Out with my Secret Date
My supervisor and I are very friendly to each other.
I very mei da mei xiao to him.
We are buddy.
This is the email I sent him this afternoon.
Google-ed online and most of the programmers who experience such problems
are those who had downloaded VB 2005/VB 2008. However, none of the website
actually given solution to such problems.
The few websites which I googled and none of it actually gives me something.
http://forums.asp.net/t/1211330.aspx
http://forums.microsoft.com/MSDN/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=1549161&SiteID=1
http://weblogs.asp.net/scottgu/archive/2007/07/26/vs-2008-and-net-3-5-beta-2-released.aspx
How?
Good luck to you hor.
Faster solve the problem hor.
Else I don't want to do already.
LOL!
Don't throw me to level 14~~
Arhhh~
And this is what he replied.
Think keep searching for another 2 days. If still cannot then boh bian, throw u upstairs leow...haha.. if need me to do, employ u for what? faster solve, if not cut your pay..haha
My supervisor so bad.
He always threaten to cut my pay!
If I win toto/4d,
I sack him then he know.
Keep threaten me with my pay.
Hmph!
Today,
I was saying about how important this attachment is to me.
Because of grades.
Then Chee Hoong says that it is nothing.
Then I shoot him,
"diff case.. you now old liao, working.. got grade anot no different..nt like me, still young, grade very important.. so better give me A!"
LOL.
He say he want to complain to my LO.
LOL!
Then I said,
"complain lo.. i go and corrupt the computer and den delete the code, make you find the bug yourself.. don't help you.. muahahah!"
He sian diao~
LOL!
I like my supervisor,
He very nice.
I like Serena too.
She is very nice.
I like shuai staff too.
He is very nice.
I like Jun Long too.
He is very nice.
I like the staff beside me,
He is very nice.
In general,
I like working at DSO,
Cause the staff very nice.
They all entertain me for the whole of today.
Jun Long's supervisor, Kok Yong, came,
He saw me rotting there.
He asked if I'm ok.
I told him I'm ok but,
Chee Hoong don't care about me.
LOL!
Then the staff beside me said,
"This girl she very good leh..
he (shuai staff) and I kept entertaining her.
Chee Hoong don't care her,
We shower care and concern and entertain her.
Your student also entertain her.
She very good life here."
LOL!
I know I very good life.
Everyone over there keep entertaining me.
Who ask me sit next to the staff?!
LOL!
I was flipping their books just now.
The book on TOXICOLOGY!
Wow,
Chim.
Don't understand.
So end up,
I return them the book upon opening.
LOL!
Shuai staff explain to me what is TOXICOLOGY.
LOL!
He so nice.
Haha!
Enough of shuai staff.
You people won't get to see him at all.
No camera,
You can't come DSO either.
Muahaha!
Only I know how shuai staff look like.
He is not imaginary.
He is a real person.
I don't have depression.
I am not imagining things.
He is real!
LOL!
He is not a imaginary shuai staff.
LOL!
Was talking to my cousin just now.
She said that she feel that if he is a real guy,
He will not be afraid.
He will not be scared of such things.
She says that let guys choose you,
Girls choose guys.
Well,
I don't know about it.
My cousin says that,
I should not wait for him,
Not be sad that he did not turn back at all.
The reason is because,
He knows that I'm waiting for him,
And he is treating me so coldly.
That isn't the way to treat a girl.
She herself had such experience before.
She waited for the guy.
When she is with the guy,
She don't feel happy at all.
She feel very xin ku.
I am not sure if I'd feel so,
I don't know if I will,
I feel like being with him.
Well,
What I can say is that we have different opinion to some sense.
Yes,
I had been listening to my cousin always.
This time,
What she said is her experience.
I do feel shaky too.
She says that if a guy really love me,
He will not be there being scared.
He will not even feel scared at all.
Well,
Different people different ba.
I'm not sure either.
I don't wish to think that much either.
I want to let things go one step at a time.
I know what I want now.
I'm not sure how it will transform into next time.
For once,
I am opposing what my cousin say.
I am determine in doing that step
And hoping for him to turn back.
Well,
I know the result is very negative.
I know it.
Yet,
I want to try it.
Well,
I will cry.
I think.
Even so,
I will still feel sad.
Though my cousin told me that there is nothing to be sad of.
Well,
I will still feel sad and depress over it.
I'm not sure why either.
I feel very tight within.
Well,
I have nothing to say.
I hope that things turn out well.
I really hope.
I don't know about the guys if they really love you,
They will not be scared part.
But I really hope,
Things will turn out fine.
I really hope so.
Well,
That is the least I can hope for.
Else,
I think I'd try to walk through too.
I will look forward to the day where I walk out of it.
Since he is going,
I sad,
He will go.
I happy,
He will still go.
Why do I make myself miserable?
Tomorrow is dooms day.
Though going to get rejected,
Yet,
It is not the end of the world.
Yes,
I'd be very sad.
I mean,
Who won't?
But it gonna be temporary.
Soon,
When I walk out of it,
It will be ok.
P.S. grace, do you find this familiar? that is our conversation.
So yes,
I will be happy once again.
To my cousins,
I am always showing the Strong Career Woman.
Confident,
Strong,
Never falls,
Never stop going crazy and have fun.
I don't know what I'm like to my friends.
But Anne never falls!
Anne will be strong and stand up once again.
Yes,
Anne will be!
Jia you =D
PM: with my calibre, I can find someone who can accept me whole heartedly.
My brother says that my PM is gai lan.
LOL!
He says that I am discriminating the ugly girls.
LOL!
Indirectly,
He is saying I'm pretty.
LOL! =D
So bu yao lian de anne.
LOL.
Oh yes,
I heard my neighbour playing the piano.
I was doing the fingering too.
I miss playing the piano.
I miss playing and spamming the piano.
I miss reading the notes.
I miss drawing the notes.
I miss looking for scores online for the song I wanted.
I miss playing piano.
Since young,
I play the piano.
When I was in secondary 2,
Coming 3,
I started learning the piano.
Well,
Within 2 years,
I jump from grade 1 to 5.
My piano teacher is very strict.
He always wants me to play well.
He is very pro too.
He just take a look at the score,
He can play the song immediately.
My sight reading sucks!
Best of all,
He can play the particular part for his right hand with his left hand.
Wow!
He is damn pro!
He knows how to play the guitar,
Violin,
Piano of course.
There is this once,
I played a new song.
It is classical song.
8 pages long.
And the worst of all is,
The whole score is full of up and down.
Fast, slow, fast.
Loud, soft, normal.
A lot of change in notes and tones and rhymn.
I almost give up.
The fast part machiam faster than canon in d's chores.
My finger almost break from playing so fast and hard.
Yes,
The best part was,
My piano teacher played the violin with the song,
While I played with the piano.
Performance.
LOL!
Disgraceful ok!
I miss a note.
As usual.
That part is so fast that I always miss the note,
I don't even hear the difference,
My teacher heard it.
We had performance for the 8 pages long piece.
He played the violin while I played the piano.
I almost die from it.
Had to step the pedal when wearing heels.
Had to wear nice nice.
Eeek!
So disgusting!
Haha!
I almost broke down upon playing that song.
I did not have a piano at home.
I had to play while imagining the piano is in front of me.
Perfect!
I have good imagination.
LOL!
That is not the point.
I miss playing the piano.
I feel like playing the piano again.
I feel like getting my hands on the piano.
I miss playing the piano so much.
However,
My house will not get a piano.
No place to put.
If I were to learn,
I need to go back to piano school occasionally and book the room.
I don't like.
Because their room is small and enclose.
The aircon cold like shit.
And parents like to look into the room.
No privacy.
I miss playing the piano!!!
I have no time either.
Last time I quit learning the piano because,
I have no time.
Plus,
I was busy with school and CCA.
And I had a boyfriend who LOVES to ask me to skip piano,
If I don't,
He will angry.
