Today, went out with Joseph. Yes, after I blog just now, I left house and went out to Toa Payoh interchange to meet up with Joseph. Joseph is late, as usual. Then we headed down to Orchard Cineleisure for lunch! Yes, we went to have sushi buffet!

We were queuing up and the queue is quite long. We spent quite some time waiting. Well, buffet you see~ Ok, after waiting, finally it is OUR turn. So we had our lunch. Yes, the usual few dishes. Yummy! The food is nice and I do miss my times at sushi buffet! It had been AGES since I had sushi =)

After sushi, we went to Hereen to shop. Then went to Paragon and headed down to Takashimaya after which. We were shopping and yes, Joseph bought himself a pair of flip flops. His slippers had spoil and yes, he bought a pair. There is some sales down at Takashimaya. Yes.

I bought somethings too. I bought 2 basic tees (for now). I am going to replace it with my polo tees. I was telling Joseph that I want to get 5 basic tees because you know, Monday to Friday. Haha! How stupid of me.

After which, we travel down to Toa Payoh and shop around. Then we went to the library. After the visit to the library, I accompanied Joseph to wait for his parents to come. Then I walked home from the library. When I reach home, Anna was feeding Kaiden. Yawn! I started playing with Kaitlyn.

I on my favourite emotional song, 我的快乐, and Kaitlyn came running to me and asking me if this is the xinyi song. OMG! She actually knows it. Then I asked her do she know who xinyi is and she actually said "yes. She wear specs and have long hair. She wear yellow shirt." Haha! In the song, she did wear a yellow blouse. Haha!

My happiness...
..Once again! Again and again! This is the I-do-not-know-how-many-times this week. I am
..totally sian of everyday routine! Every single day, Monday to Saturday. So are we giving a
..break on Sunday? Are we? I am too sick and tired of all these non-stop routine. I hate
..this routine!
..
..Last time, everytime I think of -, I will end up smiling and feeling so stupid of myself. Now, it
..is totally different. Everytime I think of -, I just find myself thinking of the stupid old routine.
..Last time, everytime I think of going out, I will be thinking how enjoyable it would be.
..Now, instead of how enjoyable, all I can think of is how we would discuss wat time to go
..home the moment we meet. Sian-sation.
..
..Do something, do something, do something! Why does it works on you and does not
..works on me?! Why when you say "do something", it works perfectly? Why is it when I say
.."do something", you just will not let me go? Why is that so?! I hate it! I hate it!!
..
..What is wrong wrong wrong?! For this whole week, it becomes a must to dehydrate before I
..can go to bed. It became a MUST! Why is that so? Monday night, Tuesday night,
..Wednesday night, Thursday night, Friday night. Every single night. I think tonight, I am
..going to do so too already. I guess, need not be the night, I already did. So much for
..dehydration.
..
..Yesterday night, it is another torturing session alone. Why is happening? I do not know
..either. I just stare at my phone. I stare and stare. Gradually, tears roll and roll. One by one.
..Then it became non-stop. I tried to stop but it came down like some unknown tap. Is it that
..hard to even type something and press the send button? Is it that hard? I guess it is just very
..hard. Extremely hard to do so.
..
..Forget it. Tonight is another night. As usual, sorry is the word. Every sorry seems so hurtful.
..Every sorry is like needle. Every sorry is the key to opening the tap again and again. Why
..did it all lead to this? Why did it reach a part like this? Why is that? I hate having to hug
..teddyand just sob through the night.
..
..Feels like you are just wanting me to not go out with friends isn't it? You just kept
..complaining and complaining about it. So it is wrong to go out with male friends?
..
..No need to care about you? Is that what you really want it to be? I remember someone once
..told me there are somethings which we cannot try. So since you ask me to not care about
..you, I guess I'd bid by the rules quietly. Now, one more items on the list, I need not care
..about you.
..
..You promise that you will not nag at me anymore. Anyways, this is not the first time you said
..so. Now you say if you were to nag at me, I can scold you or whatsoever. Now now, you
..are asking me to scold you. Long time ago, you told me that you do not like your girlfriend
..to beat or scold you. You do not like some 'da jie da' girlfriend. Now you are asking me
..to scold you. So what is this? Fine, add on to the terms and conditions.
..
..Let's play according to the rules. No no, should be me playing according to the rules and
..you set the rules. From now on, I shall follow whatever you say. One day, it will reach the
..end. Throw the dice and I shall move. The game might be on going. Or maybe, it will end
..one fine day. I do not know. Just keep throwing the dice and move. Whichever spot I land
..on, I will read the instructions and follow. Simple.
..
..Ok, the next rule is that you will be jealous. Starting, you said you will not. So
..there is a change of rule. I better remember this change of rule. You will be jealous.
..Yes. I need to remember this.
..
..Ok, now you are saying that it is ME who do not care and not because you told me not to.
..So to you, I do not care. So to you, I feel irritated and cannot be bothered to talk to you.
..So to you, you are an extra. Ok, so this is where you see yourself in me. Ok then, this
..is the next term and I shall follow it.
..
..The instruction for now is to listen. And promise not to keep asking you to stay at home.
..Ok, this is the next instruction and I promise you. So another term on the list: Do not ask
..you to go home or ask you to stay at home.
..
.."You can ignore this useless boyfriend of yours." This is what you, the master of the game,
..said. So yes, I shall follow. Ignore!
..
..You know where you stand? Really? There is nothing for me to clarify either. Since you say
..so, I will follow. Since you feel that there is where you stand, ok, I will try to follow and
..let you stand there. Simple as that.
..
..Is history repeating itself? Maybe it is..
..
..I guess I need to be mentally prepared. I need to do some adjustment from this moment on.
Will it be back?~

Just another same night!

Yawn! I spend the whole morning sleeping and when I wake up, I went to bathe and start laptop cleaning session again. Wow! My laptop is like NEW. Yay! My beloved lappy!

I used the vacuum cleaner to vacuum the dust in between the keyboard. I used a wet cloth to clean the dust off the outer layer. I used some cleaning device to clean the laptop screen. Then lastly, I spend a long time polishing the place around the keyboard. Now it is metalic green instead of the dirty green in the past! Yay!

I should have taken a picture of my 'before' and 'after' laptop. Haha! I am too bored ok! I even went to clean my adaptor and wires! Yawn!! Clean clean clean!

Ok, it is time to do some rampaging to my wardrobe. Finally, I am going to ditch all the old polo tee and look for some new tee to replace. LOL! My polo tee had been there since poly year 1! I have 6 polo tee and I took turns to wear it everyday to school. Haha!

