss.
Even better if I had Lacunar Amnesia.
Like that I can forget about everything that happened.
For Selective Memory Loss,
I can forget about all the pain and the happy moment.
All I can remember is that I have a friend like you.
Simple.
If I have Lacunar Amnesia,
Better still.
Totally loss of memory on you.
I can choose a particular person and eliminate totally from my mind.
I'm sorry but I chose you.
I hope that I can totally forget about it.
For at least,
neither will feel terrible.
You can forget about having to think about this matter too.
If I had either of which,
I will be happier now.
If I had either of which,
I won't be pondering what is the outcome.
If I had either..
How I wish lightning strike and a tree fall on me.
How I wish when using computer, the computer explode in front of me.
How I wish the bus hijack and I was the only hostage.
How I wish I roll down the stairs and knock everywhere.
How I wish I sit the farris wheel alone in the cabine and it drop from the highest point.
How I wish I sit the DHL hot air balloon and the string snap and fall from top.
How I wish the bamboo pole drop from 25 storey and hit my head.
How I wish I am drinking concentrated dissolve sleeping pill water.
How I wish my phone explode when I'm talking over the phone.
How I wish the car hit onto a pedestrain and the pedestrain is me.
How I wish the fan falls on my head.
How I wish fire drill and I did not manage to run out.
How I wish I was drown while bathing.
How I wish I sleep and never wakes up.
How I wish...
I was reading up on Selective Memory Loss (SML). I came accross this article. It is so cool can! The illness is called Lacunar Amnesia another name for Episodic Amnesia. I want to get this illness.
Scientists believe memories are captured and stored by two separate parts of the brain, the hippocampus, the normal seat of memory, and the amygdala, one of the brain's emotional centers.
People incapable of forming long-term memories thanks to hippocampus damage can still form subconscious memories of traumatic events if their amygdala is intact. That means, if both the hippocampus and amygdala is damage, there will be a total loss in memory in that particular event.
Some scientists now believe that memories effectively get rewritten every time they're activated.
Studies on rats suggest that if you block a crucial chemical process during the execution of a learned behavior - pushing a lever to get food, for instance - the learned behavior disappears. The rat stops remembering.
Theoretically, if you could block that chemical reaction in a human brain while triggering a specific memory, you could make a targeted erasure. Think of a dreadful fight with your girlfriend while blocking that chemical reaction, and zap! The memory's gone.
I seriously want this thing. It is an illness which allows you to forget about one particular person totally. I want this to happen. Where can I find this scientist? I want to forget about someone.
Like that, I need not use a bottle to hit my head. All I have is to swallow chemical. LOL! =D
I offer to be an experiment. I don't mind. Even if I end up dying, at least I did the science field proud! =D If success, I can forget what I want to forget. If someone makes me very sad, ZAP and then forget already. Wa seh!
I want to get this illness!! PLEASE!! I am going to hunt the scientist down.
I was emo-ing on the bus just now.
My thoughts got further and further.
And then, unknowningly,
I cried again!
Idiot!
When will I stop crying?
Shucks!
Then when I look out of the window,
Rain came!
Made me more emo!
Idiot~
Why can't it be sunshine when I'm emo?
Grrr!
Tried to think for the better.
Tried to think if I'd see some people to talk.
Tried to look around for familiar faces.
Shucks!
Why aren't any?!
#$%^&*^%$#@$%
Never mind.
Mood got a LITTLE better when spamming Shalala Lala on the bus.
Then my phone rang.
Oh Gosh!
I don't know what to say.
Starting was one day.
Then became two days.
Then became four days.
Piang eh!
Machiam totally no days left.
What can I do?
People have their plan this way.
All I can do is follow.
Well, when was two days,
I expected the fact that totally no days.
Then...
Four days.
Though I expected it,
Still feel very sad.
Machiam my heart kanna squeeze like sponge.
Cried rather hard.
What to do?
Follow la!
People no intention then what can you do?
By force?
Crazy la!
Well,
No choice means no choice.
Seems hopeless.
Pulling down my hopes.
Xiong Duo Ji Shao!
No choice.
Since the plan is like that,
Follow ba!
Who am I to force too?
Like I said,
TEMP/ACTING have no obligation.
People tell TEMP already very good.
Don't expect too much.
People are busy too.
Moreover, do you think a TEMP is PERM?
No obviously.
So..
Face the fact.
Mian qiang shi mei you xing fu de!
I've learnt that.
Now..
Let it go naturally.
Sooner or later.
We'd know the answer.
Though I roughly know the answer now.
Trying to do something about myself.
How I wish I can knock my head!
Grace, use wine bottle to hit my head please!!
Please hit the back of my head.
Hit it hard!
Like that,
Back head more fragile.
If you do not know what is Selective Memory Loss, definition as followed.
