HELLO!!! MY BLOG HAS MOVED TO

http://wxyanne.wordpress.com/

SINCE 09 MAY 2010!

PLEASE RELOCATED THE URL =D

I need some emotional control. I am not controlling my emotion lately. I kept losing control and poor people around me are getting it from me. I throw temper, I cry and I just lose my eq power. What is wrong with me?

And obviously, AAA have got it rather badly. Well, it is because of BBB, who is getting up my nerve, and I just threw it on AAA. I felt so bad throwing it on AAA but seems like it is a irreversible process.

There are many things I don’t understand. Why does some people claim something but shows another? Why is it so hard to make some decision? Don’t people know that by dragging your decision, it cause more trouble to others? Obviously, I am totally affected by it.

Sometimes, some things just bring me back to remember what happened in the past. I can’t help but kept thinking what happen before. I want to get out of the ‘shadow’ but I can’t get out of it! Why is that so? Why can’t I just get a lacunar amnesia and choose who and what to forget?

I feel so bad having to throw it on AAA but seriously, BBB is just getting up my nerve. Oh well, I took a no turning back step and there is no way I can turn back now. Maybe all these are fated. I cannot do anything about it because I am the one who cause all these. So now I can only see what AAA wants to do.

Since I have taken that “no turning back” step, I can only move forward and stop thinking what if. The more “what if” I imagine inside my head, the more hurt and regret I felt. I will just lose control of my own emotions again and call AAA and pester.

I should not be selfish. It is very bad that I kick AAA away when I am pissed off and pull AAA back when I am ok. AAA have been very kind with me already but I am still being so bad as a friend. I am taking it for granted. XXX is right, I should be more appreciative of others.

Sometimes, I wish some things are clear and some things guessable. And I can see, it is hard to predict the story plot because I am not a director nor script writer. I am guess what AAA will do about us but seems like it is opposite of what I am guessing. I need a mind-reader.

I wanted to look for someone to talk about these but I really can’t find anyone to talk to. I need someone to talk to me and not throw in blog.

What I need now is the “get over it” phase. I need a ‘melting’ point to reach alpha only stage. I should stop thinking of going back to beta only stage. Now, I am at alpha + beta stage. And seriously, it sucks to be in alpha + beta stage. I need to get over to alpha as soon as possible.

I have no one to blame if AAA is out of my life. I can only blame myself for my unreasonable-ness, irrational-ness and doing things without thinking. I want to blame BBB for getting up my nerve but, I can only blame myself for pushing the irritation to AAA.

It is over, there is nothing I can do about this my friend. I don’t think you want to even hear from me. So yes, I’d get over and stop hoping “what if” happens.

I need the rain to cover my tears.

If you can’t live up to your promise, don’t give any promise.