Now now, my polo tee is like 2 years odd old and it is time to change~ Haha! I am going to keep some clothes that I seldom wear so there will not be so many 'taken' hanger. Mummy is complaining about the hangers going missing! LOL!

It is not my fault! Even drew drew have more clothes than I do and yet, mummy do not nag him for occupying so many hangers. Mummy kept nagging me that I should not buy so many clothes, keep those seldom-wear clothes. Well, if she really were to go and count, drew drew and angie have more clothes than I do!

Even drew drew says so!

Ok, that is not the main point! The main thing is, mummy just keep nagging at me and not them. That is the main point! Grr!

Ok, I am going out with Joseph today! We are going to do some shopping and get somethings. Muahaha! Ok, why am I so high? I am bored. Ok, I am not meeting up with npy today. Mainly because, npy is not feeling well since yesterday and yes, I am going out with Joseph.

Initally, the plan was to go out with Joseph, npy joins us after his work and we 3 go out dinner. Then I realise that IF npy goes out with us, and assuming from Joseph's pattern, we might head home quite late and judging from the distance between npy's place and my place, he might get home even later. Yes! Inference~

So yes, I shall let npy go home and rest while I go out with Joseph. Since I am meeting up with him tomorrow, it is better for him to rest. =) Tomorrow will be a LONG LONG day and yes, LONG I mean. Haha!

Yawn! So many things on!

Sunday - morning go out, afternoon chalet, at night come home.
Monday - morning lecture by mr. foo, afternoon napfa training, at night at home.
Tuesday - morning bme committee meeting, afternoon photo taking, at night at home.
Wednesday - morning vpp, afternoon napfa training, at night at home.

Yawnn~~

It is Friday again! It is the second week of VPP and this means, next week is week 3. VPP is a 6 weeks thing and 2 weeks have gone already! Soon will be first review and poof! School will start. So sian! I miss DSO!

In the morning as usual, I went to school via bus and saw my friend again! I am like suffering from backache while on the bus. My back is aching like I-do-not-know-what. Pain!

I am early (as usual). So I started doing Matlab and yes! Tiring tiring tiring! I had been doing Matlab the whole day and I am dying! Yawn! I was looking at phones online in the morning. I want to change phone! =)

During lunch time, I went to gym orientation with Nicky and cq! We went to walk around and then headed to the canteen for lunch. After lunch, I was chatting with uncle and Stella at the corridor. Stella's laptop crash and the acer engineer came down to repair her laptop.

After school, initially, was supposed to go exercise with uncle, Jolene, Stella and Jackie. Due to some unforeseen reasons, I did not join them. In the end, I went out and meet up with npy. I was supposed to go down Clementi to meet him but yes, thanks for being slowpoke, he came and meet me.

We headed down to town and had dinner. Well, the venue sucks for today. The place is super noisy and there are many irritating fellows over there. I seriously do not like them. They are acting so idiotic and act like some stupid ah bengs! Irritating!

Never mind~ After dinner, I accompany him to get present for his nephew. After getting present, we headed home. I doze off on the bus and by the time I wake up, I missed the stop that I am supposed to get down. So I walked back home from the next bus stop.

While on my way home, I saw Janet! OMG! She is my secondary school senior. When I am in secondary 1, she is in secondary 4. That means she is 3 years older than me. It had been 3 years since I last saw her. Ok, I remember her name. It had been 6 years since we last met and.... She remembers my name! OMG!

Ok, then I walked home. While on my way home, I saw this old lady who looks so scary! Ok, she has long hair, then she is stand on the road when there are many cars. She is old and worst of all, I did not see her shadow. Sian! Maybe it is that the light did not shine on her so there is no shadow. Ok, regardless what it is, she is still eerie.

When I reach home, as usual, I called npy and chatted with him. Yawn! I am tired.

Randomly, my brother came talking to me. My brother's friend's grandfather is the CEO of Sincere Fine Watch Company! OMG! He just went for a chalet yesterday with his poly friends. Having to be in the business Accountancy, they went to calculate his friend's grandfather asset. Just by putting in the bank, every year his grandfather would get an interest of $9 million!

His friend's grandfather is so damn freaking rich that his friend can just wear a freaking $13k for a formal presentation. Freaker! Then his grandfather stays in 6th Avenue. His aunt stays at 6th Avenue and so is his friend and relatives. I think his grandfather can own the whole corner of 6th Avenue.

Why is he so damn rich?! Wearing a freaking $13k watch and act as if it is some $10 watch! Sian! I wear my $58 watch and a simple scratch, I will feel so heartache. Grr! Damn! $13k!!

I realise regardless which ship it is, there are changes to it. It is so different already. It feels so different from the past.

Ship 1: It is so transparent. I think they just bypass me. I think they do not actually care at all. Everyday, it is the same old thing that happened. Yes, misunderstanding is the word. Maybe I am too sensitive or what so ever but, I have been questioned. How can I reply? What can I actually reply?~ I guess I have nothing to reply at all. I just think that it is super different already. Everyone at a corner and people just walk pass. Am I that insignificant? Never mind. I will become more invisible in time to come. I guess now, I am already so translucent. Well, maybe in about 1 or 2 weeks, I am invisible already.

Ship 2: It is so different too. Is it really the matter of time? Why do both starts to get so fed up? Why is it that some words kept coming out like no meaning? It is not like that in the past. I remember what is said. I remember having to feel is better than having to say. I remember how great it is to be felt than told. I remember all those but why is it that I do not feel all these already? I thought it was 2~3 months. In the end, not even 2 months and that is it. How great!

Everyday is the same old day. Most of the days are just go school, ignored and neglected by some and then go home. When reach home, over the phone and then get all emotional. Else it would be go school, ignored and neglected then go out. Go out, dinner and go home. Simple as that.

Every time when I were to think of going out, the next thing I would think of is going home. I would think of time, plan ahead and all. Not like in the past, nothing to worry and just go ahead with whatever I want to do. Now, I do not even wish to think of going out because all that can come to my mind is planning of the time to go home. How great can that be? How ENJOYABLE I am to go out? No mood, so whatever the case is, I just do not want to think anymore.

Regardless which ship it is, this is not the first time already. Why am I still complaining so much?

Ship 1: it had always been like that long ago and there is nothing I can do. Who ask me to be so extra since last time? Whatever is the factor, I am the odd one out. Never mind. Seriously, never mind about it. I should have gotten so neutral over it isn't it? Why do I still feel so bad when I see the problem there? Why do I still feel so irritated when being ignored? Why is it that I rather just keep doing work and ignore what is going on around? Why?!