Yes,
Thus I got very stress,
I did not have the mood to play the piano either.
Too tired already.
So I gave up.
My mother had to pay so much for my piano too.
It is rather expensive.
I mean when grade gets higher,
It will get more expensive.
I thought before,
If I can learn to grade 8,
I can need not worry about my pay already.
Reason being,
Teaching piano is good money.
Of course,
If you teach grade 1,
The pay is like,
nothing!
If you teach higher grades,
Which is usually private tutor,
Because school has lesser time for you,
The pay is like,
WHOO!
LOL!
For money,
I wanted to learn piano and earn money.
Oh yes,
I read the feng shui thing at NUS Forum today.
Wow!
Practially,
All horoscope have Virgo in the list.
Virgo being best in helping them get money,
Or something like that.
Just got to do with career.
Wow!
Virgo!
They say Virgo have healing hands.
Why aren't I healing myself?
And they say that Virgo are so realistic that,
They do not put "I Love You" at their mouth always.
They believe in action and not words.
I totally agree.
I seldom say I Love You.
I say I miss you more.
LOL!
And I love actions.
Like making something small for me,
A drawing or card,
I'd be very happy.
If they get me something practical,
I'd use it everyday.
Well,
That is if.
But,
Nobody wants me now.
LOL!
What the hack!
Saw him can!
Idiot!
Bloody hell!
I was at the interchange.
I saw his clique.
I called Joseph for help.
Then,
I got up the bus,
Saw Jian Hao.
Started talking to him.
Ignoring the fact that I saw them.
I thought they are going somewhere.
So I did not think much.
Neither did I know,
At the stop I am getting down,
He came up the bus.
I wanted to ignore his friends totally.
However,
When I was going to get down,
They kept saying bye so loud that I had no choice,
But to turn.
They even said mayi!
Idiot!
Fine!
I had no choice but to turn.
Then when I got down one step,
They kept saying behind.
So I turn.
I saw him.
What the hack!
His friends did call him telling him I'm on bus.
So I think he saw me.
Yet he pretend he did not.
I think.
So I pretend I did not.
I did not say hi too.
I just went down.
Because there are people going down too.
I had to do so.
I saw him!!
IDIOT!!
Emotions start stiring.
Idiot.
I went accross the road,
Without seeing the cars.
I just cross.
I was being friendly,
I message him and asked why is the there?
He said he was going to help give the food.
Fine then.
He meet them for dinner.
Fine then.
What should I say.
I have nothing to say.
Very well indeed.
I just act as if nothing happen.
I still joke him saying he come toa payoh pa tuo.
How can you do that?!
Emotion rising now.
What the hack can!
We are suppose to meet tomorrow,
And today?!
What the hack is this?!
What is God trying todo?
What do He want to do?
What do He want?!
What does God want to do!!
Why is he playing with me like that?
Why?!
He is making a fool of myself.
I hate it!
Emotion rising.
Just now,
On the bus,
I closed my eyes and rest.
End up,
I cried!
I was thinking too much.
Emotion just came in.
I was hoping to see him at NP bus stop.
End up I did not.
I saw him at the stop I am getting down to go home.
What is this?
WHAT IS THIS!!!
I was feeling so happy today.
I was feeling so optismistic today.
I was feeling great and not being troubled today.
Why did God fool me?
Why did He make me cry on the bus?
Why did He make me tear?
Why did He make me see him?
Why?!
Not today!!
I was so happy and looking forward to tomorrow.
Now that I see him,
I miss him so much!
I don't know how to pass tonight and tomorrow!
Idiot!
I wonder how he feel upon seeing me.
I really wonder!!!!
Bloody hell!
Emo!!!!
Going home in an hour's time.
SO happy!
It is Friday again!
Finally!
I love weekends!
Last weekend,
It was horrible.
I did something wrong.
This weekend,
I hope something happen..
I am going home for dinner tonight.
On Wednesday,
I went on secret date until 12.30am.
Yesterday,
Went Stella house until 11.30pm.
Shucks~
Today have to go home early.
Going home now.
bb
I was going to work this morning,
I heard this song from my MP3.
It is called Only Love.
I suddenly find the meaning so meaningful.
It is also the song that is found in the story,
"I believe you"
It seriously reflect how I felt,
What is the situation between us,
What I really think.
2 a.m. and the rain is falling
Here we are at the crossroads once again
You're telling me you're so confused
You can't make up your mind
Is this meant to be
You're asking me
But only love can say -
try again or walk away
But I believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So I'll just play my part
And pray you'll have a change of heart
But I can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do
In your arms as the dawn is breaking
Face to face and a thousand miles apart
I've tried my best to make you see
There's hope beyond the pain
If we give enough, if we learn to trust
But only love can say -
try again or walk away
But I believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So I'll just play my part
And pray you'll have a change of heart
But I can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do
I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'd give our dream just one more chance
Don't let this be our good-bye
But only love can say -
try again or walk away
But I believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So I'll just play my part
And pray you'll have a change of heart
But I can't make you see it through
That's something only love can doTrademark;
Only Love
Is there something only love can do?
When everything fails,
Shall I turn to love?
It is so true.
2 a.m. and the rain is falling
Here we are at the crossroads once again
You're telling me you're so confused
You can't make up your mind
Is this meant to be
You're asking meTrademark;
Only Love
You asked me the same thing too.
Are we meant to be?
You are so confused.
You do not know what you want anymore.
You can't make up your mind.
But,
Only one thing can tell you what to do,
That is love.
But only love can say -
try again or walk away
But I believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So I'll just play my part
And pray you'll have a change of heart
But I can't make you see it through
That's something only love can doTrademark;
Only Love
To walk away or try again.
Only love can tell you.
Just like now,
I am pinning hope.
Just like knowing if you were to give me another chance,
The sun will be shinning bright for us again.
I will play my part.
All I hope is that you will change your heart,
And turn back.
I know that just me saying,
Nothing can change at all.
However,
Like I said before,
With love,
There are many things that we can do.
Because only love can do it.
In your arms as the dawn is breaking
Face to face and a thousand miles apart
I've tried my best to make you see
There's hope beyond the pain
If we give enough, if we learn to trustTrademark;
Only Love
There is really hope.
All we have to do is get through the fear.
If we both compromise and give enough to each other,
If we trusted each other,
There is hope.
Beyond everything,
There is hope.
Because there is love.
I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'd give our dream just one more chance
Don't let this be our good-byeTrademark;
Only Love
If I can find the way out,
If my words can touch you deeply,
If I can find what words to secure you,
If I can eliminate the fear,
You'd give me one more chance,
You'd give us one more chance,
You'd let our dreams have hope,
You'd let our promises become true.
So please,
I really hope this is not going to be our last goodbye.
I don't wish this to be the last goodbye.
Yes,
I know we'd meet again,
However,
At that time,
The goodbye holds different meaning already.
I really don't wish this to be the last goodbye.
This song really deliver my feeling so well.
I totally did not realise the present of this song until today.
I know I use to love this song a lot,
That was when I was with Daryl.
I love to spam it.
Though it is sad.
Yet,
Now that I listen to it by coincidence,
I find the lyrics something which I wanted to deliver so true.
From the first post,
I should have posted this.
And I won't emo for so long,
It will not take so long for others to realise what is happening.
Tomorrow is the test day,
Today,
I found this song.
So what is it trying to tell me?
This song really deliver what I want to say.
However,
It does not tell me what is the ending.
It did not tell me whether the person turn back.
So,
I can only wait till tomorrow to decide.
Yes,
Tomorrow.
I am so looking forward to it.
Regardless is it good or bad.
For at least,
It stops all the uneasiness and guessing.
I really hope the sun will shine one day.
I really hope,
to make you see there's hope beyond the pain
Anne,
Faith!
Trust!
Even if fail,
You know that there are many people behind supporting you.
You know that Time will bring you through.
