Dear bloggie,
I am feeling so confused. I have no idea what is going on. I have no idea if that is the right one. I have no idea what I can do. I have no idea whatever is happening too. I only know, I have to live up to my promise. It is so hard to live up to promises. I am so tired of keeping my promises again and again.
Why is it that the moment it start, everything change? It drop drastically and it is an overnight. So many things said but it is not shown. Ask me, do I doubt it? I doubt it totally. How can I trust it when it wasn’t shown at all? How can I trust it when it is totally opposite from what it is said? Tell, me, what can I trust?
I thought it was normal. In the end, I was doing a little more than others. Ok, I understand. I though “ok, I will not next time, I promise.” And I finally understand, it is not a little more, it is actually irritating and disturbing. I saw it and understand why it just can’t wait to be ended. I am not jus plain irritating but it is SUPER irritating. I will never ever do it again. I will do it way lesser, best if it is zero. I promise.
Regardless what happen, I try to accept, I try to tolerate, I try to understand. Yes, I am trying. However, this accepting, tolerating, understanding is getting too far too much. When I fail to accept, tolerate and understand, it became my fault, it became stress.
I don’t want to be a 24/7 strong person. I am not and I don’t want to be one. I am just an ordinary female who have up and down. That is the minimum said. In the end, it is not met again. I don’t understand why I am still trying to accept, tolerate and understand when it is only me doing it.
I am writing a report every single minute. Whenever I read through, I realise I am reporting every single day and minute. Bloggie, you must be so bored to let me type my report everyday. I am reporting every single detail, time, venue on you. You must be dying. There is nothing interesting to read either. Right bloggie?
Ok, bloggie, I know you are tired! I am giving you time on your own. I am giving you the time to rest and do your own things. See, isn’t me such a nice owner? I will come back when I am needed. LOL!
Sign off,
Anne