I'm dying seriously.
I have so much to say.
But I do not know who to tell.
I don't know who will understand.
I don't know who is free.
I totally don't know.
I miss you a lot.
I really do.
I so want to tell you.
But I'm scared.
I am scared that I get rejected.
I was listening to two songs while I am on the bus.
I felt extremely depress.
One is by Jolin, 你还爱我吗 (Do you still love me)
The other is by 7 Flowers, 我只想要 (I only want)
This two songs are really stirring up my emotions.
I want to delicate the song by Jolin to you.
And I want to tell you that the song by 7 Flowers,
Really display how I feel.夜里传来雨的声音 (Night transmits the rain the sound)
轻轻拨动心的旋律情 (Gently moves the heart the melody sentiment)
不自禁想起你 (Does not control self remembers you)
那些甜蜜的回忆 (These happy recollections)
总是不小心 (Is not always careful)
就淋湿了我的眼睛 (Dripped wet my eye)
爱情需要一些呼吸 (The love needs some breath)
偶尔保持一点距离 (Occasionally maintains a distance)
回到朋友的关系 (Returns to friend's relations)
任你自由的来去 (No matter what you are free round trip)
从此想念你 (From this time on thinks of you)
只能放在我心里 (Only can put in my heart)
你还爱我吗 (Do you still love me)
一直好想问你这句话 (Continuously wants to ask your this)
却又怕 (Actually feared)
听到你真实的回答 (Hears to your real reply)
你还爱我吗 (Do you still love me)
为何你总是不说话 (Why don't you always speak)
眼看我为爱不爱挣扎 (Looking at me struggling to love or not)
你爱我吗 (Do you love me)
好久没有你的消息 (Does not have your news for a long time)
心里还惦记着你 (In the heart also is keeping thinking about you)
在这冷冷的夜里 (In this cold cold night)
感觉那么的熟悉 (Feels such familiar)
好想再见你想听听 (Feel like seeing you and listening to)
你的声音 (Your voice)
你还爱我吗 (Do you still love me)
一直好想问你这句话 (Continuously wants to ask your this)
却又怕 (Actually feared)
听到你真实的回答 (Hears to your real reply)
你还爱我吗 (Do you still love me)
为何你总是不说话 (Why don't you always speak)
眼看我为爱不爱挣扎 (Looking at me struggling to love or not)
你爱我吗 (Do you love me)
感情的路 (Sentimental road)
总让人好无助 (Always lets the person helpless)
我会学着面对独处 (I will learn to face living alone)
给深爱的你祝福 (Pray for heavenly blessing for the deeply loved you)
你还爱我吗 (Do you still love me)
一直好想问你这句话 (Continuously wants to ask your this)
却又怕 (Actually feared)
听到你真实的回答 (Hears to your real reply)
你还爱我吗 (Do you still love me)
这是我唯一的牵挂 (This is my only worrying)
不管你会有什么回答 (No matter you can have any reply)
我会一直等你 (I will always wait for you)
你还爱我吗 (Do you still love me)
你还爱我吗 (Do you still love me)
Yes,
It is very emo song.
Seriously,
I want to ask you so much,
Do you still love me.
Yet,
I am scared too.
I am scared of the truth.
I am very scared.
I will learn to face things alone.
I will learn to be brave.
And yet,
I am scared.
Why is that so?
I am really unsure.
怎麼說忘就忘記 (How said forgets to forget)
這甜蜜的過去 (This happy past)
被思念包著厚厚的糖衣 (Is being wrap thickly with missing like sugarcoating)
不想再為了你傷心 (Does not want be sad again because of you)
這最冷的夏季 (This coldest summer)
慢慢地 (Slowly)
慢慢結成冰 (Slowly forms the ice)
承諾變悲哀 (The pledge changes sorrowfully)
悲哀因我被愛 (Sorrowful because I am loved)
悲哀是你因為你不在 (Sorrowful is you because of you not here)
我好想抱著你訴苦 (I want to hug you to complain)
卻顯得好無助 (But shows that is helpless)
無助的讓人想痛哭 (Not helps lets the person want to weep bitterly)
我只想要 (I only want)
和你在一起 (To be with you)
朝著幸福走去 (Walking towards happiness)
像戀人般的簡單甜蜜 (Simple is happy like the lover)
我只想要 (I only want)
和你不分離 (Does not separate with you)
怎麼輕易放棄 (How easily gives up)
說你忘記 (Said you forgot)
我想這一定是報應 (I thought this certainly is a retribution)
都怪我太貪心 (All blames me too being greedy)
才讓你頭也不回的離去 (Only then lets departing which your does not return)
黃色絲巾是想念 (The decadent silk handkerchief is thought of)
在樹上被風吹 (Is blown on the tree by the wind)
孤單的 (Lonely)
孤單一個人無法沉睡 (Orphaned sole personally is unable the deep sleep)
承諾變悲哀 (The pledge changes sorrowfully)
悲哀因我被愛 (Sorrowful because I am
loved)
悲哀是你因為你不在 (Sorrowful is you because of you not here)
我好想抱著你訴苦 (I want to hug you to complain)
卻顯得好無助 (But shows that is helpless)
無助的讓人想痛哭 (Not helps lets the person want to weep bitterly)
我只想要 (I only want)
和你在一起 (To be with you)
朝著幸福走去 (Walking towards happiness)
像戀人般的簡單甜蜜 (Simple is happy like the lover)
我只想要 (I only want)
和你不分離 (Does not separate with you)
怎麼輕易放棄 (How easily gives up)
說你忘記 (Said you forgot)
愛情怎麼會讓每顆心都碎 (How can the love let each heart all break to pieces)
我不再相信你 (I no longer believe you)
卻又慢慢想起你 (But actually slowly remembers you)
我只想要 (I only want)
和你在一起 (To be with you)
我只想要 (I only want)
和你不分離 (Does not separate with you)7 Flowers;
我只想要 (I only want)
Hai.