You know that everyone will worry for you.
So pull yourself up!
If pass,
I'd make it known.
I really don't wish to hide anymore.
I had enough of the hidding already.
So if you are really tempted to know what happen,
Who is the male lead,
Pray that the fear he have of me will be eliminated.
Pray that the love he have for me will once again be relighted!
Well,
If you totally have no interest,
Please pray for that too.
I mean,
No harm praying right?
And you wish to see your friend happy too.
I know that there is somethings which can be done somehow.
Jia you!
will you read;
i really hope you do;
though i know you wont;
cos you say u'd be stress;
i really hope u read about it.
Honestly what will become of me
don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is dandy
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming
[Chorus:]
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?
Traveling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets it and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?
Well the dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Die die die die die
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?
Well the dogs were barking at a new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon
And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day 'til the feeling went away
And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and
the rain forgot how to bring salvation
the dogs were barking at the new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die.Nelly Furtado;
All Good Things (Come To An End)
Why do all good things come to an end?
I remember once,
I was playing with him.
We were having practical lesson,
Pa-tuo-logy.
Then we heard this song in a shop.
Then I joke him and said.
All good things come to and end right hor?
We also mah~
Lovers to friends.
He was extremely agitated and keep saying,
No No No.
Won't one.
Then he hugged me so tight,
And kept mumbling don't end don't end.
He was so cute.
Just like a little boy.
A little boy who love the toy so much,
When someone wants to snatch it or throw it,
He will hug so tight and start mumbling,
Don't throw, don't snatch.
So cute!
Well,
Now that things are going this way,
He won't hug me so tight and mumble.
We used to transform from,
Strangers to friends,
Friends to lovers.
I think soon,
The process will reverse.
Lovers to friends.
Friends to strangers.
I know I keep thinking so negatively.
However,
I have no faith that I can make him see it through.
I have no confident that I can make him turn back.
I am giving it a try tomorrow.
Well,
I am still pinning hope.
Alot of hope.
I am still thinking of how things will go.
Just like director planning the script.
Even so,
I am prepared to look forward for the day that I walk out of the darkness.
I know that it cannot be forced.
I know that he is very determine already.
I know his character.
Once he decide on something,
It is hard for him to change.
I know that perfectly.
Well,
All I can do is pray and hope.
Assuming that God answers prayer.
I mean ALL prayers.
I went to read some Feng Shui book.
And it says that Leo,
Which is his horoscope,
Love luck is strongest from mid feb to 20 march.
21 march,
The day that things changes.
Perfect!
LOL!
Well,
Lets hope and see.
I'd post the result tomorrow night.
After the talk I presume.
If I am still strong enough to blog it.
Else I'd spam my cousin's phone,
If she is not studying pa-tuo-logy.
Else I'd spam Limin's phone,
If she is not busy moving house.
Else I'd spam Joseph's phone,
If he knows what to say to console me.
LOL!
Let's just hope for the best!
I don't wish all good things come to an end~
I need him.
Where is he?
I called him.
No pick up.
I email him.
No reply.
I am so troubled.
Where is he?
He is throwing me alone here.
I hate staying here alone.
He wanted to throw me somewhere else.
However,
I so do not want it.
I have no choice.
I have to listen to him.
Else he will leave me.
Without him,
I cannot live.
Without him,
I have no goal.
I cannot don't have him.
I need him badly.
Where is he?
Please,
Don't think wrongly.
The HIM I am refering to,
Is my supervisor.
The stupid programme can't work.
Darn~
I research online,
Many programmers had such problems too.
However,
It is because they downloaded the beta version before.
This computer did not.
I had deleted all the related stuff and yes,
It still cannot work.
Darn~
I shall elaborate on what I said earlier.
The HE I am talking about is my supervisor.
I called him,
He did not pick up.
Email him did not reply.
I'm so troubled
Because I am so stucked.
He left me to die alone here.
Zhi Shen Zhi Mie.
He said,
If cannot work,
Move house to level 14.
But I do not want.
There are no friends there.
And heard that seldom people go there.
Except those damn power experiment.
Level 14,
Restricted area.
Not all staff have the pass to level 14.
Plus,
There is no internet access at all.
The computer lab there is seldom access.
Shucks~
I might just die there.
If he leave me,
I will die.
I will not get $$,
WIthout him,
I don't have $$ to live.
I will not get GRADES,
Without him,
I'm a O level kid.
I have no goals and future.
So I cannot live without him.
I hate to say that but,
He is important to me for this 5 months~
After this 5 months,
Poof!!
Just now,
As I was being so depress,
Shuai staff talk to me.
Whee~
I said Chee Hoong don't care about me.
So he entertain me =x
So nice~
LOL!
I went for lunch with Joseph just now.
We went over to Engineering block for Indo food.
It is quite nice.
LOL!
I am so full.
LOL!
Full Full.
I don't know what more to blog.
Speechless.~
LOL!
Weekend is tomorrow.
Test date is tomorrow.
Excited.
LOL!
I know all good things come to an end.
Inspiration.
LOL! =D
Ok,
Programme does not work again.
My supervisor gave me alot of suggestion to solve it.
And yes,
I had been working on it and yes,
I am so hard working today.
Whee!
I still cannot get the solution.
Die.
This is not within my job scope.
And I don't get extra pay for this.
Idiot~
Its ok,
I am very nice.
I shall help my supervisor to do all the downloading.
I am a nice kid.
So my supervisor will speak good of me,
In front of my LO.
Muahaha!
Did I mention,
My LO wants to come visiting on the 10th April?
I need to act GUAI GUAI that day.
No Msn,
No blogging.
Sad!
Hope he don't stay long.
Ha!
I am going to eat soon.
I am going Engineering there to eat.
With Joseph.
Cheng Qian called me immediately Joseph put down.
Sad~
I already had a lunch date.
Last time want lunch date,
Nobody yue.
Sad!
Now,
2 guys yue me for lunch date!
LOL!
Oh shit!
Haha!
The shuai ge ask me want to go lunch together with him or not!
But I already agree to go with Joseph.
Sad!
It all happened like that.
The staff next to me,
Was discussing with the shuai staff where to go and eat.
Then the shuai staff asked me,
If I had taken my lunch.
I said no.
Then he asked if I want to join them.
I said I am meeting my friend.
Orh~~~~
Then the two of them say I pang seh them!!
Arhhh!!!
So sad!!!
What is with today?!
3 guys asked me out for lunch.
No wonder today,
I am rather happy.
I did not emo on the bus.
I did not emo at home.
I kan kai le!
And,
3 guys asked me for lunch date!
Whee~
Arhhh!
I want to eat lunch with shuai staff~
Ahhh!!
Never mind!
I still have 4 months and 1 week at DSO.
Sure got chance!
LOL!
P.S. they are not sent to disrupt my love life.
Ha!
Going to eat lunch soon.
Blog after lunch.
Later got to call my supervisor.
After lunch!
LOL!
Subha say,
My face really no colour.
Oh shucks!
Where did all the colour go?
Why like that?
It must be all the white bread fault!
It must be!!
I love my hair~
I know very random.
However,
I am dropping too much hair.
So much that my mother asked me to go and cut it!
Idiot!
She ask me to cut short.
Well,
I might go and cut short.
One shot!
Zap!
All gone.
5 months later,
After attachment,
When I go back school,
My hair should be still short.
Argh!
I don't want to cut.
But it is dropping so much.
Do anyone have any idea how?!
Please advise!!
Yecks!
Can't get to blog peacefully today.
Had to keep restarting computer now and then.
Then my supervisor had to come in now and then,
Because I called him now and then.
Today,
I am suppose to install Visual Basic 2008.
Yesterday had problems with it.
My supervisor downloaded at home and bring to work.
After downloading it from net,
Still cannot work.
Uninstall it.
Delete from register key.
Restart computer.
Install 2005 and try.
Still cannot.
Uninstall,
Delete from register key.