A form of amnesia, selective memory loss is a rare side effect of head injuries when the victim loses certain parts of his/her memory. Not much is known because this only results when certain areas of the head are traumatized. Common elements that may be forgotten: relationships, special talents (eg: juggling, whistling, instrumental talents, etc.), living area, abilities in certain areas (eg: a new gymnast forgetting she can not cartwheel yet), and events such as concerts, shows, traumatic events (eg: a death/suicide of a loved one or attempt on ones own life). More research is being done into elements that are forgotten and what areas of the skull must be traumatized to cause SML.
Yes,
So..
Grace, I'd research on which area to hit.
You'd do the hitting.
Ok,
If you don't dare,
Lend me the bottle.
I'd hit myself.
ARgh!!
I don't know what is going on now.
Seriously!
Want to enjoy but..
Difficult too.
Shucks~
So nice~ It really brighten up my day. Not alot but yes, it sitll brighten it rather than emo-ing whole day.
There's a boy in my mind and he knows I'm thinkin' of him
All my way to the day and the night the stars shine above me.
He's been gone for some time but I know I truly love him.
And I'm singing a song, hoping he'll be back when he hears it.
[Chorus]
My heart goes shalala lala, shalala in the morning.
Oh oh oh shalala lala, shalala in the sunshine.
Shalala lala, shalala lala in the evening.
Shalala lala shalala lala just for you.
If your love's gone away just like mine you feel like crying.
Sing along maybe once maybe twice, let's try it together.
Some sweet day no one knows he'll return and you'll be happy.
Shout it sweet in a song, listen to your heart it is singin'
[Chorus]
My heart goes shalala lala, shalala in the morning.
Oh oh oh shalala lala, shalala in the sunshine.
Shalala lala, shalala lala in the evening.
Shalala lala shalala lala just for you.
If your love's gone away just like mine you feel like crying.
Sing along maybe once maybe twice, let's try it together.
Some sweet day no one knows he'll return and you'll be happy.
Shout it sweet in a song, listen to your heart it is singin'
[Chorus]
My heart goes shalala lala, shalala in the morning.
Oh oh oh shalala lala, shalala in the sunshine.
Shalala lala, shalala lala in the evening.
Shalala lala shalala lala just for you.Vengaboys;
Shalala Lala
Whee~ Shalala Lala~ It is so true.
"There's a boy in my mind and he knows I'm thinkin' of him" =D Well, I do not know if he thinks of me but he knows I thinking of him is enough. For at least that means he is sensing it =D
"He's been gone for some time but I know I truly love him." He had not been gone for some time but I know I truly love him. Well, must it be that he is gone so you will know you truly love him? No right?~
"And I'm singing a song, hoping he'll be back when he hears it." Well, that is provided he wants to hear it. I don't mind singing it to him. =D
"If your love's gone away just like mine you feel like crying." I really feel like crying! I guess nobody will understand the way it was gone but yes, gone is gone. So sure will feel like crying isn't it?
"Sing along maybe once maybe twice, let's try it together." Let's all sing together! Regardless your love is gone or not!! Let's sing! It is rather hip that my niece can even sing it!
"Some sweet day no one knows he'll return and you'll be happy." If that really happen, I'd be extremely happy! Well, I guess many people will be happy. Like a friend of mine who still love her ex dearly. If he return, she will be so happy too!
"Shout it sweet in a song, listen to your heart it is singin'" If he really comes back, I can really hear my heart singing it sweetly~~ Shalala Lala~
I sound like I am so confident in him coming back! LOL! If I don't have confidence in myself, then I won't be the Anne that everyone knows =D If I don't have confidence, how can I have confidence in what is happening?
Ok, sound like everyone knows what is happening to Anne. LOL! I don't want everyone to know but seems like, I cannot hide already. So hope I can really Shout it LOUD! =D Ok, the problem is yet to be solve and yet, Anne is so happy here. Please do not be mislead by Anne's mood swing.
That is one of the symptom to depression. Sudden change in mood, suddenly feel helpless and hopeless. I was feeling that just now and now, I don't remember why I feel so.
Oh no, I am really going to get depression!!
dont be stress;
i try;
hope u too;
hope the little chance can become big;
pls help urself too;
that is all i hope for;
Number 12 Post
Well, I went for lunch just now.
I was talking to Joseph over the phone.
Just as I was feeling very lost and depress..
The dark clouds take over the sky.
Then water droplet drop down from the sky,
Just like water droplet roll down my cheeks.
I realise.
Yesterday in the morning,
When I was feeling well,
But unsure and nervous,
The sky was shinning bright,
Bringing sunshine to me.
After talking over the phone,
I felt more and more depress.
The dark clouds got over the sky.
I started to tear like the rain.
Then,
Tears were overflowing,
Like the sky is raining.
At the bus stop,
When I saw Ivan,
Yes, the guy who I like in primary school for so long
And when he ask me to be his girlfriend,
I rejected him.
Yes, that is the Ivan I am talking about.
I saw Ivan and we chatted.
Indeed it does cheer me up a little.
The rain stop too.
Everything turn out fine~
Today,
In the morning,
I was feeling rather glad.
Well,
Though it did not turn out well,
I was happy that I wasn't dreaming.
The sun was shinning bright.
