My Life, My Blog

PM: ps i love u =D ``depress + depress + more depress.. nt in the mood for anything..

Today is a long day. I had many things to hand in today, MI mini project due today, MI mini project report, BSPA lab test, BSPA Final Test. I felt very unwell too. I was suffering the whole time in school, suffering from the pain of stomach cramp. So there are so many things on.

Early in the morning, I went to school to do MI mini project. After so many millions of hours I spent on my mini project, nothing had come out. There are 3 parts to my project, IA, HPF and LPF. Yes, on the first day of the project, I manage to get my LPF out and finally, one out of 3 is done.

On my second week of my project, I tried to get HPF and yes, after millions of try, nothing came out. So Wen Bin and I decided to separate job and I will do the IA. Finally, IA is done! So happy! Many weeks, the circuit come and goes. I did not get a result as expected.

At this very last week, my IA is working perfectly, my LPF too. I am so happy that both of it works. Well, stucked with HPF for millions of weeks and seriously, it is getting no where far. And then, it reaches the stage where Mr. Foo asked me to give up on my HPF and fine, I shall just give up on it. I really had no idea how to go about doing it already.

Today, early morning, I went to do MI mini project. I wanted to study BSPA however; MI project needed more attention at that time. Fine, I got along doing it. Everything was fine and going well. Then, it was BSPA lab test. I manage to get it all right and done. So happy and glad.

I was suffering from the painful stomach cramp and thus, my moral and mood was very low. I went to do MI lab. I tried to combine the IA and LPF. By right it suppose to work. However, it did not. So I tested the IA alone and I think it is the machine problem, the answer it gave me was totally diffferent from what I got in the morning.

I change from machine to machine and yes, I got it again. Time was ticking and I wanted to study BSPA as I am having my final paper later. Just then, when I wanted to show Mr. Foo my circuit (which was working at individual parts) it fails me again. Seriously, what is wrong?

Time was flying pass and seriously, I felt damn stress up and damn depress. Finally, I broke down in front of Wan Sin and Li Chao. It is the second time I broke down in class due breadboarding circuit.

For this two times it was when I tried many times on the same circuit, connecting it again and again; I finally did not get it. I was depressed and all stress up, and finally leading to break down.

After MI lab was BSPA final test. Yes, I had my mood brought forward to BSPA and I did not even have last min reading before I start my BSPA paper. Wen Bin sat in front of me and asked me what happen and how was MI lab. I told him and then, I was in tears. Seriously, I need to control my tears.

When I am given the paper, I started writing UNWILLINGLY. My penmanship was totally like rubbish. I flip open the cover page and yes; nothing came into my filled-with-MI mind. 4 simple questions which are exactly similar to our lecture notes which I studied so hard since last night till then. I did all the questions found in the lecture notes again and again. End up; when I receive the paper, all that was flowing in my mind was MI, MI and more MI!

I wanted to hand in blank paper however; I cannot let Raj or Kanna down. So I tried to scribble some not really readable and small words. I know for sure it is wrong, however, I was totally in a wrong mood to do anything. Half way through the paper, I was in tears again. All I wanted was to just leave the place and go home.

Very soon, I left the room and I saw Justin. He asked me about the paper and yes, I talk to him until I tears again. I know it is like tap water running non-stop. I wanted to stop but I cannot. Then, I went to the library and visited the toilet and start crying like nobody business. All the tears drop and roll down.

Yes, I know I should control and control. However, I could not. I saw Han Song and friends, told them what happen and yes, cried again! (I wonder where I get so many tears) I went to the bus stop with them, took the same bus as Han Song and then cried on the bus again. if I were to accumulate, I think I can get fill more than a 500ml bottle.

I went to eat with Han Song at Toa Payoh and then, we went back home respectively. Subha talked to me and then, I was crying again. I decided to give up on MI mini project. 12% gone for nothing. Yes, I still have tomorrow, however; it is too depressing for me to do anymore on MI already. it had already cause my BSPA to drop grade.

I was pinning hope on BSPA to pull up my grade. End up; it is just some wishful thinking of mine. BSPA is another borderline pass module already. It is finalise already. No more A for BSPA. Fantastic! A more depressing matter for me to cry on. There goes my grade. Well done Anne!

Despress + depress. Seriously I will suffer from depression.

P.S. Justin, thanks for the heart-warming message, it was really sweet of you. I will take care =D

P.S. Han Song, thanks for accompanying me. Thanks for cheering me up too. Thanks a lot. Really needed all that at that time. Thanks =D

P.S. Subha, thanks for the talk with me. Though it did not lead far, I still want to thank you so much for listening to my complains.

P.S. Wen Bin, I am ubber sorry for giving up hope on MI mini project. It is my fault for making you lose 12% of overall. Ubber sorry!

P.S. Jolene, thanks for your listening ear. I am thankful. Thanks so much.

P.S. Xue Zhen, Li Chao, Stella, Jolene, thanks for helping me pack my bag just now. Did not want to enter the room with tears. Thanks!!