Restart computer.
Install 2008 from DVD.
Still cannot work.
Same problem.
But I'm not suppose to fix it.
It is not bug!
LOL!
It is package error.
Uninstall,
Restart.
Research on VB 2008.
Decided to delete VB 6.
I had been working with VB6 for the past 3 weeks.
Got feelings already ok.
Now need to delete.
Stupid~
Xi Xin Yan Jiu.
Got new one,
Don't want old one.
Human arh!
Are all like that.
VB6 came out in 1998.
However,
As we were searching for items to delete,
Found out,
There is VB3.
LOL!
Wonder which year it is made.
VB3 can!
Now already VB9.
VB8 is 2005.
VB7 is 2001.
VB6 is 1998.
So imagine VB3.
LOL!
Deleted VB6.
Restarted computer 3 times.
They say delete need restart.
Then,
Now downloading VB 2008 again.
If cannot work,
Email technical support.
No choice.
My supervisor had no idea either.
Wanted to download it into another computer.
But all the computer here are Microsoft 2000.
Except for this,
Microsoft XP.
So no choice.
Does not support.
The guy next to me,
Is a staff,
Doing a project using Matlab and rat,
Doing with Kok Yong,
Jun Long's supervisor,
He brought reference books.
There is this thicker than AEM book called,
TOXICOLOGY.
Wow!
And this book same thickness as AEM called,
The Laboratory Rat.
Wow!
So profound!~
LOL!
And just now,
The shuai staff talk to me again!
Shucks!
He came in,
Talk to the guy next to me,
And asked me what am I doing.
LOL!
He is so good looking.
Then,
I overheard the guy next to me and Kok Yong talking.
They say that,
The shuai staff is now doing his PHD now.
Shucks!
PHD!!
So young so clever.
Grrr!
Zhi Yuan,
Now really got a shuai ge can!
LOL!
Today,
I'm on blogging spree again~
Whee~
I am so happy.
No more emo days.
Thanks to grace and limin.
My darling and dear.
**smooches~**
Yesterday night,
I talked to grace online.
She is waiting for a guy's return.
Her PM was "one day closer;"
I thought,
Optismistic thinking!
Usually people will count down,
And complain there is still so many days more.
However,
Grace's mentality was,
One day closer,
One day nearer to his return.
Optismistic!
I talked to her,
The things she said was so true.
I should not be thinking how I will cry on the test day.
I should be thinking the good and bad.
If it turns out bad,
I should be looking forward to the day I step out.
And not how sad I'd be.
Perfect.
I love what she said.
Imspirating.
I'd go home and read the chat log and copy what she says.
Shucks!
Programme got problem again.
Shucks!
Need to call my supervisor again!
Grrr!
Anne is back into blogging spam!
LOL!
Yesterday,
I reach home at about 11.30pm.
I know it is very late.
I know that!
Yesterday,
At work,
I was pondering how to go Stella's place.
I was so tired,
Li Chao ps me!
LOL!
So I was a little agitated.
End up,
My phone went batt-less.
LOL!
Thanks to a guy.
A very nice guy.
If not for this nice guy,
I think I'd be crying hard on the bus.
I think I'd be complaining more on my blog.
I think I'd be crying at Jelapang Road.
I think I'd be begging for phone at Jelapang Road.
I think I'd be emo-ing more on my way to Jelapang Road.
Yes,
That guy is very nice.
Guess who is it?
P.S. it is not another guy to disrupt my life. LOL! Think only limin and joseph understand =x
Jun Long.
My life saviour!
He is so nice.
He offered to accompany me take bus to Bukit Panjang.
He offered to accompany and talk to me on the long bus ride.
He offered to pass me the MAGICAL 10 cent.
He is so nice.
My MP3 die on me,
My phone die on me,
My loneliness die on me.
Thanks to him,
I got someone to talk to and listen,
I got 10 cent to call people,
I got company.
He is a nice guy.
First time talking so much to him.
LOL!
I was rather fascinated with the views while I was on the bus.
Jun Long thinks that I'm like a kid who did not see the world.
LOL!
I think Jun Long thinks I'm rather idiot.
He gave me the sian face!
LOL!
I reach Jelapang LRT safe and sound thanks to Jun Long.
**huggies~**
I waited and then,
Stella and Li Chao came.
They came to bring me over.
Then,
Jolene said she is coming soon.
In the end,
She took the LRT from CCK,
Thinking that CCK LRT is Bukit Panjang LRT.
LOL!
Then we waited.
Stella,
As usual,
Wanted to scare Jolene.
In the end,
She scare a stranger!
LOL!
That is so funny!
Ha!
We went Stella's place,
As usual,
Li Chao got lost though that is the second time she is walking that path.
LOL!
I wonder what kind of captain Jack is that?!
Then with the help of Stella,
We reach her house.
Eugene and Zhi Yuan was there.
So we chit chatted.
LOL!
First time chatting with Eugene,
Even though we know each other by name and looks.
LOL!
Then,
We waited for Shuzhen and another girl to come.
By then it was 8pm plus already.
We ate KFC and Pizza Hut.
At 9 plus pm,
We had cake cutting session.
I got my hands on the camera and then.
Non-stop candid shots.
They all asked me since when I became like stella.
LOL!
Then,
The two girls left first.
At about 11pm,
The rest of us left.
Eugene share cab with me.
Since we are staying so close.
He stays at block 31,
And me at 35.
LOL!
I am so tired!
I reach home and took photo from Limin.
I went to bathe.
Then went to sleep while my computer is on.
I manage to get the file from Limin.
I think I'm so lucky.
The other time,
4E1 Gathering,
She tried sending many people the file,
End up?
All fail except me.
This time,
She tried sending Joseph and I.
End up,
Joseph's failed.
And mine success~
LOL!
Lucky kid =D
When I wake up this morning,
My hair is still moist.
LOL!
I slept with my hair wet.
I know it is no good for health.
No choice.
Ok,
Time to restart computer.
Blog again!
Yes,
This morning,
At 7 plus am,
When I was on my way to school,
I receive an email.
I only read it when I am at work.
Which is at about 9am.
I was so shocked when I receive the mail.
It is from a guy.
No no~
It is not a love note.
Nor the particular guy send me an email telling me he turn back.
It is from a stranger.
Remember I sent you an email,
Having a website?
Linking to a novel online?
The novel is called,
"I Believe You"
The other time
I was searching for the ending.
I asked a particular blogger,
If he could type out the last 3 chapters.
I did that last week.
After one whole week,
I thought the guy ignore me.
So I gave up.
Neither did I expect,
I receive an mail from him.
He typed the last 3 chapters for me!
Oh gosh!
I am so touched!
Now we are email-ing each other,
Discussing about the ending.
LOL!
P.S. it is not another guy to disrupt my life. LOL!
The ending is really stupid.
However,
Chapters 18 and 19 is interesting.
It is a little funny though.
The ending is so stupid!
Those who wants it,
You may ask me for it.
I'd send it to you.
If you have yet to decode the message,
Tell me,
Let the next da vinci code breaker break it for you.
Ha!
"Boys shall not cry.
We’re born with broader shoulders
to let girls cry on our shoulder."Low Kay Hwa;
I Believe You
It is so sweet!
Argh!
Boys have broader shoulder
To let girls cry on.
How many guys actually do so?
I'm not sure.
But it is so sweet,
Having a shoulder to lie on when you are crying.
So where is my "shoulder" to lie on?
Searching in progress.
In love,
either you love
or you don’t."Low Kay Hwa;
I Believe You
Oh no!
A simple sentence and yet,
Such big meaning behind it.
There isn't I'm not sure in love.
Is either you love the person,
Or you don't.
Sometimes,
Though you are telling you can't love the person,
You are still loving him.
Like for my case.
I know I can't,
Yet I can't help.
"Time would dry the tears."Low Kay Hwa;
I Believe You
You cannot tell me to stop crying over him,
You know that it is hard.