Just like my mood.
Then, I was talking to my friend.
I felt very depress.
Dark clouds slowly take over the sky.
While talking to Joseph,
Tears roll down like water droplet fall from the sky.
It is exactly the way I am feeling!
I saw Chin Swee and went to get some food.
As I was eating,
I saw the cheerful birds cheeping.
I suddenly feel that,
The world is filled with hope.
(I know, it sounds drama)
Well,
There are people out there suffering too.
Mine is not much worst.
However, mine can be settled by time.
I cannot force time to move fast.
I only can follow for Time always move at constant speed.
Regardless how I complain that time is flying slowly,
It will never motivate TIME to move fast.
So why be depress?
Giving the same amount of time,
Regardless how I feel,
I can never change the outcome.
Since that is the case,
Happy also pass like that,
Sad also pass like that,
Why not enjoy it?
Think on the bright side.
Even if it turn out to be a failure,
At least I really enjoyed this period of time.
I don't want to turn out regreting that I did not spend it well.
So hold on to the time I have and yes.
What lost is lost.
I cannot force love to turn back.
Like stock market,
There is up and downs.
Now that it is dropping,
I will of course hope that it will jump up one day.
And on the day of the highest,
I'll sell away all.
Now that it is the lowest, I'd buy as must lot as possible.
Like that I can help pull up the stock too.
Yes, I do not know how much I can buy.
But if I try, it will be ok.
When it reaches the highest,
I shall sell all my lot and maintain at the reasonable amount.
When it drop again, I will top up again.
At this rate,
I can help the market too.
Isn't Love this way?
There are up and downs.
At times,
You need to give so much that you can substain?
At times,
You need to take some so that it can substain yourself too?
Love is giving and taking.
I do not know how much I can give and how much I can take.
I do not know if I can give anymore and I can take from it anymore.
But now that it is so low that I cannot do anything.
I dump in the amount I can already.
Now,
I must wait for it to jump up.
And when it jump up,
Things will be fine.
If the stock continue to drop,
Until the market decided to close it,
There is nothing I can do.
I've done my best in helping the stock pull up.
So yes!
Anne, pray that the stock will jump up again!
That is all I can say!
I cannot believe it!
From morning about 9.00am to now,
I blog a total of 10 times (exclude this post)
Anne, this is really the first time you blog so much!!
In short 4 hours, 10 post!! WHEEE~
Symptoms of Depression
Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness
Occasionally, I will feel helpless and hopeless all of a sudden. Everything looks so dark and dull to me.
Loss of interest in dailly activities
I totally lost interest in my daily activities which are studying and working =X Well, who does not lost interest in these?
Appetite or weight changes
This I must admit. I really lost weigh already. From the Anne last time with Daryl, I was so fat and chubby. I eat a lot too. Now, I am still fat and chubby but not as chubby already. And I eat very little and sometimes, I don't even feel like eating.
Sleep changes
Well, I had been not able to sleep lately. Before all this happen, I was seriously over sleeping. I was already feeling rather depress and sad. However, it was not mention on blog. I can sleep so much a day and yet, I still feel tired.
Loss of energy
Even going home and standing on the bus is a tiring thing to do.
Self-loathing
I do feel very worthless. I always feel worthless to everyone. I feel like nothing in the world. I feel so insignificant.
Concentration problems
This is totally true. At the start of the job, I was able to concentrate so well. Ever since the second week of attachment, Things got drifted, I lost concentration already.
Irritability
I was irritated by Jermaine that time for something so simple. I was irritated by my parents for a simple mistake. I was easily irritated.
Aches and pains
Yes! I had been suffering from headaches, backaches and now, my lower tight muscle seems to be aching too. I do not know why.
Above are all the Signs and Symptoms of Depression and yes, I've listed why I realise that I am suffering from one. Oh no! Anne is going to get depression soon!! OH NO!!!!
Yecks!!
Like I expected.
90-10.
I think soon it will become 100-0.
I think very soon!
Yesterday is 50-50.
Today is 90-10.
Wa seh!
At this rate, I think tomorrow is..
..
..
..
..
130 - (-30).
Wa kao!
Like that I think by tomorrow morning.
I'm jobless!
ARgh!!
Surpress surpress surpress!!
But I expected it also.
I see it coming.
From the way everything go.
No need 3 days.
But at least..
I also have small chance initally!!
I should be very happy already.
Well, maybe last time,
People have BIG chance,
But problem still there.
At least now,
I have SMALL chance.
At least better than nothing.
Be grateful!!
90-10.
Machiam like stock market!
Misleading too.
Don't seem like but my 6th sense tell me it dropped.
Treatment is misleading!
I don't know what is what already!
Grrrr!!!!
It is like a kind of torture.
50-50
I already so fan can!
Now,
90-10.
Largi worst!
Can I just bang my head on the wall?
Thus fall into deep sleep?
And then lost memories?
You know those kind of selective memory lost situation?
Yes, I want that to happen.
I want to delete it so
Now everyone will not be so xin ku!