Two emo songs.
Makes one emo Anne.
How can I really walk out of it?
I needed help.
I really cannot take the coldness anymore.
I really cannot take it anymore.
I am going to explode so soon.
I need to know the answer desperately.
I need to know what is the final decision.
I need to know what it is!
I really do not know how long I can hold on.
I really do not know already.
You said try.
Yet you are putting up coldness.
I really do not know what is it already.
Feeling so terrible.
I want to know so much.
I really wish that you can turn back.
I really wish that we can be toegether.
I really wish that all will turn out fine.
I really wish so.
So what I wish so?
The decision does not lies with me.
It lies with you.
I really need to know it.
I really hope I can get happily ever after story.
I really hope.
I really hope you can turn back.
I really really hope so.
I want to be the Anne which everyone knows.
And not this one who is guessing here and there.
I really need it so much.
I am guessing too much already.
How can I stop guessing?
Keeping myself busy is the best thing of all.
That is the only way out.
Initally,
I thought that this chance is going to be part of happy memories.
In the end,
It is more of a asking me to wait for answer period.
I am neglected greatly.
I thought we are suppose to act normal.
Where is the thing you insisted?
You insisted in sending and accompanying.
In the end?
Nothing at all.
Do you know that every morning,
I get down the bus,
I was hoping to see you so much?
I was hoping that you are there waiting?
I was hoping everything goes back to the past?
When I did not see you,
I have to wake myself up.
I have to slap myself so hard,
That I stop dreaming.
Do you know every evening,
I come down from DSO,
I was hoping for a surprise from you?
I will look around for any sights of you.
I will be hoping to see you at 151 stop.
I was hoping to see you at poly.
I was hoping to see you at jalan toa payoh.
I was hoping to see you?
When I reach the interchange,
I see the bus you always take to go home.
I am so tempted to find you?
I am so tempted to take it?
I am so tempted to run there and see if you are there?
I am so tempted.
I really do not know what is going on already.
I already do not know what to do anymore.
I already do not know how to face everything.
I am so lost.
Who is going to pick me up from here?
Who is going to take over?
Who is going to do all this?
Who?
Nobody.
You are not turning back.
You are walking away.
You said you will try.
I believe you.
But I don't feel that you are trying.
I feel that you are trying to hide.
I feel that you are trying to run.
I don't feel that you are trying to face it.
It is not that I do not have faith.
It is that,
I really had enough of the coldness.
This coldness is enough to freeze everything.
It is enough to cause freeze marks.
It is enough already.
Love is forgiving.
In the past,
When I asked for that choice,
You will beg me and all to stay.
I will forgive everything and stay.
Because?
Love is forgiving.
Now,
For once,
You asked for that choice,
I beg you and all to stay.
You are not staying.
You are not forgiving me.
You are not at all.
All you remember is that,
This is the choice you made and you shall not regret.
Why can't you think from another view?
Why not?
Love is forgiving and yes,
You had been very forgiving.
Why not this time?
I am begging you like shit.
I am trying my best at all times.
What did I get?
Everything I did not want.
And most of all,
I did not get your forgiveness.
Seriously,
I already do not know anymore.
All I hope for is your forgiveness,
Is it that hard?
Is it that hard to do so?
I thought Love is strong to overcome everything.
That is what I thought.
Love is so strong that nothing can beat it.
Now,
You are showing that you are fighting.
But?
What is the outcome?
I really do not know anymore.
I don't want to know the outcome anymore.
I don't want to know it ANYMORE!
Since you are treating me this way,
I think,
Things stays this way is better in many ways ba.
I think even if you read this,
You will just hack care!
You will just hack care and be even more glad.
So glad that I had stop forcing you to try.
Finally you get to give up totally.
I think that is how you feel.
You don't even bother to keep some time for me.
So what more?
I was so looking forward to going out as usual.
Every saturday.
I was looking damn forward.
What did I get in the end?
A whole big bucket of ice water.
That is all I get.
Perfect!
I am so touched for giving me a second chance,
And pour a few Litres of ICE WATER on me.
I am so touched for giving me a second chance,
And neglect me like nobody business.
I am so touched for giving me a second chance,
And not keeping what you insisted.
I am so touched!
I wanted to do something so much.
I wanted to be there for you so much.
I wanted to be.
I wanted to keep my promises so much.
I wanted your forgiveness so much.
I wanted to have company so much.
End up?
I am destroying myself with all that.
Seriously,
Where is the confident anne?
Where is the anne who said so confidently,
"with my calibre, I can find someone who can accept me whole heartedly."
Seriously,
If you cannot accept me anymore,
Its ok.
There are so many people out there in the world.
Why do I need to cry so much?
You yourself was once attracted to my calibre.
Substaining and improving that,
Why can't I find someone else?
Like the grass story.
Yes,
This time I lost the grass.
This time I left it there.
However,
I tried to cover it from rain and shine.
I tried so hard.
What did I get?
Making myself fall ill.
You said you threw the grass away already.
Now you are looking for it.
Why are you so unsure?
You said 90-10.
So if this is how you treat someone with 10,
I rather be your friend.
At least I am treated better as your friend.
At least I won't get neglected.
At least I won't get thrown away.
I am utterly sad.
I do not know how I feel now.
I really do not know already.
Waiting for you is like waiting for a rain in a drought. Useless and disappointing.The Cinderella Story;
Hopeless hope.