Hmm! Early afternoon, I got driving. The sun is like BIG! =( What a big sun! The weather is like burning! I want my concession!!! =( I don’t want to walk under the big sun! I want to take bus all the way~~~ I want my concession back!!!
Later I got driving. Drive drive drive. I am so sian of going down to ssdc! Suddenly I thought of some problem and yes! I have to think of a way to settle it too. So stupid one! Why is ssdc so packed? I need to pre-book so many lessons. So sickening! What a waste of money.
Tonight, got bme farewell party! I am going to see my friends again. Though I am super duper uper lazy to travel, I still have to go. Well, I said that I am going. And yes, my dear vp actually left a note on facebook for everyone! OMG! I am so touched! I don’t see myself or irene doing that. Right irene?! LOL!
I was talking to my cousin the other day. It suddenly came to my mind, why are people so fake? Why do people wear a mask? I want to wear a mask too. I want a mask that is forever smiling. I don’t want to show people that I am unhappy or angry. I don’t know why, I don’t like to reveal the ‘unhappy’ side. What I don’t like most is people asking me “are you ok?” when I am obviously not ok. Sounds stupid right?!
Sometimes, I’d rather suffer alone at night then pulling a long face and talk to other people. Now I understand, why sometimes, people just want to be alone. Sometimes, I wish to be alone too. Sometimes, I just want to do some reflection. I can’t believe that I actually do reflection! LOL!
Well, there are some things which people want to hide and they hide it very well. For example, by chance, I got to know that one of my close friend actually don’t like another friend of hers. However, they are still quite close together. My close friend actually tolerate that friend of hers and fake a front every time. However, the fact is, my close friend dislike her SO much! I was totally dumb folded when she told me about it.
Why do people want a mask? Is being themselves and revealing their actual feeling very difficult? It is so hard? I find it so hard myself. I find it so hard to reveal my true feeling, my unhappiness and anger. I always want to put a “I am ok” front. I don’t want people to worry for me. I want a big big mask~
Yesterday night, I was chatting with my cousin. I can’t stand it any more. Suddenly, I find jiaxin such a jerk. Not very sudden. He is such a loser. I think he is so self-centered and his pride is so damn high. He is such an idiot. That day, my cousin’s god sister told her about what jiaxin spread at his work place the other time when they broke up.
She lives in a Terrace house with 2 maids and 2 dogs.
She demanded a guess watch as a present.
She demanded more time for her when he is working for her mother.
She cheated on him with her colleague.
OMG! I think he is so pro. Having to be cousin with her for coming 20 years, I never know that she have 2 dogs! Yes, she USED to live in a terrace house but that was before they are together. She asked for a guess watch? Hmm! My cousin is richer than him. Why would my cousin demand that? And besides, my cousin finds guess a cheap brand -.-
I don’t understand why he need to be such an idiot. Is pride really that important? Why is it that when the girl he woo rejected him, he comes back to my cousin again? And why did he force himself onto her? I don’t understand at all.
Why can’t he have a clean break up? Why did he make my cousin the ‘full time’? When he want to woo the girl, he fails, he will go back to my cousin. When he manage to get the girl, however the girl reject some of his request, he goes back to my cousin.
He keep claiming that my cousin did not consider his feeling. Why not ask himself, did he consider my cousin’s feeling when he spread things about her? Did he consider about my cousin when he tries to tarnish her reputation? Did he consider about my cousin when he finds her back because he fails to woo another girl? Did he consider about my cousin when he force himself onto her? Did he consider about my cousin when he scolded her self centered, selfish, slut, bitch?
Why must he do all this when the other party rejects him? No, to be exact, he only did that to my cousin when she rejected him. Why? It is because, he will look for my cousin when he fails another girl. And he ASSUME that my cousin will go back to him regardless what happen. What a jerk.
He used to be (please note, it is USED TO BE) such a nice guy. He was so sweet and concern about my cousin. Why did he change so drastically that I hardly recognise him? Why must he be such a jerk and join the ‘jerk’ company? Why must he do all this to hurt someone?
People change faster than you though. The one you used to think that you know very well might just become a stranger overnight. I am getting more and more foreign to things around. People change, feelings change, character change, thinking change.
When will be my change? When will be the expiry date to my current path?