At least if I deleted that part,
People need not try 'cause of what I said.
Then, everyone will not be pulled into such situation.
Why didn't I bang my head that time?!
Like that I can fall into deep sleep and rest so well!
I want to bang my head badly!!
Bang already, best is selective memory lost.
If better, I can become cleverer.
MUAHAHA!
I don't want to kill myself.
People will cry for me.
People will feel guilty for causing it.
I am very nice.
I rather not people feel guilt + sad!
I rather not let white hair people send black hair people.
And please, who else attempt to commit sucide?
I also got follow trend one ok!
Committing sucide is a bad move.
I am clever enough to think of selective memory lost.
Well, at least people won't feel sad.
Some people will be even happier that all this happen.
Some people will be happy that I'd forget their debts.
LOL!
Hai~
Acting is in life!
Everyone needs to act somewhat or another.
Doesn't acting makes the actor tired?
Doesn't acting makes the actor lost himself too?
Seriously!
Acting is very tiring.
I've acted before.
I know what it is like to act.
If acting will solve the problem,
Then I won't be here already.
If acting can change the figure,
Won't it be some kind of cheating?
I mean you act as if you totally into,
But in the end, if the figure does not change,
Won't it be more hurting to tell the person,
Sorry, I've been acting all this while.
Isn't it cheating too?
I am not sure.
Well, maybe the person is happy even though got cheated.
Regardless the case,
Acting will not last long.
One day the actor will get tired
And expose everything out.
Like that, both actor and audience will be very sad.
ROAR!!!
SCREAM!!
SHOUT!!!
GRRRR!!!
I want to shout everything out!! But I think people will think I crazy. I shall surpress it!
Sooner or later, I'd get depression!!!
Where are they when I need them?!?!
Joseph, I most probably getting small a, no b, average c and ALOT OF D!!!
Idiot!
Why must you do all that?
What are you trying to do, Anne?
Well, know the answer still purposely go and ask.
People say already ownself not happy.
What is with this?
It is you yourself make yourself unhappy.
You hoping for what?
Miracle is it?
You think miracle comes and go as you want is it?
Stop being idiot can!
You think very fun hur?
People already make things clear.
You still go and ask and torture yourself.
What is the point of doing that?
Stop making yourself look desperate can?
People don't give a damn about you at all.
You are only pissing people off.
So get lost seriously!
Stop making people pissed off and irritated.
When people get pissed off and irritated,
The person who is sad is no other but yourself.
So stop whatever you are doing now before it is too late.
Think wisely can!
You think this opportunity very easy to earn?
Now you got an opportunity,
Hold on to it and not force it to run away.
Don't do something which will regret again!
Well, this opportunity is given and there is nothing you can do!
People give you, and you cannot do anything.
Perfect!!
All you stop doing wrong things!
Stop saying wrong words!
Control Control Control.
This is just an TEMP/ACTING one.
It is not real.
People have no obligation to do whatever for you.
People have no obligation to listen to you.
People have no obligation to do what you are thinking.
So Anne, FACE THE FACT!!
Stop hoping other people will do whatever for you.
Stop hoping other people will listen to you.
Stop hoping other people will do like what you think.
People say most probably not free.
You think still like last time hur?
People will still rush here and there.
Who do you think you are?
Now is different.
Now is TEMP/ACTING only.
Last time is PERM/ACTUAL!
Next time is either PERM/ ACTUAL or RETRENCH!
Later suay suay RETRENCH,
Treat the TEMP/ACTING so nice for what?
Stop thinking too highly of yourself!
You bitch!
People willing to treat a TEMP/ACTING that nice already very good ok.
Stop asking so much!
Later people really RETRENCH then you know!
So please be grateful of what you have now, TEMP!
People never ask you get lost already very happy le.
Yao Qiu Duo Duo!
Lock up your phone bitch!
Stop irritating other people!
You this idiot TEMP!
You are really stupid and idiot!
Bimbo without looks!
Stupid + look-less TEMP!
Grrrrr!
Mama no make bread today;
Need to go lunch;
Want to look for lunch partner;
Look for who?
Don't know who;
Don't dare ask;
EEEKKKK!!
For once,
I feel so idiot!
I feel so useless!!
Like that also don't dare ask!!
Scared kanna reject,
Very malu!!
What to do?
Wait to be asked lo!
Love is like the wind.
You can't see it but you can feel it.A walk to remember;
This few days keep raining, the wind blow so big! So do you feel any love in the air? LOL!
SHiT!
I don't even dare to talk!!
So scared kanna pissed off!!
So scared kanna irritated!!
Anne, don't go too far!!
Don't pull too tight!
Let it go!!
Relax!!
It is very hard ok!
Like those temp staff..
Work cannot get too committed to..
Don't get committed also very difficult!
Shucks!!
Later the temp staff kanna sack,
Got gan qing liao
Will sad.
But distant it also very difficult + sian!!
ARGH!!!!!
if u r reading this;
Just check my email.
receive a lot of junk spam mail.
Well, there is about 20 junk mail.