Everyone knows.
Time will heal.
That is what everyone says.
I don't know when.
But one day it will.
I asked Limin and Grace,
How to give a guy up fast.
The both of them gave me the same answer.
Time.
Time is so important.
Time is always so busy.
They had so much to do.
I wonder if they are tired.
Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived; happiness, sadness, knowledge, and all the others, including love.
One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave. Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment. When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help.
Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, "Richness, Can I come with you on your boat?"
Richness answered, " I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere."
Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel.
Love cried out, "Vanity, help me please."
"I can't help you", Vanity said, "You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat."
Next, Love saw Sadness passing by.
Love said, "Sadness, please let me go with you."
Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry, but, I just need to be alone now."
Then, Love saw Happiness.
Love cried out, " Happiness, please take me with you."
But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him. Love began to cry.
Then, she heard a voice say, "Come Love, I will take you with me." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived on land the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder.
Love then found Knowledge and asked, "Who was it that helped me?"
"It was Time", Knowledge answered.
"But why did Time help me when no one else would?", Love asked.
Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered,
"Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."
Yes,
Now everyone knows how great Time is.
Only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is.
Time is also capable of healing the wound.
Time will show how Love is delivered in many ways.
That is Time.
Now,
All I can do is give everything to Time to decide.
My way,
My road,
My path.
Whether Love will overcome all obstacles,
It is up to Time to tell.
So what I have Richness?
So what I have Vanity?
So what I have Sadness?
So what I have Happiness?
So what I have Knowledge?
They don't understand Love.
Love comes in many way.
Giving up one Love
Needs a lot of Time.
Time is the most powerful thing!
Cheers to Time!
Before I go to bed,
I want to say..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Stella~
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Yi Cong~
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Royston~
Just went to Stella's place.
Just reach home.
Just bathe finish!
Tired!
Yesterday slept at 2.30am.
For some reason.
Too tired to blog.
Update tomorrow at work.
**blink blink**
Made new friends.
Wa shit!
Later going stella house celebrate her birthday.
She stay so far!!
Jelapang road!
Li Chao end school at 5pm.
She say she don't want to wait for me.
She ask me to go myself.
Never mind.
I was asking how to go.
She told me 184 then take LRT.
I have bus concession and LRT are so expensive.
The main point is,
NUS don't have 184!
I have to take 151 to NP and take 184.
She say Zhi Yuan said that 184 quite long.
Piang!
151 there sure jam.
From NUS to NP,
Take about 20 minutes plus to 30 minutes.
If the jam is worst,
Better still!
Take 184 got jam also.
Idiot!
Such long ride alone.
It is very lonely one ok!
Plus,
With my mood now,
I hate being alone!!
I think by then I reach her place,
It is already 7pm.
Never mind about that.
Imagine me going home alone frmo Jelapang Road!
I check online and yes.
I need to take a total of 3 buses just to reach Toa Payoh Int.
And the time taken is 78 minutes.
Perfect!
I still have to take bus from interchange to home?
Another about 15 minutes.
All this time does not include waiting time.
The other time I went Wan Sin's place.
I took 184 to NP and then change to train.
That ride from Jelapang road to NP took me nearly 1 hour or more.
Fed up!
And that time,
I manage to go home,
I had someone to accompany.
Someone specially came down to accompany me home.
Last time there was someone.
Now,
I had to go home alone.
Idiot!
I still have work tomorrow.
It takes me 93 minutes to reach home.
So what time should I leave for home?
Idiot!!
Fed up!
I hate taking long ride alone.
Especially when I had someone to company always.
I hate it at this kind of time because,
I'd think alot.
Bloody hell!
The best thing is,
My damn phone no batt now!
Best day of my life!!
MP3 going no batt too.
Perfect!
I love today totally!!
Here is a short story with a beautiful message…
Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter,
'Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don 't fall into the river.'
The little girl said, 'No, Dad. You hold my hand.'
'What's the difference?' Asked the puzzled father.
'There's a big difference,' replied the little girl.
'If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go.'
In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.
So hold the hand of the person who loves you
rather than expecting them to hold yours..
This message is too short......
but carries a lot of Feelings.
Oh Shit!
Oh Shit!
Oh Shit!
Oh Shit!!!!
The shuai staff talk to me again!
Shit shit shit!!
I was damn nervous!!
My tummy is having reaction
My heart pumping so hard.
Oh no!!
He is damn shuai~
His voice damn nice!
Arh~
Fainting!!
He is showing concern!!
Oh no!!
He showed me concern!!
Argh!!
He so sweet!
"So hows everything Anne?" (Shit shit shit! He remembers my name while I don't even know his!)
Anne nods her head with the "still ok" face. (Shit! I'm speechless!)
"Its ok. Take it as a learning point. When you finish learning, Chee Hoong will start making use of you. haha!" (arh~ He is so concern~)
"Ha! He is already making use of me now. Well, else i'd not get my $500!"
"Well, work hard then. Work hard for your $500. Haha. I got to go.." (He looks unwilling~ arh~)
"I'd work hard. Ok, Good luck too. Ha!"
Oh shit!
He is damn good looking!
He was leaning on the table while talking to me.
Arh~
So good looking~
I am so happy my supervisor let me use the staff computer.
Else,
I won't even be able to talk to him.
LOL!
I'm sorry darlings, dears, beloved~
I love all of you too.
But he is really shuai~
Arh~
LOL!
Oh yes,
Yesterday night,
I went on secret date!
I love the date!!
Had tons of fun!
Like nobody's problem.
I went home at about 12.30am.
First time going out of house at 10.30pm.
First time!
But yes,
Damn nice experience!
Love it so much!
Hope have another experience like that.
I do not know what is the next time.
One of my date is moving already.
Moving to another area.
Though still in Toa Payoh.
But quite far.
Even so,
I love secret date!
Love my dates!
P.S. secret dates cannot be reveal yet.
**darlings, don't be jealous.
I love you too.
Muacks!**
P.S. darlings are Wan Sin, Li Chao, Cailin, Limin~
**beloved-s~, dont be sad~
I love you all equally!
Mass hug and smooches~~**
P.S. beloved are my cousins~
**dears, dont worry,
You are not forgotten.
Huggies~**
P.S. dears are Grace, Subha, Pei Ying~
LOL!
Those who like me,
Don't be jealous too.
I have alot of darlings and beloved and dears!
Don't be scare away!
I am still singles.
But don't expect me to give up my darlings and beloved and dears.
They are precious!
If you forbid me from my secret dates,
I'd bite!
If you ask me to pang seh them,
I'd fight back!
If you ask me to date them too,
I'd love you =D
If you cannot accept my darlings and beloved and dears,
Sorry hor!
Big cross for you!
Funny!
As if there is anyone liking me.
LOL!
Its ok~
I know my darlings love me =D
I know my beloved loves me too.
I know my dears are there loving me too.
I love them too.
But sorry,
I am alone one person.
I cannot separate so much love.
Don't ask me who I love most.
But I love all of you equally.
**huggies and kisses**
I know you people are dying of all the moshi moshi stuffs.
I love my darlings, dears, beloved~
All of you are my everything! LOVE!
I'd update about my secret dates soon.
Took tons of phots.
Will update tonight!
Love darlings, dears, beloved~
Back from lunch.
Today I really blog very little.
Shucks!
How can that be?
It should not be happening.
Anne is a blogger.
Yes,
She is one.
Limin says that,
"blog like ur job leh"
Well,
I work as a programmer,
+ a blogger.
If blogging do earn money,
Seriously,
I can earn it big times.
Perfect!
How I wish I am paid,
To blog.
Additional income,
Besides this pathetic $500 I'm taking.
Today,
There is no song of the day.
I had been spamming my blog with songs so much.
So much that it had taken up many post.
And you have scroll so much.
So yes,
I'd stop it.
Unless I hear something nice and meaningful.