Ship 2: It is not the first time already. Regardless is it now or last time, it had always been like that. Though many times, there are still disappointment there, what can I say? What can I say? This is not a duty, this is not a chore. The best way of not causing any trouble is to keep quiet. Shh! Smile and be happy. I know that by smiling, it would not be suspicious. Yes, smile and laugh! That is the best way to keep things on going fine.

Actually there are many things that is going on in my mind. Well, I guess I do not know what to say and how to say but seriously, I know that I am tired. I am very tired of thinking and putting up a mask of I-am-not-troubled and I-am-ok. I am not ok at all. However, who actually knows? I guess, I need some time to hibernate from work and ships. I need some time to actually go and do nothing. I need some time on my own. Seriously~

I already do not know what the plan is already. I feel so tired to remember anything. Am I still looking forward to something? I want to close 2 eyes. I want to put all my expectations away. I want to stop hoping something will happen when nothing will happen.

Guess what? I know my phone would start ringing. I know I would be questioned. I know another round of dehydration period. I know all these. I know it would be another round of brain-cells-killing session. I know! But what can I do? I do not know anymore. I do not want to know. All I want is to not know anything and forget. Sadly, I can't...

I want to meditate.

Just ignore what is written below~

Why am I so useless? Why can't I deliver things clearly across? Seriously, what is wrong with me? Why do I feel so like a noob who cannot do anything right? Why do I feel that I am drifting and trying to make a gap to make myself better. Why is it that I will feel hurt and tight that I will push away to prevent feeling that?

Thinking and thinking! Why is it so problematic? Why can't I just stop thinking? Why can't I just follow the flow? Is there something wrong with me? Why did I even sent out the message? Why can't I just keep my mouth shut and stop lying to cover the lies? Why am I such a sucker? Why am I such an idiotic freako?

Does it really matters you do something for me? Does it really matter in anyways? Not at all. Grown ups are what we are! That is like what I said! There is not a need seriously. And do you know, it hurts more having to think that you will do so and in the end, it is all not possible because of other factors?

Seems like it is now all with me, me and me! So now I am torturing myself by keeping quiet. If that is the way it is thought, then go ahead with it. I am torturing myself. I enjoy torturing myself.

You do not understand? You want me to explain? What do you want to explain? Why can't I say everything? Why? I wish I know it too. I seriously wish I know it too. I wish I could bleah everything out! But sadly, when thinking of how apologetic you will be, I decided to forget about it.

Remember, it is in the pre-warning and I actually said ok to it. Yes, since I said ok, I should accept it and not be doing some rubbish things! I am pre-warned! I am and I shall remember the pre-warn! Why did I forget about the terms after I accept it? Now I forget about the terms and who can I blame? It is on the list before accepting it.

I am only making you jumping into conclusion and seriously, what is your conclusion? Since you had a conclusion, then I think I need not explain anymore isn't it? Is there a need for my explanation? Since you already bring it across this way, what more can I say? It is all the fact! These are the facts that you are saying. There is nothing that I can say to explain already.

Why I did not want to say? Why? Simple, all I do not want to have expectation. I do not want to cause trouble and difficulty for you. Is that so difficult? I guess in the end, it is not. I guess in the end, it is just problems and problems! I feel so much like a burden! I guess no other people is as much as a burden as me. Forget it.

I do not know about the day you are looking forward to. What will it be? How will it be? I do not know at all. So what it is like half a day? I guess not much of a 'half day'. I do not know. Just super not looking forward at all! Simple as that! Go is also rushing and rushing. Might as well not go for it. Seriously. Forget it. Since you like it then go ahead with it.

I guess, I should just go back to follow and follow. I do not know what I am doing anymore. I do not know what I have to do either. I already do not know the next step already!

I just want to run away from everything!

Feel like going out..

but...

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

forget it.

开不了口!

算了吧!

算了吧!

算了吧!!

Boohoo! I miss teddy! I had been hugging teddy to sleep lately! Though it is quite small to be 'hugable', I still love talking and playing with teddy. I sound so retard! OMG! Haha!


x__[[Wednesday, August 27, 2008.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEN XI! :)

Coincidentally, I saw Irene on the bus this morning. We took 151 down to NP together. Coincidence! I saw her yesterday on the bus and so did I saw her today. Haha!

When I reach school, I am busy Matlab-ing. I think I slack too much. I totally forgotten that I have BME committee meeting in the late morning. I totally forgotten until Irene mention it.

At 11.15am, we went to have our committee meeting with the year 2s. Instead of starting at 11.15am sharp, most of them are late and in the end, we started at 11.30am. The meeting ended at 12.15pm. OMG! That is so fast! Ok, there are a lot to catch up from where Harry left off.

After which, Irene and I started typing our minutes for the meeting, doing up the contact list and all. Tired! Then we went to look for Mr. Foo (the advisor for BME committee). Having to know Mr. Foo, we chatted from 12 plus pm to 3 plus pm. OMG! Mr. Foo said that he knew nothing about what is going on and of course, I have to ask him for many permission grants.

I showed him the BME shirt design and his response is like "no". Ok, then Mr. Foo told us to consult Mr. Chee too. Ok, after consulting, FAILED! Then we even consulted Mr. Chua K.P. and Dr. Raj. All said no! OMG! Then Irene and I have to think of something too.

In the end, we came up with a simple design and with the help of Stella, we managed to find a simple logo. Yes! OMG! I am so tired after staring at the photoshop and editing the pictures! Tired!!

Imagine, I am so busy and talking to lecturers and doing the logo that I did not have my lunch! By the time I realise, it is already 4 plus pm! Then I did not have breakfast because I came school a little late too. So in the end, I did not have breakfast and lunch! Hungry + tired!

While doing BME committee things, I have to keep asking Wen Bin to do his Matlab too. Sian to the max! I am super tired! OMG! I am super duper uper tired! Why is there so many things to catch up just by attending one simple short meeting? I am dying! Grr!

After school, Irene and I took bus home together. How great! We came to school together and go home together. LOL! While on the bus, I think both of us killed too many brain cells that both of us are having headache! Haha!

On my way home, I got giddy and hungry and tired! My throat is painful and the best of all, I am having headache and alone! Grr! Then mummy suddenly called to tell me that she is not cooking. How great! I am all hungry and tired and now, mummy tells me that she is going out with daddy. Sian!

