My Life, My Blog

Anne,
You are such an idiot.
Why did all this happen to you?

Machiam taking exam.
Like my CAEM.
I know that I am going to fail badly.
But I desperately hoping I can pass.
After the paper,
You are waiting for results.
You can't sit and treat it as if nothing happened.
You are just going to take it once and for all.
If you fail,
You cannot repeat anymore.
Because you don't have the time already.
You want to pass so much.
You know sure fail.

I'm experiencing things like that now.
I am taking a test of relationship.
I desperately hope can turn back.
I really hope that will happen.
But I know it will not happen.
I know that there is no turn back.
The damn test is on Saturday.
I cannot sit here and treat it as if nothing happen.
I am taking the test on Saturday,
I am getting my result on Saturday.
If really decided on not turning back,
It will never happen again.
Once gone is gone.
I am not sure one day,
Will return or not.
But I know,
Once gone,
It is gone.
Things cannot repeat already.
Saturday is nearing.
I do not know what to do.
I want it to turn back so much.
But I know that it is fruitless.
I know~

I don't know what to do anymore.
I did not know how to solve it.
Now,
Fear is overtaking Love.
How to solve and salvage matters?
How to minimise the fear to the minimum?
How to let the said to be overpowering Love to take over?
How can I do it?
I did not know I was fearful.
I did not know that I can cause someone to fear me that much.
I totally do not know about it.

Everyone will say the same sentence to me.
If he is meant to be yours, he will be yours.
Everyone is telling me that.
I always tell others that too.
However,
When you are in the situation,
It is very hard to think like wise.
It is seriously very hard.
The love consultant, Anne,
She herself always help listen to love problem.
Now when she have problem.
Others are telling her what she tell others.
It is normal.
Very normal.

Been talking to Limin.
She is trying to make me feel beter.
I finally found another person to pour things into.
She is rather experience.
She watch alot of love drama.
She can help me through.
She really giving me lecture.
She is teaching me how.
She is telling me how.
I am bombing her with questions
And she is telling me how.
I do not know what will happen.
All I can bomb her is the 2 points which I know.

In specific,
I don't know what is wrong.
I only know that he fear,
He is tired.
The rest I do not know.
I know.
I need to reassure for the fear.
Tired?
I don't know how.
I know,
I doubt he will allow me to reassure him.
But what can I do?
I mean,
That is what the talk is for.

In order to pass,
I need to extinguish the fear.
We need to do adjustments.
In order to do so,
Need to solve the fear one by one.
Machiam step 1, one solution
Step 2, one solution.
And part therefore.
He is scared I become possessive.
Pleasee!!
Tell others and nobody will believe it.
Maybe I am possessive.
Even so,
Because I care.
If he is looking for a less possessive relationship,
Machiam don't get one.
Do he know the commitment in relationship?
I guess he does.

Fear is something that you need to go try
And see the change to eliminate de le.
So very hard to like let him supress the fear at once de.
He must agree to let both of you to try out again
He must really open up n try again.

Will he do so?
I mean,
I am willing to do the change and eliminate it.
Will he be willing to try?

Everyone says,
God answers prayer.
So does praying help?
So does it mean that if I pray,
God will answer my prayer?
I don't know.
I am trying whatever I can.
I am trying all means.
All I wish for is..

To be with you.

Simple goal,
Hard process!