Else,
No no~
Oh yes,
I went for lunch.
Guess at where?
Ngee Ann Poly.
Shucks!
I miss that place so damn much.
I want to go back there and have another round of fun.
Went Alumni to eat.
First time eating at Alumni.
The place is damn nice!
The food is rather ex.
Even so,
Once in a while.
The place is machiam nice!
If not for my attachment,
I'd have taken millions of picture.
I realise,
Ever since I start attachment,
My blog had been derive of photos!
My work place environment is perfect!
I love looking out.
The nice view!
I'm working on the 11th floor.
And the building around are all short!
Especially NUH,
Which is just accross the road.
So I can see the trees,
The nice sky,
The nice tall buildings.
Everything!
It is damn nice!
And nowadays,
Keep raining.
Before raining,
You really can see the clouds,
Taking over the sky.
You can really see the haze and fog cover the tall buildings.
I am damn tempted to take photo.
If not for my damn job!
If not for my damn job,
I'd have taken photo with Jun Long,
Taken photo with my supervisor.
Take photo of the cafe Junlong and my supervisor brought us.
Take photo with the IA students.
Take photo with everyone.
Taken photo of the beautiful sky.
Taken photo of the attractive anne **puke**
Most important of all,
I'd have taken photo of the handsome guy!!
Grrr!
All my job's fault!
Back to Alumni lunch.
I totally forgotten to take photos,
With EVERYONE!
Shucks!
I miss the chance of blogging them again.
Its ok!
That gives me another chance of asking them out for lunch.
Whee~
I meet up with Cheng Qian and then Wan Sin.
As usual,
Wan Sin and I will go a little crazy.
Then,
The others came.
Who came in all?
Wan Sin,
Li Chao,
Yalin - she say I slim down already! Over the mood!!
Xue Zhen - reborn-ded her hair. She say I look pale and thin. Ok~ Happy about the thin!!
Qi Xiang,
Kenneth,
Subha,
Cheng Qian,
Anne,
Jiunn Yuan - stupid guy! He wanted to cross and then my chair block him. The first thing he said was "Anne, you grow fat le!" LOL!
Justin - ask him interest in BME Prom anot, direct reject!!
Wei Hao - looking damn radian. Love is in the air~
Jermaine - cut his hair damn short!
Wen Xiong,
Jackie.
That is all.
I grew thinner already.
I am so happy.
Yes,
I know Jiunn Yuan say I grow fat.
Hearing what I want to hear only =D
I grew thinner.
Whee!
I am so happy.
The outcome of munching bread everyday.
But Xue Zhen says that I grew pale.
Oh no!
I am lack of make up.
Time to do some make up.
Must make up next time I see them.
Put alot of blusher + lip stick.
So I will look radian too.
Like LOVE IS IN THE AIR~
LOL!
Xue Zhen asked me what I grew thinner and look pale.
As usual,
My usual line.
"Wo shi lian le!"
LOL!
Regardless I'm attached or not,
That is forever the line.
LOL!
No wonder Li Chao don't believe me,
When I say,
"Wo shi lian le!"
She still ask me stop playing with her.
LOL!
When I look very happy,
I will say
"Wo lian ai le!"
LOL!
No wonder they don't believe me now.
Whenever I say WO LIAN AI LE,
Or WO SHI LIAN LE.
LOL!
Then,
Li Chao came,
Sitting next to Wan Sin,
Wan Sin and I,
Prompt Li Chao the same question.
"You Xiang Wo Ma?"
LOL!
And we look at her long.
She decided to change topic.
LOL!
Half way through,
Wan Sin left for her trial camp thing.
So I was left alone.
I was asking Li Chao,
How is life without Anne.
She say that the whole room is so quiet.
She is not use to having the whole room so quiet.
LOL!
See,
I told you,
There are people who miss me!
Muahaha!
I bring joy to others.
And of course noise!
LOL!
Then,
We were eating.
Wow!
Nice food!
Nice dressing.
Love the place.
No camera!
Saded~
Else,
With Anne's pattern,
She will go around and take photo with EVERY SINGLE ONE.
Eliminating,
Wei Hao,
Jiunn Yuan,
Wen Xiong.
They are all attached!
Cannot anyhow take picture with girls.
LOL!
I want to take picture!
Love their company!
My mood indeed got better after spending with friends.
Love their company so much!
We talk so much.
Though had hard time communicating with both tables,
I turn here and there.
Fun time playing around.
I told Subha about missing photo taking.
We plan to go another lunch together.
This time,
We are deciding to invade SP!!
Middle between NUS & NP.
So easier.
This time,
I am going to bring camera!
Hack the damn rule!
LOL!
I love my friends!
I love my darling wan sin, li chao.
Darlings~
**huggies everyone**
(except wen xiong, jiunn yuan, wei hao)
Muahaha!
Hai~
Fan arh!
Totally not in the mood to blog today.
Totally not in the mood to do anything today.
Luckily the programme is not working.
I had to download Visual Basic 2008.
That is my second objective,
Convert the code from Visual Basic 6 to Visual Basic 2008.
However,
I downloaded VB 2008.
It is not working.
Perfect!
Tried contacting my supervisor.
He is not there.
Perfect.
Totally nothing to do at work today.
Talking online since morning.
The staff sitting next to me,
Quite good looking,
Very friendly,
24 years old (I think),
Very clever,
Overseas Graduate,
Very nice,
Very gentleman.
That is not the main point!
The main point is that he asked me why I keep msn since morning.
Shucks!
I talk to him!
Arhh!!
LOL!
He is damn good looking!
His voice damn man!!
ARHH!
Shuai~~~
Ok,
Enough of Hua Chi!!
Now having BME Annual H Class meeting.
On MSN with 11 people, excluding me.
OMG!!
Haha!
Spam!!
Anne,
You are such an idiot.
Why did all this happen to you?
Machiam taking exam.
Like my CAEM.
I know that I am going to fail badly.
But I desperately hoping I can pass.
After the paper,
You are waiting for results.
You can't sit and treat it as if nothing happened.
You are just going to take it once and for all.
If you fail,
You cannot repeat anymore.
Because you don't have the time already.
You want to pass so much.
You know sure fail.
I'm experiencing things like that now.
I am taking a test of relationship.
I desperately hope can turn back.
I really hope that will happen.
But I know it will not happen.
I know that there is no turn back.
The damn test is on Saturday.
I cannot sit here and treat it as if nothing happen.
I am taking the test on Saturday,
I am getting my result on Saturday.
If really decided on not turning back,
It will never happen again.
Once gone is gone.
I am not sure one day,
Will return or not.
But I know,
Once gone,
It is gone.
Things cannot repeat already.
Saturday is nearing.
I do not know what to do.
I want it to turn back so much.
But I know that it is fruitless.
I know~
I don't know what to do anymore.
I did not know how to solve it.
Now,
Fear is overtaking Love.
How to solve and salvage matters?
How to minimise the fear to the minimum?
How to let the said to be overpowering Love to take over?
How can I do it?
I did not know I was fearful.
I did not know that I can cause someone to fear me that much.
I totally do not know about it.
Everyone will say the same sentence to me.
If he is meant to be yours, he will be yours.
Everyone is telling me that.
I always tell others that too.
However,
When you are in the situation,
It is very hard to think like wise.
It is seriously very hard.
The love consultant, Anne,
She herself always help listen to love problem.
Now when she have problem.
Others are telling her what she tell others.
It is normal.
Very normal.
Been talking to Limin.
She is trying to make me feel beter.
I finally found another person to pour things into.
She is rather experience.
She watch alot of love drama.
She can help me through.
She really giving me lecture.
She is teaching me how.
She is telling me how.
I am bombing her with questions
And she is telling me how.
I do not know what will happen.
All I can bomb her is the 2 points which I know.
In specific,
I don't know what is wrong.
I only know that he fear,
He is tired.
The rest I do not know.