Npy is busy too and so, I went to get breakfast cum lunch cum dinner alone. I am so tired that I so do not want to take my breakfast cum lunch cum dinner. Imagine if I do not get my dinner, I think npy would kill me! Haha!

It was only 6 plus and I am having my meals! Tired to the max! I was so tired that I actually almost doze off. After dinner, I packed a little of my BME committee things and then started Matlab-ing at home! Yawn!

At 9 odd pm, Mdm Tan actually sent me an email with regards to IBN open house and asking me if I want to hold the event. Sian to the max! I hate it so much. Grr! I thought I can finally rest but in the end, I still have to think and do all the necessary emails.

Then I went to sleep after chatting with npy. Teddy! Home alone! Mummy and daddy went out. Drew Drew went chalet and only be back tomorrow. Angie jie jie went out after coming home to change. Home alone with Teddy!! =)


x__[[Thursday, August 28, 2008.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHI YING! :)

Another birthday girl in August! So many birthday pals in August! Oh yes, I bought something online again. This time, $9 gone for good.

I think it is time for me to get a jacket before Cheng Qian kills me! Haha! For these period of time in VPP, I had been wearing Cheng Qian's jacket because the aircon is like blowing cold air. Haha! Cheng Qian is not cold but I am cold so he do not let me change the temperature of the aircon. Grr!

While taking bus to school, I saw my friend. She is from the same tuition as me in the past and she is also a leader in NDP! Coincident! She is the leader for F1 and when Matthew quit NDP last minute, she became the leader for F2 too. She is studying in NUS now. OMG!

Then I came for VPP and I saw Jermaine. We came to BME centre together and have chatted for awhile. Today, Wen Xiong and Harry left Singapore for Germany for their overseas IAP. OMG! I want to go~~ I am glad that I did not go OIAP too. Else I might cry so hard! LOL!

Ok, I am now slacking and blogging! I am utterly bored!!

Oh yes, Sheena is back from Hong Kong! Whoo! Npy must be so happy because his beloved Sheena is back from her 5 days trip. Npy was saying that I am so heartless because I did not call her the day before she left Singapore for HK. Grr! Ok, now Sheena is back and npy is happy! No more PMS from npy! Haha!

Tonight, mummy is not cooking again! Ok, should I ask npy dinner with me? Hmm.. Do not know! For some reason, I just do not want to disturb him. Ok, forget it~ I stay too far! hahahaha!

184 days since Mas Selamat bin Kastari left~ Ok, this is random~

It is Tuesday again! I am actually started blogging during VPP =) See, I am so free! Did I mention that Wen Bin is back for VPP? Finally I am not doing VPP alone (though it is like I am doing alone still). Haha! Yesterday was my 19 birthday! =D


x__[[Sunday, August 24, 2008.

At night, when I am going to sleep, I am packing up and going to sleep soon. Then my kapo drew drew come and disturb me, asking me what is my attire that I am going to wear with the skirt.

Then I showed him and he started to ask me to change out to show him. Ok, I went to change and showed him. He started commenting how kiddo I look in that. So I changed out my top and wear a formal top with the skirt. Drew drew and I keep feeling that there is something missing but we do not know what is missing.

Drew drew asked me to wear a scarf but sadly, I do not have! Then ask me to wear a tie and sadly again, I do not have. Then I remembered that I have GB tie and he asked me to wear. Whoo! Everything is nice. Then I asked him about the shoes and then he shook his head so hard! He wanted me to wear the 2 and half inch shoes but it is a little too high to wear to school. So forget it!

Ok, I changed out and then change, change, change and by the time we reaches with a common attire, it is already 2.30am! Drew drew was commenting how little clothes I have and how pathetic my shoes are! He started pondering how come mummy always complain that I have many clothes when he have more clothes than I do. XD

Tired!!! Sleeping at 2.30am!!


x__[[Monday, August 25, 2008.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! :)

It is my 19th birthday today and it is my LAST year as teen. It is time to grow up. Seriously! I better enjoy now before it is too late to enjoy! Days are getting more and more stressful, work is piling higher and higher. OMG! Tiring!

Early morning, at 5.30am, I woke up and called npy! He have to wake up at that time as he have to go down to the company by 8am. Having to sleep at 2.30am, waking up at 5.30am is like a tiring matter for me! Yet, I still woke up. Yawn!

Then I was made to go back to sleep and woke up at about 7am for VPP. I am supposed to reach school at 8am to meet uncle for breakfast. In the end, I overslept and woke up at 7.10am. Then I rush out of the house to reach NP at about 8.30am. Then I went to have breakfast.

Cheng Qian came over and join uncle and I for breakfast. Then Cheng Qian pass me the present that Nicholas Tang, Jermaine and him shared money to get. They bought a mouse for me! And that mouse is the same mouse that Wan Sin has! OMG! Coincidence!

P.S. cq, fishy, jerm.. thanks so much for the mouse! i like it a lot =D

After breakfast, I came back and started my VPP. Wen Bin is here and then I helped him with some briefing of the project. Afterwhich, I continue Matlab-ing! Yawn! It is such a chore to do Matlab!

Today, the whole year project students are back and the whole place suddenly becomes so packed and there are so many people. And of course, the whole place becomes so noisy. Well, even before the whole year students come back, the whole place is quite noisy already. And when they are back, it is even noisier! OMG!

During lunch, I went to Bukit Timah Plaza with Jolene, Wan Sin, Stella, David, Jackie and Zhi Yuan. We went to KFC for lunch! I buddy-ed with Jackie! Haha! Then they started talking about Napfa and seriously, I feel so sian about it. I do not know to run or not to run. If I want to run, I would start going to train! Else, I will just forget it. Haha! I'd consider about it then~

After lunch, at 2pm, I had BME committee meeting with the Year 3s only. As the batch of Year 3s are new to the committee, I have to give them some briefing and outline of the committee stuff. Actually, I am new to the committee too. LOL! Then we crap and laugh so much! OMG! Ok, we are holding a meeting on Wednesday! Sian! I am scared actually!

Ok, I was doing the template for the minutes and agenda after the meeting. Irene and I were doing and doing until it is time to leave for home. I had to 'hunt' their student name and email. Super tiring! I had to type out the whole contact list and think of the agenda. **faint**

After school, I went down to Clementi to wait for npy. Npy reaches at about 6.30pm. I waited for nearly 1 hour. Then npycame and pass me my present! =) It is the teddy that I saw at Bugis! OMG! I was merely mentioning that the teddy is cute and this dumbo bought it for me. I kept playing with teddy and as usual, I started taking tons of picture of teddy.