And all 20 mails are telling me that
I won a price of few million US/AUS/Pound dollar.
How I wish it is true and I'd be little miss rich =X
Dreaming~
Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday to You ooooo~
Happy Birthday to You!Unknown;Happy Birthday to You
Today is my beloved brother, Wong Heng Teck Andrew, birthday! He is twenty this year. So fast! A 2 at the front already. Soon it will become my turn to change from a 1 to 2. Argh!!
Mandy:
Ninety Miles outside Chicago
Can't stop driving
I don't know why
So many questions
I Need an answer
Two years later
he's still on my mind
Jonathan:
Whatever happened to Amelia Earhart?
Who holds the stars up in the sky?
Is true love once in a lifetime?
Both:
Did the captain of the Titanic cry?
(Ohh)
(Chorus)
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain...
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue...
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you...
Mandy: Does anybody know the way to Atlantis?
Jonathan: Or what the wind says when she cries?
Mandy: I'm speeding by the place that I met you
Both: For the 97th time... Tonight
(Chorus)
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain...
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue...
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you...
(yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Both: Someday we'll know
Jonathan: Why Samson loved Delilah...
Both: One day I'll go
Mandy: Dancing on the moon...
Both: Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you...
Mandy: I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow,
Jonathan: I watched the stars crash in the sea,
Mandy: If I could ask God just one question...
Both: Why aren't you here with me?...Tonight
(Chorus)
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain...
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue...
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you...
(yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Someday we'll know
Why Samson loved Delilah...
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon...
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you...Mandy Moore & Jonathan Foreman;
Someday We'll Know
Someday we will know about what is happening. Someday, we will finally know it. So why trouble yourself of thinking what went wrong now when we'll know it someday?
"Is true love once in a lifetime?"
Well, if it is, once missed it and yes, there goes your true love. I remember once I read a book, knowing that it is just a myth, I still believes it. It says that when men were created, they found that they were lonely, thus they extract a nerve from the men and plant it into a women. When the missing nerve is found, the man and woman shall live happily ever after for the woman holds part of his life.
I know it sounds ridiculous but I still believe that there is a man out there which is meant to be mine. One day, I will be able to find this guy. =D
Subha's tag : won't be a disappointment. believe =)
This sentence bring me to think about a song. A rather old song and yet, it is well known. The lyrics are as followed.
Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understood
Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains long
Before we knew we could
There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe
In this time of fear
When prayers so often prove in vain
Hope seems like the summer birds
To swiftly flown away
Yet now I'm standing here
My heart's so full I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say
There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe
They don't always happen when you ask
(Oh)
And it's easy to give in to your fears
(Oh...Ohhhh)
But when you're blinded by your pain
Can't see your way straight throught the rain
Small but still, resilient voice
Says love is the relief
(Ohhh)
There can be miracles
(Miracles)
When you believe
(Lord, when you believe)
Though hope is frail
(Though hope is frail)
It's hard to kill
(Hard to kill, Ohhh)
Who know what miracles,you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
(somehow,somehow, somehow)
somehow you will
You will when you believe
You will when you
You will when you believe
Just believe...in your heart
Just believe
You will when you believeeeeeeeeeeeMariah Carey;When You Believe
Isn't it so true? I love this sentence "Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill". It holds a lot of meaning behind it. So now I am pinning hope, though it is frail, it is so strong at the same time that it is hard to kill.
So regardless what, hold on to your hope for miracle may come in many ways. It may not be the best outcome or the way you wanted, when you think back, actually it is all planned. That is what it is call miracle..
PEOPLE, please stop being a SPY!!
I am not angry but PLEASE, don't be a SPY and then copy whatever I write on my post and send it to other people. PLEASE UNDERSTAND!!
There are somethings which I do not wish non-reader to know. I want to keep it rather within my blog too. So, STOP BEING A SPY!
Thanks!
Well, giving it a try. Hope things will turn out fine. I hope after 1 week, it can really happen the way I wanted. I really hope. Well, there is nothing I can do for now besides hoping.
Things might be different but it is ok, it is just something stranger to you right? So in a way, it is like trying out brand new things?
The stress factor is there. That I really do not know what to do. Well, you said that there is nothing I can do either.
Xin ku! That is the biggest matter. I do not know how to eliminate that. Well, I just hope it will go away. **go away go away go away!**
Probation of one week. One week later, if the irritating fellow is still there, all I can do is ting tian you ming (accept to what fate had decide).
ELSE, I will start to work hard already. Arh~
Jia you!!
PRAY PRAY PRAY!!!
There will be disappointment if there is hope, but without hope, how do life go on?