I know.
I need to reassure for the fear.
Tired?
I don't know how.
I know,
I doubt he will allow me to reassure him.
But what can I do?
I mean,
That is what the talk is for.
In order to pass,
I need to extinguish the fear.
We need to do adjustments.
In order to do so,
Need to solve the fear one by one.
Machiam step 1, one solution
Step 2, one solution.
And part therefore.
He is scared I become possessive.
Pleasee!!
Tell others and nobody will believe it.
Maybe I am possessive.
Even so,
Because I care.
If he is looking for a less possessive relationship,
Machiam don't get one.
Do he know the commitment in relationship?
I guess he does.
Fear is something that you need to go try
And see the change to eliminate de le.
So very hard to like let him supress the fear at once de.
He must agree to let both of you to try out again
He must really open up n try again.
Will he do so?
I mean,
I am willing to do the change and eliminate it.
Will he be willing to try?
Everyone says,
God answers prayer.
So does praying help?
So does it mean that if I pray,
God will answer my prayer?
I don't know.
I am trying whatever I can.
I am trying all means.
All I wish for is..
To be with you.
Simple goal,
Hard process!
I was copying my blog post to Daryl.
For yesterday and today.
It is a total of 53 pages in microsoft words.
Perfect!
Anne,
You are such a writer.
It is so sweet of him.
"hey, u know tt i'll be always there"
Seriously,
Thanks him dearly.
I am going out soon.
Whee!
First time going out at this time.
Last time I will go and meet Daryl when he does night cycling.
Since then,
I do not go out so late.
Today,
I am going out so late.
Whee~
Night stalker~
Haha!
Shhh!
I am not going to tell you my secret date.
Shhh!
I love my secret date.
I love secret dating with my secret date.
Though we only do it once or twice a year,
I still love secret dating with my secret date.
Argh~
Don't be jealous.
Ask me,
I MIGHT accept you date.
LOL!
I'm dying seriously.
I have so much to say.
But I do not know who to tell.
I don't know who will understand.
I don't know who is free.
I totally don't know.
I miss you a lot.
I really do.
I so want to tell you.
But I'm scared.
I am scared that I get rejected.
I was listening to two songs while I am on the bus.
I felt extremely depress.
One is by Jolin, 你还爱我吗 (Do you still love me)
The other is by 7 Flowers, 我只想要 (I only want)
This two songs are really stirring up my emotions.
I want to delicate the song by Jolin to you.
And I want to tell you that the song by 7 Flowers,
Really display how I feel.夜里传来雨的声音 (Night transmits the rain the sound)
轻轻拨动心的旋律情 (Gently moves the heart the melody sentiment)
不自禁想起你 (Does not control self remembers you)
那些甜蜜的回忆 (These happy recollections)
总是不小心 (Is not always careful)
就淋湿了我的眼睛 (Dripped wet my eye)
爱情需要一些呼吸 (The love needs some breath)
偶尔保持一点距离 (Occasionally maintains a distance)
回到朋友的关系 (Returns to friend's relations)
任你自由的来去 (No matter what you are free round trip)
从此想念你 (From this time on thinks of you)
只能放在我心里 (Only can put in my heart)
你还爱我吗 (Do you still love me)
一直好想问你这句话 (Continuously wants to ask your this)
却又怕 (Actually feared)
听到你真实的回答 (Hears to your real reply)
你还爱我吗 (Do you still love me)
为何你总是不说话 (Why don't you always speak)
眼看我为爱不爱挣扎 (Looking at me struggling to love or not)
你爱我吗 (Do you love me)
好久没有你的消息 (Does not have your news for a long time)
心里还惦记着你 (In the heart also is keeping thinking about you)
在这冷冷的夜里 (In this cold cold night)
感觉那么的熟悉 (Feels such familiar)
好想再见你想听听 (Feel like seeing you and listening to)
你的声音 (Your voice)
你还爱我吗 (Do you still love me)
一直好想问你这句话 (Continuously wants to ask your this)
却又怕 (Actually feared)
听到你真实的回答 (Hears to your real reply)
你还爱我吗 (Do you still love me)
为何你总是不说话 (Why don't you always speak)
眼看我为爱不爱挣扎 (Looking at me struggling to love or not)
你爱我吗 (Do you love me)
感情的路 (Sentimental road)
总让人好无助 (Always lets the person helpless)
我会学着面对独处 (I will learn to face living alone)
给深爱的你祝福 (Pray for heavenly blessing for the deeply loved you)
你还爱我吗 (Do you still love me)
一直好想问你这句话 (Continuously wants to ask your this)
却又怕 (Actually feared)
听到你真实的回答 (Hears to your real reply)
你还爱我吗 (Do you still love me)
这是我唯一的牵挂 (This is my only worrying)
不管你会有什么回答 (No matter you can have any reply)
我会一直等你 (I will always wait for you)
你还爱我吗 (Do you still love me)Jolin Tsai Yi Lin;
你还爱我吗 (Do you still love me)
Yes,
It is very emo song.
Seriously,
I want to ask you so much,
Do you still love me.
Yet,
I am scared too.
I am scared of the truth.
I am very scared.
I will learn to face things alone.
I will learn to be brave.
And yet,
I am scared.
Why is that so?
I am really unsure.
怎麼說忘就忘記 (How said forgets to forget)
這甜蜜的過去 (This happy past)
被思念包著厚厚的糖衣 (Is being wrap thickly with missing like sugarcoating)
不想再為了你傷心 (Does not want be sad again because of you)
這最冷的夏季 (This coldest summer)
慢慢地 (Slowly)
慢慢結成冰 (Slowly forms the ice)
承諾變悲哀 (The pledge changes sorrowfully)
悲哀因我被愛 (Sorrowful because I am loved)
悲哀是你因為你不在 (Sorrowful is you because of you not here)
我好想抱著你訴苦 (I want to hug you to complain)
卻顯得好無助 (But shows that is helpless)
無助的讓人想痛哭 (Not helps lets the person want to weep bitterly)
我只想要 (I only want)
和你在一起 (To be with you)
朝著幸福走去 (Walking towards happiness)
像戀人般的簡單甜蜜 (Simple is happy like the lover)
我只想要 (I only want)
和你不分離 (Does not separate with you)
怎麼輕易放棄 (How easily gives up)
說你忘記 (Said you forgot)
我想這一定是報應 (I thought this certainly is a retribution)
都怪我太貪心 (All blames me too being greedy)
才讓你頭也不回的離去 (Only then lets departing which your does not return)
黃色絲巾是想念 (The decadent silk handkerchief is thought of)
在樹上被風吹 (Is blown on the tree by the wind)
孤單的 (Lonely)
孤單一個人無法沉睡 (Orphaned sole personally is unable the deep sleep)
承諾變悲哀 (The pledge changes sorrowfully)
悲哀因我被愛 (Sorrowful because I am
loved)
悲哀是你因為你不在 (Sorrowful is you because of you not here)
我好想抱著你訴苦 (I want to hug you to complain)
卻顯得好無助 (But shows that is helpless)
無助的讓人想痛哭 (Not helps lets the person want to weep bitterly)
我只想要 (I only want)
和你在一起 (To be with you)
朝著幸福走去 (Walking towards happiness)
像戀人般的簡單甜蜜 (Simple is happy like the lover)
我只想要 (I only want)
和你不分離 (Does not separate with you)
怎麼輕易放棄 (How easily gives up)
說你忘記 (Said you forgot)
愛情怎麼會讓每顆心都碎 (How can the love let each heart all break to pieces)
我不再相信你 (I no longer believe you)
卻又慢慢想起你 (But actually slowly remembers you)
我只想要 (I only want)
和你在一起 (To be with you)
我只想要 (I only want)
和你不分離 (Does not separate with you)7 Flowers;
我只想要 (I only want)
Hai.
Two emo songs.
Makes one emo Anne.
How can I really walk out of it?
