Just for Grandma

090909. Today is supposed to be a happy day. It is a wonderful date. Everything that happen today supposed to be wonderful. Today should be a happy day. It should be…
On this special day, most of my friends who already entered NS are having their passing out parade. Some of them are joseph, zhiyuan, wen bin, jun yuan, wen yi and etc. It is a special day for them. Many couples are going ROM today to get themselves registered as husband and wife.
Today morning, at around 6.45am, it had been made as a special day for me too, a very special one. Early in the morning, my dad called my sister to ask her to take leave. The reason is very simple, my grandma just left. I wish I visited her yesterday.
Yesterday, for some reason I don’t know why, I am suffering from headache again. So when I come home, I rested and I am super tired. I decided to go bed and I did not visit my grandma with my dad. We were told to visit grandma for the so-called last time today. They are going to remove the tube that is pumping oxygen to her lungs. My aunts and uncles want my grandma to pass away ‘beautifully’. They want to remove most the tubings and drips. So we were told to go and see her before 10am, the time the doctors are going to remove the tube.
However, this morning when I was woken up by my sister, my brother said that my parents wanted to stay at the hospital last night. For some reason, they did not. At around 4+ 5am, my dad got a call from hospital and they rush down to the hospital immediately. Something is wrong.
I don’t know what the details were but at 6 plus am, my sister got a call and all of us woke up. We are told to go down to my grandma’s place in the afternoon.
Kah wai is right by saying, “When a person pass away, the pitiful ones are the ones still living on the planet earth. Not the ones that have passed on.” Every time I visit the hospital, I will end up in tears, so are my aunts and uncles. When we talk to her, she aren’t replying or opening her eyes. We called her and called her. There is not reaction at all.
 Looking at all the needles on grandma and all the medication that is fed into her, it is like a torture. She is coming 83 this december. At such age, she have to undergo such physical pain. And we, as children and grandchildren, we have to suffer from the emotional pain. Every time when we see the doctor, the doctors are always telling us “her condition got worst.” It is like using a knife and stabbing. Pain!
After my grandma is gone, there isn’t anymore birthday gatherings for us. When we (cousins) were young, we are always together playing and running around. As we get older, we start to separate one by one. However, one day, during my grandma’s 81’s birthday, we are all gathered together at this restaurant in chinatown. Now that grandma is gone, there isn’t going to be anymore birthday gathering to bring us all together.
Grandma’s place has always been a place for the KWAY to hold our gathering. Tampines is too far, my house isn’t convenient, so our only resort is grandma place. Every time we have kway gathering, we will end up sleeping at 5+ am. And at around 5am, grandma will wake up and go for morning walk and exercise. When she comes home, which is around 6am, she will start asking us to wake up.
She will bug kenneth to wake up. For some reason, she won’t bug kah wai and I. Poor kenneth’s sleep is always disturbed. Come to think of kenneth’s expression, it is so funny. Grandma will bug kenneth from 6+ am all the way to 9+ am. Then we will run to my aunt’s room to sleep. That is my grandma.
And in the morning, we will fight for the television. However, we will always let our grandma watch some taiwan long long long drama. In the end, we doze off watching the show. Sometimes, we play mahjong with grandma when my aunts doesn’t want to play with us. See, we don’t have much generation gap.
Now that grandma is gone, we are going to have lesser gatherings, kenneth is not going to be disturbed anyone, no one is going to play mahjong with us when we are short of players, no more watching taiwan long long long drama.
 Yes, though all this is gone, I am happy for grandma too. She finally get to meet up with grandpa. They had parted for 14 years. Every time when grandma sit on the sofa with the photo album, she will sob when she sees grandpa’s picture. She misses grandpa a lot. Now that she has gone to heaven, she can finally be with grandpa.
Not only that, her misery has now all gone. She don’t need to go through the needle pain. She can get rid of all the medication and drips. No more machines on her. No more puffiness due to water retention. Her kidney malfunction few days ago. So the doctors have to inject more needles to remove water from her body. Every single day, they take her blood to test for glucose level. Now no more procedure poking of needle.
Come to think of it, at least she pass away before the tube is removed. By removing the tube, it is like cutting off her oxygen supply. Then she will start grasping for air and gradually she might die due to insufficient air. Dying due to the lack of air is a very pathetic thing. It is totally torture, your face will slowly turn purple and suffocate and pass away. I don’t want her to die that way.
I really look up to my grandma. She brought up 7 daughters and 3 sons. Though some are not earning much, they never fail to help out one another in time of trouble. They are very bonded and their characters are good. And they are very filial. They visit the hospital practically every day.
Oh well, just take a look at grandma’s grandchildren (which is us! (= ), you will know how great my grandma did in teaching her children so they can teach their children well too. Seriously, my grandma is really great in giving birth and teaching them. I look up to her!
If not for school, I wish to stay with my grandma for the last few days before being cremated.
I love you grandma.

Side note: TTSH is a lousy and crap hospital. They do nothing to help my grandma and all they do is eat people’s money. The primary doctor is an idiot. The stupid primary doctor says that they will contact my aunts and uncles last week to talk about my grandma’s condition. In the end, after 1 week past, they did not contact them at all. Idiot!
And I realise, anyone can be a doctor. All those on-call doctors do are to go to the patient room, take the file, read and tell you what is going on with the patient. Then they will say “oh, we will try our best.” I can be a doctor too! Idiot!
What more stupid thing is, the doctors just use bombastic words. Hello! What is the point of telling us super duper long medical names when we don’t even study those? Can’t you people talk in layman term? If we understand your super duper long medical names, we can be doctors too, why do we still send patients to hospital? Idiot!
I really think the doctors are trying to ‘eat’ our money. When grandma just got into icu, the doctors told us to be mentally prepared for the worst. Ok, we told the doctors to try their best and do whatever they can. When grandma condition got worst, we were quite dishearten and the doctors told us not to give up hope. Then the doctor tell us to put the tube and grandma will get well. In the end, after operation, her condition got worst. Still tell me get well, get well his head la! Idiot!
In general, TTSH IS RUBBISH!