Then we took bus down to Suntec City. While on the bus, I doze off and when I woke up, npy was trying to get me to 'see' the present that is in the paper bag. After playing with teddy, I finally saw the present and yes, it is a wallet from him =) That was the wallet that I mention it is nice so yes. Thanks thanks!

We headed down to Changing Appetites for dinner. It is my first time down to CA for dinner. Ok, the food is not bad and quite nice =D However, npy do not like the Say Cheese! Fish and Chips. He says that it is too oily.

After eating, we took bus back home already. Both of us are too tired and sleepy already. While on the bus, the two of us actually doze off. Npy was holding on to the presents for me and we woke up due to the dropping the present upon dozing off. We got down at Novena and then took cab home.

When I reach home, I was taking photo of the presents and opening the presents! Besides the mouse from cq, fishy and jerm, the wallet and teddy from npy, Stella gave me 2 pairs of earring and uncle gave me a moo moo photo frame.

Thanks all those who gave me presents! I like the presents lots!! Thanks!!

And I would like to thanks those who wished me happy birthday! Haha! Some super random people who actually wished me happy birthday was Emile! OMG! He is super random and seriously, I am touched that he remembers my birthday!

Joseph sent me birthday wishes at 08.25pm. I was joking and asking him why isn't it 0825? Haha! I know that that will NEVER happen because he will be SLEEPING like a pig at that time. LOL! If he can wakes up at 12pm on holiday, it is something so 'miracle'! Haha!

THANKS EVERYONE! **huggies!!**


x__[[Tuesday, August 26, 2008.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUMEI! :)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YU JUN! :)


I am so tired yesterday that I slept the moment I reach home and bathe. Early morning, I woke up and saw Feng Tianwei, Li Jia Wei and Wang Yue Gu on Zao An Ni Hao! Ok, thanks to that, I am late for school! Haha! I left house late and blah blah.

I saw Henrietta on the bus. We chatted from Jalan Toa Payoh down to NP. She headed off for NUS while I got down at NP. Then I saw Hui Shan on 151 too. I saw Irene, who is going off to school, and we walked from NP bus stop down to Block 8. Yawn!

During VPP, I was photo scaping and at the same time, I was busy Matlab-ing. I was so bored and I kept photoscaping and I am so sleepy at the same time! Yawn! I went down to Alumni for lunch. It is tiring to walk all the way up seriously!

After going to Alumni, I came back and continue doing Matlab! I must really start doing something before I am turned off! I was told that first review is on week 3, which is next week. Sian to the max!

Some thoughts came to my mind and suddenly I feel so sian about it. Seriously, what can I do? I think there is nothing that I can do about it. Grr! Just thinking of it is so turned off! Grr! What can i do? **knock head**

Tomorrow is another day of Matlab! Yawn!! Haha!

Yummy yummy! The drink is nice! It is chocolate with ice cream~ Hmmm!

Teddy! =]

Haha! Ok, I am zhi lian~ =X

The presents I received! The card is from uncle and stella. Thanks everyone~
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trait snapshot:

depressed, introverted, neat, needs things to be extremely clean, observer, perfectionist, not self revealing, does not make friends easily, suspicious, irritable, hates large parties, follows the rules, worrying, does not like to stand out, fragile, phobic, submissive, dislikes leadership, cautious, takes precautions, focuses on hidden motives, good at saving money, solitary, familiar with the dark side of life, hard working, emotionally sensitive, prudent, altruistic, heart over mind, unadventurous

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality test by similarminds.com

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.


You are The Lovers


Motive, power, and action, arising from Inspiration and Impulse.


The Lovers represents intuition and inspiration. Very often a choice needs to be made.


Originally, this card was called just LOVE. And that's actually more apt than "Lovers." Love follows in this sequence of growth and maturity. And, coming after the Emperor, who is about control, it is a radical change in perspective. LOVE is a force that makes you choose and decide for reasons you often can't understand; it makes you surrender control to a higher power. And that is what this card is all about. Finding something or someone who is so much a part of yourself, so perfectly attuned to you and you to them, that you cannot, dare not resist. This card indicates that the you have or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing that you will fall in love with. You will know instinctively that you must have this, even if it means diverging from your chosen path. No matter the difficulties, without it you will never be complete.


What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

It is my LAST day of 18~ I shall blog before turnning 18 =)


x__[[Friday, August 22, 2008.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIONEL! :)

OMG, so many people are turning 19 in August! Sian sian! I am turning 19 in August too! Haha! Ok, that is not the main point seriously.

In the morning, there are some visitors coming down to BME centre. They are from Shanghai! OMG! CKP is incharge of bringing them around. So last minute, he is over there thinking of the script! He came into room 4 and started his Chinese talk! He start asking about some Chinese terms.

Ok, imagine mentioning "defibrillation" in Chinese. Ok, it is so chim! Then Zhi Yuan, Cheng Qian and I started using translator and look for the word in Chinese. Afterwhich, Yang Fang came to help telling us the meaning and pronouncing the word for us. Haha! Just a couple of Shanghai visitor and we are all working so hard in translating.

Today, it is the LAST day of paper for those who are having attachment in Semester 2. They came down to the project room for briefing on their attachment. Ok, so odd to see them again. The whole room 4 is filled with them! OMG!

In the morning, there is a quarter final match for table tennis and I was watching the results LIVE on the internet. Ok, exciting! It is exciting to watch the results. Imagine trying to refresh the page again and again to catch up with the score! OMG! I am so hooked to table tennis! Haha!

I went for lunch down at Alumni with fishy, Cheng Qian, Jolyn's brother, Gary and David. We went to Alumni to meet up with Wan Sin. OMG! So long time did not see her already and we start to les together. LOL!

After lunch, Wan Sin left for CCA while I went back BME centre with the rest. Then I started Matlab-ing again! Sian sian! I am so sian of matlab already! Yawn! Just like me getting so sian of VB! Haha! However, after some time, when I start doing 'miracles' with VB, I like VB. Haha! So I shall wait till I do 'miracle' with Matlab. Haha!

Then in the evening, I was chatting with uncle zhiyuan outside girls' toilet. Haha! I was on my way to the washroom and I saw him and we started chatting. LOL! After chatting, I left school and headed down to Suntec City alone.