I needed help.
I really cannot take the coldness anymore.
I really cannot take it anymore.
I am going to explode so soon.
I need to know the answer desperately.
I need to know what is the final decision.
I need to know what it is!
I really do not know how long I can hold on.
I really do not know already.
You said try.
Yet you are putting up coldness.
I really do not know what is it already.
Feeling so terrible.
I want to know so much.
I really wish that you can turn back.
I really wish that we can be toegether.
I really wish that all will turn out fine.
I really wish so.
So what I wish so?
The decision does not lies with me.
It lies with you.
I really need to know it.
I really hope I can get happily ever after story.
I really hope.
I really hope you can turn back.
I really really hope so.
I want to be the Anne which everyone knows.
And not this one who is guessing here and there.
I really need it so much.
I am guessing too much already.
How can I stop guessing?
Keeping myself busy is the best thing of all.
That is the only way out.
Initally,
I thought that this chance is going to be part of happy memories.
In the end,
It is more of a asking me to wait for answer period.
I am neglected greatly.
I thought we are suppose to act normal.
Where is the thing you insisted?
You insisted in sending and accompanying.
In the end?
Nothing at all.
Do you know that every morning,
I get down the bus,
I was hoping to see you so much?
I was hoping that you are there waiting?
I was hoping everything goes back to the past?
When I did not see you,
I have to wake myself up.
I have to slap myself so hard,
That I stop dreaming.
Do you know every evening,
I come down from DSO,
I was hoping for a surprise from you?
I will look around for any sights of you.
I will be hoping to see you at 151 stop.
I was hoping to see you at poly.
I was hoping to see you at jalan toa payoh.
I was hoping to see you?
When I reach the interchange,
I see the bus you always take to go home.
I am so tempted to find you?
I am so tempted to take it?
I am so tempted to run there and see if you are there?
I am so tempted.
I really do not know what is going on already.
I already do not know what to do anymore.
I already do not know how to face everything.
I am so lost.
Who is going to pick me up from here?
Who is going to take over?
Who is going to do all this?
Who?
Nobody.
You are not turning back.
You are walking away.
You said you will try.
I believe you.
But I don't feel that you are trying.
I feel that you are trying to hide.
I feel that you are trying to run.
I don't feel that you are trying to face it.
It is not that I do not have faith.
It is that,
I really had enough of the coldness.
This coldness is enough to freeze everything.
It is enough to cause freeze marks.
It is enough already.
Love is forgiving.
In the past,
When I asked for that choice,
You will beg me and all to stay.
I will forgive everything and stay.
Because?
Love is forgiving.
Now,
For once,
You asked for that choice,
I beg you and all to stay.
You are not staying.
You are not forgiving me.
You are not at all.
All you remember is that,
This is the choice you made and you shall not regret.
Why can't you think from another view?
Why not?
Love is forgiving and yes,
You had been very forgiving.
Why not this time?
I am begging you like shit.
I am trying my best at all times.
What did I get?
Everything I did not want.
And most of all,
I did not get your forgiveness.
Seriously,
I already do not know anymore.
All I hope for is your forgiveness,
Is it that hard?
Is it that hard to do so?
I thought Love is strong to overcome everything.
That is what I thought.
Love is so strong that nothing can beat it.
Now,
You are showing that you are fighting.
But?
What is the outcome?
I really do not know anymore.
I don't want to know the outcome anymore.
I don't want to know it ANYMORE!
Since you are treating me this way,
I think,
Things stays this way is better in many ways ba.
I think even if you read this,
You will just hack care!
You will just hack care and be even more glad.
So glad that I had stop forcing you to try.
Finally you get to give up totally.
I think that is how you feel.
You don't even bother to keep some time for me.
So what more?
I was so looking forward to going out as usual.
Every saturday.
I was looking damn forward.
What did I get in the end?
A whole big bucket of ice water.
That is all I get.
Perfect!
I am so touched for giving me a second chance,
And pour a few Litres of ICE WATER on me.
I am so touched for giving me a second chance,
And neglect me like nobody business.
I am so touched for giving me a second chance,
And not keeping what you insisted.
I am so touched!
I wanted to do something so much.
I wanted to be there for you so much.
I wanted to be.
I wanted to keep my promises so much.
I wanted your forgiveness so much.
I wanted to have company so much.
End up?
I am destroying myself with all that.
Seriously,
Where is the confident anne?
Where is the anne who said so confidently,
"with my calibre, I can find someone who can accept me whole heartedly."
Seriously,
If you cannot accept me anymore,
Its ok.
There are so many people out there in the world.
Why do I need to cry so much?
You yourself was once attracted to my calibre.
Substaining and improving that,
Why can't I find someone else?
Like the grass story.
Yes,
This time I lost the grass.
This time I left it there.
However,
I tried to cover it from rain and shine.
I tried so hard.
What did I get?
Making myself fall ill.
You said you threw the grass away already.
Now you are looking for it.
Why are you so unsure?
You said 90-10.
So if this is how you treat someone with 10,
I rather be your friend.
At least I am treated better as your friend.
At least I won't get neglected.
At least I won't get thrown away.
I am utterly sad.
I do not know how I feel now.
I really do not know already.
Waiting for you is like waiting for a rain in a drought. Useless and disappointing.The Cinderella Story;
Hopeless hope.
"They have no rights, They have no say. And they long to be free one day"
Don't this sentence rings any bell?
Now that is delicated to me.
I have no rights.
I have no say.
And I long to be free one day.
I hate dangling in the middle.
Anyway,
I am seriously going home soon.
Ha!
I was thinking about that problem again.
This time,
I am deadly sure,
99.9999999999999% it will not change.
Why?
No message,
No calls,
No notes.
Seriously,
Machiam quiet.
Think only I am fan.
People are also not fan.
I fan so much for what?
Peope don't make an effort,
I make so much effort to think for what?
My cousin hopes that things turn out well,
I hope so too.
But people are not giving me the chance to act as a natural person.
Now is machiam like,
"Give me some time to think first."
Just that this got time span.
Machiam asking me to wait.
It reminds me of someone else.
Ask me to wait indirectly.
And what am I waiting for?
Nothing?!
When the time is up,
What will happen?
Not sure!
Will anything miracle happen?
I don't wish miracle happen.
But it might happen this case.
Well,
That is the situation.
This time,
In this situation,
Ask me to wait indirectly.
Wait for what?
Wait to re shuffle feelings and thoughts.
When the time is up,
What will happen?
Negative feedback.
Will miracle happen?
I wish got miracle.
But most probably don't have.
Shucks!
Why the one I wanted miracle don't happen?
The one I don't want will happen?
Idiot!~
I really have a very bad feeling.
A very bad one.
I feel so like stabbing my heart so it will stop feeling.
**Stab stab stab**
I'm heartless now.
It stop bleeding already.
Though I have thought through already,
I still wish to have Selective Memory Loss,
Or Lacunar Amnesia.
At least I won't be thinking about it now.
Well,
If I get into an accident,
Then,
Things will get clearer right?!
So means,
If I get into an accident,
Things will be settled!
Yes,
That is it!
If I get into an accident,
If concern,
Good news.
If no feeling,
Bad news.
Simple.
Perfectly simple task.
It is so easy to get into an accident!~
LOL!
Grace,
can you hit my head?!
And I hit yours for you?
So we both can forget about what happen.
I am looking for a scientist.
So he can cut off the hippocampus and amygdala.
So I will loss the memory of that event.
So I loss everything of what is happening between you and me.
They say,
We need to block the chemical reaction.
Now there.
What chemical reaction is it?
How to block it?
I seriously need to block it.
Or should I actually block the other person's?
I just make that person think of the event,
Then block it.
Then~
ZAPP!!
Whatever happen is gone.
Whatever that the person is worrying is gone.
Then,
Happily ever after!
Wooosh!
I want to do so! =D
So bad!
Go off comp already.
Bye~
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