I hope it won't turn out to be a disappointment. **pls pls pls!!**
Baby want you tell me why
there is sadness in your eyes
I don't wanna say goodbye to you
Love is one big illusion
I should try to forget
But there is something left in my head
You're the one who set it up
Now you're the one to make it stop
I'm the one who's feeling lost right now
Now you want me to forget every little thing you said
But there is something left in my head
* CHORUS :
I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feelings so strong were lasting for so long
But I'm not the man your heart is missing
That's why you go away
I know You were never satisfied
no matter how I tried
Now you wanna say goodbye to me
Love is one big illusion
I should try to forget
But there is something left in my head
* CHORUS :
I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feelings so strong were lasting for so long
But I'm not the man your heart is missing
That's why you go away
Sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhere
Don't know which way to go
There is so much to say now between us
There ain't so much for you
There ain't so much for me anymore
* CHORUS :
I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feelings so strong were lasting for so long
But I'm not the man your heart is missing
That's why you go away
Nice song to delicate to me.
“当一段感情来到终结的时候，什么样子的理由都可以变成分手的理由。但那理由永远不是爱！” When a relationship comes to an end, you can think up of whatever reason but the reason will never be due to love.
Yesterday night, I had a very long talk with my cousin. She was talking things through me. I seriously needed someone to talk to. I am feeling terrible. I needed a spot to pour everything into. I needed place.
My cousin read my blog and came talking to me. I thought that she is busy dating and falling in love. Well, she have her own problems too, I thought it would be nice if I don't disturb her. Neither did I expect, she called last night.
Joseph called to. However, I was not in the mood to tell the story again. I wasn't in the mood to let things out yet. All I could find is my cousin. Yes, my cousin and I are very close. She always advise me on what to do and best of all, she understand me perfectly and know what choice I will make.When I think of all my sorrow
When I had you there but the I let you go
Can't Live If Living Is Without You
It is just like what is happening. All I had was sorrow. When someone is there, I took for granted and let things go far and out of hand. And I let you go but now that you are gone, all I had was sorrow.Would you say that you’ll always be there,
to kiss my pain away?
Would You be ThereSo I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t
Untitled
What I have done, I cannot erase it. If I want to do something about it, I have to either pay the price or let it go. I have been through a lot of consideration and yes, I have came up with my choice. I choose to pay. I cause the pain, I was blind to do so and now, I can't escape either.Love takes time
To heal when you're hurting so much
Couldnt see that
I was blind
To let you go
I cant escape the pain
Inside
Love takes time
I dont wanna be here alone
Love Takes Time
Now that I told her my choice, she did warn me too. It is very dangerous and the price is very high. Neither of us know how long I need to pay the price, how heavy the price is, but I am willing to try and pay it. It may take one week, one month, one year, 10 years or even a lifetime.
I do not know how long I can hold on. I really do not know. I do not know what the future holds now, but I know what I wanted now. I am not sure how much I need to do to get things into place. However, I know with that basic foundation, I have faith in making things go back to path.
My cousin said that she find me very courages when I say I am willing to pay for the consequence I made. I did not know what made me feel so too. I do not know if I am stupid or I am brave. All I know is to follow what my heart tells me to do now."Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit."
I did my part. I already said what I wanted to say. All I hope for is a turn back of time so I will not do something that I will regret. Now that I did something regretful, I felt so bu gan xin. I don't believe that it is so hard to turn back. Why can't each give a chance and try out?
I have two choices. One is to do the dangerous choice and it will reach to another 50-50 thing. Yes, at least I tried and I do not regret trying. The other choice is to give up and yes, walk away and hibernate. However, I bu gan xin! I know that there is still maybe 0.00000001% of hope and I totally give up. Why not try for the 0.00000001% of hope?"Whoso loves, believes the impossible."
Well, the 0.00000001% of hope might turn out positive but I may have to pay more than 10^infinity %. I will try! I believe the impossible because I believe there is love. I want to try, but it takes two hand to clap too. It will depend on whether there is the willingness to take up and work hard together. If it is one sided, I think surely will fall."People so seldom say I love you
And then it's either too late or love goes.
So when I tell you I love you,
It doesn't mean I know you'll never go,
Only that I wish you didn't have to."
I know choices made are made. I know it was deeply hurt. I know that determination is the character involve. I know that it takes alot of determination to stick with this choice. I know that will happen one day but i don't wish it had happen.
I am really scared I cannot hold on. I am really scared. I am really scared I cannot help walk out of the shadows. I am really scared I cannot do a good job. I am really scared I will break down. I am really scared.I wish I could save these moments
And put em in a jar
I wish I could stop the world from turning
Keep things just the way they are
I wish I could shelter you from everything
Not pure and sweet and good
I know I cant, I know I cant
But I wish I could
I Wish I Could
I wish that things will turn out well. i wish that there is hope and it will all become true. I know I can't do anymore because I did something wrong. I wish the time could turn back. I wish I can make the table turn around. I wish that the world turns back in time. I wish they get back to the way they are. I wish I wish.. But can I?If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I
If We Hold On Together
Is that how usually things go about? Holding on together and dreams will never die? If we have dreams, it will bring us through forever? So does dreaming help? Will it help me in this way too?So if I try to hold on to my dreams, it will see me through everything?
If only I had not said that, all this will not happen. If only I had survive through another couple of days, it will be happily ever after. If only I had dump my electronic device away, I won't be regreting now. if only I had talk to someone, I won't be here sobbing away. If only I was being contented and understanding, all this will never happen. If only..."If only...