I went down to Suntec City and met up with npy. We went dinner at the food court and then went shopping around. I got emotional and then we are stucked at some place for quite some time. After which, we left and then had Anderson Ice cream! I was telling npy that it is my FIRST time eating Anderson ice cream =)

Then we walked down to Flyer area and decided to go and catch the fireworks! =) The tree blocked my view. Even so, the fireworks are nice. Did not take many pictures though. In the end, we took 56 back home.

Suddenly we feel so lucky that we did not buy the tickets to attend the fireworks festival. We saw the number of people coming out without GOOD ushering, the whole place is a jam and cannot move. Suddenly I feel my importance and I did a great job during NDP. Hahaha!

Then I headed home while npy went home.


x__[[Saturday, August 23, 2008.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JING KAI! :)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAISY! :)

Early morning, I went out to meet up with npy. I am very late because my feet was hurting and I have to go home and change into sandals.

I went to the interchange to meet up npy and then we headed down to Bugis. We walked around and then went looking around at the phones. Then we headed to eat cai fan! The food is nice =) After which, we continue walking around.

Then we headed down to Millenia Walk and then stayed there for awhile. At 4 plus pm, I headed home because npy had something on the following morning and he has to go home early.

I slept quite early that night! I had dinner at home. So after talking to npy for awhile, at 10 odd, I went to bed.

At about 9pm, I saw the fireworks (again). I took quite a number of pictures.


x__[[Sunday, August 24, 2008.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUYNH!:)

For the whole Sunday, I am rotting + rotting + rotting! In the morning, I was waiting for npy to call me. While waiting, I was nua-ing on my bed.

I nap in the afternoon and when I wake up, it is already 5 plus pm~ Yawn!

I was chatting about BME committee just now online. Sian sian! A lot of not comfirmed things! Sian to the max! Never mind! Just let things get pass! Haha!!

Li Zhu, Qi Xiang and Uncle Zhiyuan~

Candids around!

Cheers!
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Anne Anne =)

Npy and I =D
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FOOD!

FLYER~


Presenting.... FIREWORKS!
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OMG! Guo Yue lost to Wang Nan!! OMG! The score was 4-2!!! I think the fastest game is during game 5. Wang Nan actually got a score of 11-3 in 2 minutes! OMG! That is super fast! Why is the results like that! Ahh!

Guo Yue will be playing against Li Jia Wei will fight for a place on the podium in the bronze medal match to be held on Friday at 7:30 p.m. The gold medal match will follow suit an hour later.

I realise, Zhang Yining, is not very pretty! Haha! Sorry sorry!

Anyways~ Wan Rong was claiming that I cut my hair in my display picture (picture below) and to clarify, I so did not! Joseph thought I cut my hair too! LOL! I told fishy and then he said that he thought I cut short my hair and then it grew longer.

I did not cut my hair! And the picture was taken on 16 August, Wan Rong's birthday! Haha! However, I wonder what it is like if I cut short my hair! Haha!!! Anyways, Meron will NEVER cut my hair short for some reason~

As expected, Li Jia Wei lost to Wang Yining! The match lasted for 45 minutes and she lost with a scoreboard of 4-1. Sadded! It is kind of expected because, Li Jia Wei is facing the formidable World No. 1, Zhang Yining, an opponent Li Jia Wei has never beaten in their previous encounters.

Judging from the score, I think Feng Tianwei played better. It is so sad that Feng Tianwei lost without the chance to enter the semifinals. Though Li Jia Wei is got into semifinal, I feel that Feng Tianwei is a better player.

According to report, for the match between China's Guo Yue and Wang Nan, the odds are tilted in Guo's favor. As the second seed, Guo is known for her sharp and aggressive style. Her multiple victories over Wang in their previous matches will also help her in Friday's semifinal. As a third-time Olympian, Wang's experience is her biggest advantage.

OMG! Ok, there will be a high chance that #1 will be playing against #2. Then Wang Nan will be playing against Li Jia Wei. Wang Nan lost to Wang Nan previously and I think the odds are in Wang Nan's favour!

The top 3 medals should most likely be given to China. All the three flags would be China flag. Haha!

Ok, it is another day at school for VPP! OMG! I am getting so bored of programming. Help me! I am being nice, I decided not to chiong for project. The reason is because, I shall wait for Wen Bin to come back to school and do with him. I shall not be so bad and 'one man show'.

After school, I took bus home and I doze off on the bus! When I am changing to 145 to get to Toa Payoh interchange, I saw daddy on the bus. So we walked home together. When I reach home, I started my Table Tennis chase! I went to check online for Table Tennis Women's Single! Haha!

Sadded, Feng Tianwei lost! Sadded!!

While in the library today, I saw something so cute! Feel tempted to but, forget it! =) I want but I do not want too. So yes, forget about it~

Tomorrow, I have to go back to school again! Sian!!!

again, again and again! once again. why does it always happen? why do it keep happen lately?

i feel so sian about it. i cannot afford to be sian about it. it is normal and expected isn't it? so what is with the sian-ness? from the very start, it has always been like that. so what is there to say? nothing to complain about it. get use to it, more will come.

sometimes, i ponder. sometimes, i wondered. you said you do not know how it is like. i guess you had once had the feeling of do not know what it is like before isn't it? and later, you got to know what it is like isn't it? why did you use what you that on me? sometimes i feel like questioning about it but.. i promised not to say and yes, i did not! just believe it isn't that one would say?

since both also forgotten about it, then i decided to give it a miss. what is wrong with saying 'do not want'? plus, it is quite troublesome for both. yes, i do love it but still, i, myself also forgotten about it already. in addition, i do not want go late either and there are many people. forget it then. since you insist, just go ahead with it.

you are joking about it? you are serious about it? so which is true and which is not? you said that you will never. so i take it for real. even before, many times, you already told me that you will never say so. since then, i do not expect an answer from that question. last time, i asked a couple of times before and your reply is either 'no' or 'i do not use it on teenage girls'. so i stop asking (if you realise). even if i ask, i do not demand an answer anymore.

many things, you do not say, i do not ask. even if i ask, you just kept quiet, i just forget it and change topic. sometimes, you would give me your definition and indirectly tell me the answer. i do know the answer. i seriously do. definition is different. so yes, obviously the answer is like what your definition is. you do not say, i do not know either. it is not that i am insensitive but it is that for all these while, your definition is like that and i know about it. so yes, i thought it is like your definition.

so now, you regret saying that. and now you are telling me how not-good you are. so yes, what you want me to do now? you are telling me indirectly to think about it is it? you are telling me indirectly to re-consider is it? so is it true that telling you 'yes, you are seriously not', you will be happier? is it true? if yes, i will tell you that. tell you that good enough already and yet, you kept saying i-don't-know-what. forget it, if telling what you think is better answer, i will tell you that.