Those must be the two saddest words in the world."
All I can do is wait. The time is so long. I hate the slow ticking time. In a couple of hours. Ok, it is A LOT of hours. Waiting is forever so long..You were his star for many nights.
But now the roles have changed.
I'm the leading lady in his life.
Lights, camera, now you're on.
Just remember you've been warned.
Enjoy it now, 'cause this will last.
I'm the future, you're his past.
Same Script Different Cast
Am I still the star for your night? Am I still the leading role? Or it has change already? I really wonder, will I be the future or the past. I am really unsure. I am really unsure which I am. Am I the future or am I the past? Will I be future or will I be the past? Can I still be the leading lady in your life?Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time.
Would you be There
No appetite;
For the whole of today, I only eaten a pack of wanton mee where I left half of the noodles. Up to date, I am totally not hungry AT ALL.
No mood to sleep;
I tried to fall on my bed and sleep for more than 5 times and none of it work at all. I did not sleep for the whole of last night either. I never had problem of not sleeping.
Not in the mood to laugh;
Watch variety show on SCV, I turn out to be tearing upon laughing. What is happening to me?
Not focing;
Been staring into space and think about things which I should not be doing. Drifted easily.
No mood for anything;
Was suppose to help plan something, however; I am too not concentrating to plan and thus, deciding to push it to someone to take over. All in my mind was waiting for it to happen.
Dangling halfway;
Seriously, need to think through hard. Having the "what if" thoughts. What if ... What if ... I really do not know what is going to happen. Thinking of the good and bad.
Day is crawling by;
The longest wait is not created by the amount of time passed, but by your mind. I totally understand that sentence. Time is still ticking as usual but it is totally slow these days.
What can I do?!?! I really want things to come so quick that I can quit guessing. Please!!
I thought I can hibernate myself. However, I desperately needed a place to pour all my troubles in. And yes, that is my blog.
I am feeling terrible now. What is happening? What am I thinking? What do I want? What am I wishing for? Is there any alternative?
I am seriously not going online at all. I do not wish to go online at all. I rather skip all the questioning of what is happening.
Seriously, I have no one to turn to now. I really do not know what to do now. All I can do is wait. Maybe something miracle might happen?
You will get disappointment if you pin too much hope. I know all this. However, do I have a choice?
The weekend is really long. So long that I kept thinking about it. For once, I find my weekend too long to survive through. For once.
I thought this 3 days of long weekend is finally the time for me to relax. I was wrong. All I hope for now is for the weekend to end fast.
I always have the thought that when I sleep, time flies and the best of all is, everytime when I sleep, the next moment I wake up, it is the following day already.
However, I cannot sleep at all. I am staying awake on bed. For once! I was known as the sleeping worm in my family and now, I cannot sleep regardless how I roll and turn on bed.
I want to fall into deep sleep and the next thing I know is morning. Weekend is so long, weekdays are so long too. Why is that so?
Why does God want to torture me? What have I done wrong this time? Why must He always torture me with such things?! WHY WHY WHY!!!
This song makes me cry..
SHAYNE WARD
Breathless
If our love was a fairytale
I would charge in and rescue you
On a yacht baby we would sail
To an island where we'd say I do
And if we had babies they would look like you
It'd be so beautiful if that came true
You don't even know how very special you are
You leave me breathless
You're everything good in my life
You leave me breathless
I still can't believe that you're mine
You just walked out of one of my dreams
So beautiful you're leaving me
Breathless
And if our love was a story book
We would meet on the very first page
The last chapter would be about
How I'm thankful for the life we've made
And if we had babies they would have your eyes
I would fall deeper watching you give life
You don't even know how very special you are
You must have been sent from the heaven to earth to change me
You're like an angel
The thing that I feel is stronger than love believe me
You're something special
I only hope that I'll one day deserve what you're given me
But all I can do is try
Every day of my life
Things have changed and yes, I am going to face it.
I have no one to blame. I have to accept the fact that I cause it to happen. No regrets.
Due to some unforseen reason, Anne won't be blogging for some time. I needed some time alone and forget about somethings. So everyone, take care! I doubt I will be online either. I am not sure what will happen.
When I manage to face the fact already, I will be standing up from the fall. Yes, I will.
For now, I do not wish to think much and all I want to do now is work hard, study hard, score well and get back to the time where nothing happened at all. That is all that I want to do now.
I will step out of the shell soon. Let's wait =D
Everyone, take care! I won't be online soon nor blogging soon. Need to hibernate. =D
Take care!
stay happy;
rmb the promise;
What is wrong with you, Anne?
Today I talk to Zheng Yuan about woo-ing girls. Seriously, he is reading by book! Hello! Where got people woo girls via whatever the book says? No doubt is 4E1 mugger.
I had been reading and listening to many couple's lovely dovey. Argh~ Suddenly, I felt lonely.
My cousin is happily attached and yes, her boyfriend is so sweet! Whenever I read her blog, I felt so extreme happy for her, happy that she found herself a good partner. He is doing what a woman wants. He is doing everything that a woman expect. Seriously!
My other cousin and his girlfriend is another lovely dovey too. They are sticking thick and thin. Though they are quarrels interval, my cousin always have a way with her. Another sweet boyfriend and sweet relationship.
Jun Yuan got a girlfriend, Wen Xi. Jun Yuan is so sweet can! He is so tired and yet, he is scared Wen Xi is online in Macar, so he kept himself online as late as possible. He is so sweet! And he skip taking photo with me because he said he cannot take photo wish girls alone. LOL! Though it is kind of zhong se qing you, he is DAMN sweet. Sweet sweet relationship.
Jiunn Yuan and his girlfriend is also a pair of sweet couple. Jiunn Yuan's girlfriend always goes to his place to stay over and vice versa. They are always seen together. I am not sure if they quarrel or what, even if they do, I must say that they really have a very good way in handling things. They handle friendship and relationship very well. Sweet sweet couple.
I was reading Chin Chai's blog and yes, upon reading his tagboard and his girlfriend's blog. Mushu mushi. The two of them are so sweet too. Love here and there~ LOL! They are such lovely dovey. Chin Chai even gave her a hamster to keep her from boredom. So sweet of him. Sweet Sweet relationship.
Oh yes, I was blog surfing the other day and realise that, Wei Hao has a girlfriend too. Ok, another pair of lovely dovey tagging at each other's tagboard with love in the air~ LOL! They are so sweet with tons of photos. They are so sweet~ Sweet relationship =D
Suddenly, I found my friends all being attached in lovely dovey relationship. They are all in sweet sweet love~ LOL! My social circle of singles is getting smaller and smaller. LOL! Anne is single and yet, seeing other lovely dovey around.
Argh! What is happening??? Arhh!! Why can't mine be like that too? Why why why?
I felt lonely partially is because of having to be surrounded with tons of lovely dovey. The other reason is that my cousins are now busy being attached and they always talk about their love and talking about what sweet things is happening. Seriously, I felt lonely and felt sad within.
Ok, Stop complaining, Anne, you can never find a lovely dove out there. Face the fact. After so many relationship, why can't you face the fact that you are bound to be cheated by guys? Just face it!
I shall be a nun and learn taiji to pass my time. I shall be a successful woman without any guy. I shall be one of them. I sure can do it even if without a guy. Well, who says that a woman MUST have a guy? Nobody says so. So I surely can be one =D
People always say have fun when you are single. I think I am going to have years of fun. YAY! I am going to spend the rest of my life having fun fun fun =D
Anne, what is happening?! Think positive.
lonely~
To GY ex 4E1 students~
Are you interested to go for GY alumni gathering?
Or you all want to go for private gathering? LOL! Suggested by Yu Xuan (muahah! kanna pull in =x )
LOL!
Tell me ok? =D
TY!
Those who wants to upload the photos, you may upload it from Http://www.Palshare.com/MyDownloader/MyDownloader.asp?DLID=31PS3P2920082133zr6ys
The link is available for 10 days! And the file is very big, 192MB. Slowly download arh =D
It is Good Friday!! LOL! Happy Good Friday!! Today is the death of Chirst and soon, he will be rising from his death on Sunday.
Yesterday, I went out to play with my secondary school friends.
Yesterday morning, I was late for work. I went to work late. By the time I reach my work palce, it is near 9.00am already. So I did not slack much. LOL!
I was being very hard working for the whole of today. Then I went to Subway with Cheng Qian, Andrew, Jolene and Jun Long. It is the first time I am eating at Subway. I did not know how big was large and small and medium. So in the end, I order large, which is the same as Cheng Qian.
In the end, I did not finish my drink and I did not eat cookie. LOL! The cookie was saving for my dinner.
After which, I went over to Joseph side to meet up so we can go over Suntec City together. I met his friend, Benjamin, who was going over to Suntec City too. We were chatting throughout the bus trip.
When I reach there, we were looking for the place, and then we went to meet them. LOL! There are so many people and then, we were finding our way to Hans Café. We had a lot of fun. Or should I say I was being high and playing with them. LOL!
I took a lot of photo and talk to many people. I got to know that actually, Yu Xuan do read my blog!!
P.S Yu Xuan, if you are reading this, do tag at my blog ok? You need not a blog to tag =D You can just say hihi =D
I did not know that so many of them actually read my blog. I am so shocked! LOL!
We went to Suntec and after which, we went to Esplanade and walk around. After photo taking, most of them went home while Chin Swee, Pei Ying, Cailin and Joseph went for more photo taking. LOL!
I want to sit Farris Wheel!! Someone treat me please!! LOL!
I reach home at 12+ am and yes, I took the photos from Limin and Cailin already. And I have obviously uploaded all onto my blog. I am uploading into some online website so it is easier for others to download it. Whee~ Wait for me to upload finish and I will send all the links!
unexpected;
cannot even tahan like tat;
wat more?
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