forget it, never mind. i already do not know how serious when things get serious and how joking things are when getting fun. just take it lightly and it will be ok already. better than any last min change of 'i am joking about that'. not the first time anyways. maybe i will not feel so attached to the words if i take it lightly. and at times, i will not feel tight.

now you want me to forget, every little think you said, but there is something left in my head. suddenly, you want me to forget everything. how can i forget everything? why not just ask me forget and start everything from the very scratch. why not just let me knock my head and forget everything and start everything from stranger? isn't that better?

first you said you do not like to, now you say you actually like it. so what am i suppose to do from now on? you said you are waiting but i did not open my mouth so no choice. however, did you know sometimes i am waiting to hear something too? did you know why i said them the other time when she commented? because i know i'd not get it from you. your definition is high above the sky and me, way below the bed of the sea.

i guess i really do not know anything at all. i always thought what you said is what i have to know and in the end, it is not at all. so where do i actually stand? i do not know at all either. joking? serious? i do not know when that is. did you really mean what you say or is it just pride? i do not know either. i really thought like what i am said. i really thought so. but in the end, it is everything wrong.

no more kiddo life. i do not want to be #### anymore. i shall change. one day, i will not be #### anymore.


it is time to grow up.

OMG!

Feng Tianwei is losing! Sian sian~ She is playing against Zhang Yining and she is losing!! See, I expected it. I mean, Zhang Yining is so so so so pro and judging from Feng Tianwei's result, it is VERY good already!

Ok, the score board is like that!

Zhang-Feng
13-11
12-14
14-12
12-10
13-11
What a tough fight! Actually, Feng Tianwei is very pro already! Not a single score is lower than 10 ok! She is counted very very good already! The game completed in 1 hour. So sad! It is ok! She is very good already!! Ahh! Feng Tianwei my idol!

Ok, Li Jia Wei is playing against Wang Chen of USA. Li Jia Wei won Wang Chen and in the next round, she will be playing against the super pro, Zhang Yining! OMG!!

Judging from the scoreboard, I think Wang Nan will be playing against Guo Yue in the following round. What a show! It will be super exciting ok! The two China team playing against each other!
Ok, China is going to get another 3 medal, Gold, Silver and Bronze in Table Tennis Women's Single. Shucks! Poor Singapore!!!!

Never mind, Feng Tianwei and Li Jia Wei had did Singapore proud with Wang Yue Gu in winning a Silver in Table Tennis Women's Team. Great work!!

Table-tennis: S'pore's Li, Feng into last eight

OMG! Feng Tianwei and Li Jia Wei got into top 8!!

Li Jia Wei played against Lin Ling from Hong Kong. I would say that that is one of the most sian diao match. They played a total of 7 sets. Imagine, 1 set, they have to get either 11 wins or 2 above the opponents. How long did they play?!

The two of them are like taking turns to win. For the 1, 3, 5 set, Lin Ling won. And for the 2, 4, 6, 7 set, Li Jia Wei won. Sweating ok! Well, Li Jia Wei did well! All the best for her!

As for beloved Feng Tianwei, she won easily! For the first set, her opponent, Li Jie from Netherlands, won. Then subsequently, Feng Tianwei won.

My brother-known-as-cute-cute, Park Mi-Young, table tennis player from South Korea, lost to Wang Nan from China. OMG! I though she would get into top 8! Well, she is playing with world champion! (Wang Nan, a true world class table tennis champion.)

Zhang Yining, ranking #1 in the ITTF ranking, has got into top 8 too! No doubt, no doubt! Guo Yue, the future of Chinese women's table tennis, got into top 8 too. Ok, she is from China too! The 3 players from China team got into top 8! OMG! They are so pro! Imagine, Zhang Yining, ITTF ranking #1, Wang Nan, ITTF ranking #2, and lastly, Guo Yue, ITTF ranking #3, coming together to fight one another. What a fight!

Ok, hope that Feng Tianwei and Li Jia Wei can do well and get up up up! Actually, I feel that it is not very fair. Well, IF you were to play with Wang Nan, Zhang Yining and Guo Yue, there is a HIGH chance that you will lose. And that means you are quite 'lousy' if you are so unlucky to meet them at the first match. Imagine!!

Regardless what, I just wish Feng Tianwei win win win!! =) Haha! Feng Tianwei is so cool! All the best to her ok! =D

Ok, end of rattling of table tennis! Back to Matlab-ing~

It is Wednesday and it is the third day of VPP! How is it? How are you feeling, Anne? Ok, I am feeling fine and bored. I did not have much to do seriously! I am slacking and rotting at work. What can I do actually? This is for being in software project.


x__[[Sunday, August 17, 2008.

On Sunday, I was busy being emotional. Sorry to make people worried. And obviously, something happened which cause me to be so emotional. Well, all things would be solved gradually. Obviously, it is solved. Else, you would be seeing me emotional for the rest of the day.

What happened? If you want to know, you may ask pm me =) I will tell if I find it suitable.


x__[[Monday, August 18, 2008.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YU XUAN! :)

On Monday, it is the start of VPP! OMG! I am dying. I suddenly despise school! OMG! Early morning, I woke up the usual time I use to wake up to go work at DSO. I miss DSO! I took the 7.13am 235, take the 7.20am 143 and 7.28am 151. It is the exact same timing of bus that I take everyday to DSO! OMG!

Then, as usual, I reach KAP at about 7.50am. I am meeting npy for breakfast at Mac today. My VPP starts at 9am and I am going to school at 8am for breakfast. Npy was late and I stupidly stood there and waited for him. Yawn!

We went to Mac and we had breakfast. Just when I am going to finish my tea, Yang Fang called and asked me to meet her before going to BME room for VPP briefing at 9am. So npy and I left Mac and walked to school.

I met up with Yang Fang and headed up to BME room for briefing. I suddenly feel so foreign! OMG! I hate it so much. I find it so stranger and all. We walked to Room 4 and saw some of them sitting there and wait for VPP briefing to start.

We waited and waited. Initially, it is said to start at 9am. In the end, it starts at 9.50am. I still remember how Mr. Foo always mentions the importance of punctuality. In the end, he is super duper late! How punctual he is. When he came, he started briefing and talk rubbish. He always talks in circle and do not go to the point.

After briefing, we went to look for our respective supervisors. I was rotting and rotting! After talking to Dr. Raj, I went to the library to look for a book. Then I went to look for npy to teach Mathematics. OMG! It had been ages since I touched Engineering Mathematics! Ahh! My Mathematics is rotting.

Then I went for lunch and went back to the project room. When I am having my lunch, I saw Samuel and clique. What the hack. Ok, ignore that~ LOL!

When I came back to the room, not long after, Dr. Raj gave us the permission to DISAPPEAR! So I disappear after chatting with friends and lecturer. I went to meet up with npy and then we headed down to Suntec City. We made our way down to Esplanade library and then I started teaching npy Mathematics again. I am such a nice teacher. LOL!

After teaching Mathematics, we went to the rooftop of esplanade and nua over there. LOL! Then we left and took 56 home. Yawn! We went home early today. I am supposed to settle dinner outside but in the end, nobody told me to eat my dinner out before coming home. Poor me, have to starve at home!


x__[[Tuesday, August 19, 2008.

On Tuesday, early morning, I went to meet up with npy for breakfast again! Happy! He came down specially in the early morning just to meet me for breakfast. Happy + Happy! After breakfast, I went to BME centre for my VPP.

Today, I am supposed to download and install Matlab. And yes, obviously there are some problems with installation of Matlab. I am the first person to install Matlab. So after installing, I helped Irene, Maggie, Jun Long, Wei Yang, Elijah, Xavier and Wei Li install Matlab into their laptops. So yes, my WHOLE day is gone with helping them install Matlab.

Then I did some writing of Matlab codes. I was trying out and learning Matlab codes. I feel so like the first week in DSO! When I first started my attachment, I was given a thick book on Visual Basic 6 and told to learn Visual Basic 6 in short 2 weeks. What I did for the 2 weeks was to read and tryout the code in VB6. I was so bored that time!

Now, I am reading a book on Matlab and typing the codes out and trying out. How fun that is! Programming, programming and more programming for my days in NP!

Punctually, I left school at 5pm! I went to meet up with npy and we headed home together. We went to Toa Payoh for dinner together. After dinner, we went to walk around and then headed home. While on the bus, I was quite tired actually.

When I reach home, after I bathe, I went to call npy. Npy asked me to go and sleep first and I made him to call me when he reaches home. In the end, he failed to wake me up. I guess I am too tired already. I woke up at 12 plus. I wanted to call npy but thanks to being considerate and kind, I did not call him and went back to sleep.


x__[[Wednesday, August 20, 2008.

Today morning, I woke up early again! I came online and check the venue for PPP. While checking for the venue, I browse the timing too. Kenneth came talking to me online. He was bored, I guess.

Then I left house and judging from the time, I am going to be LATE for PPP. I rush all the way to school and called Yang Fang and Irene. They were telling me that PPP starts at 1pm and not 8am. I thought it was 8am. So I headed to the room to check.

In the end, the room was empty and PPP starts at 1pm after checking my laptop. So I was rotting in the room while waiting for 9am to come. Being GOOD girl, I started doing a little Matlab. Then slowly, more and more people starts coming in.

For the whole morning, I am doing Matlab. Yawn! I do not know I am SLOW or I am FAST! Seriously, I was doing and Wan Sin was telling me to relax, do not need to chiong. I am not chiong-ing but I have nothing to do so I just type code.

I seriously do not know what to do with project. It is WRONG to chiong and yet, I am afraid I cannot finish the project in time. If you chiong for project, and FOO sees that you are super free, he will come and pin point you. I mean what is wrong with finishing project early? Seriously!

Well, I usually do work with the mood. If I am slacking, I can seriously slack for one whole month and not get turn on and work, work, work. See, my time in DSO. When I am motivated to work on my code, can chiong everything out in 1 week. However, when I turn off my engine, I start to blog like nobody business! See, that is my problem. I do not know how!

In the afternoon, after lunch, I went for PPP. I was sleepy! I wanted to sleep. So I tried to stay awake until the whole PPP ended. Seriously, it had been ages since I attended lecture like that. Faint!

After PPP, I went to meet up with npy and then I headed home. While on the bus, I was sleeping! I am so tired! When I reach home, I actually doze off while watching television. Npy tried calling me but I am sleeping like a pig! In the end, I woke up because mummy come shaking me up for dinner.

Yawn! I was watching the news and they said that Feng Tianwei and Li Jia Wei got into round of 16 for Table Tennis Woman's Singles. Wang Yue Gu did not get into the round of 16. Feng Tianwei's opponent is actually Dang Ye Seo, the S.Korea player who lose to her during the Table Tennis Women's Team. And Feng Tianwei is so 'harsh' that not a single game, Dang Ye Seo got more than 5 points. -.-

Good luck Feng Tianwei and Li Jia Wei! Feng Tianwei, JIA YOU!!! =)

sorry is all that you can say.
what more can you say?

one covering another.
never ending.
cover and cover.
how to open all?
what will happen if opened?
it will lead to more.

why are you feeling this way?
you chose to fill in the blanks yourself.
what if it is wrong?
you do not want to hear either.
why are you so stubborn?
why did you want to choose the uncertain way?
why make yourself insecure?

since I do not know when, you learnt to be selfish.
this time, you chose to not know anymore.
even if know, you chose to act ignorant.
I have no idea why either.
you chose the path which is not workable in the situation.
what is wrong with you.
why did you do so?
do you know it is hurting?
why why why?

just a simple thing, why make a big fuss?
you want, do it yourself.
stop fooling yourself please.
it is the fact that others do not state.
so why keep fooling yourself?
please, look at the mirror, stop fooling yourself.
wake up please!

you have good adaptability.
so now, time to adapt.
step by step, adapt and remember.
the terms and conditions.
one day, it would be best for you.
it is tough but that is the best way out for you.
hard on you!

you feel so heavy isn't it?
every thing is so heavy.
every meant-to-be-nice things are so painful in return.
why do you have to torture yourself like that?
why?!
why not let out?
why do you want to be like that?

you said, you wanted to not add in any more.
you said, you do not want to cause negative-ness.
you said, you want positive on the outcome.
you said, you are supportive.
you said, you will comply to the terms and conditions.
you said, you are working hard.

adapt, adapt, adapt!
so the ability of adapting is to tolerate everything?
so the ability of adapting is to be able to bury everything?
so the ability of adapting is to take in all the torture yourself?
so the ability of adapting is to follow whatever said?
so is that the ability of adapting suppose to do?

you are nothing.
please understand.
please...

 
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