We are so planning a Guangzhou trip!

Kah wai just went home. Yesterday night, after her church service, she was super lazy to go home. So, she decided to come over to my place to sleep over. Haha! Whee! We chatted and used the computer until 2 plus am. The both of us slept on the sofa together. Oh shucks! My body is longer than the sofa ok! Haha! We went to bed at 4 plus am.

This morning, I woke up and RC =) Finally RC is doing something. FINALLY! We had breakfast and lunch. Kah wai skipped her kick boxing lesson and continue nua-ing at my house. Then I was telling her about some gathering which I don’t know if I should go. And from there, I told her the story between me and a used-to-be close group of friends.

I have never mention them in my blog. Neither did I mention what actually happen. All along, I feel that if I were to mention about it, things will get worst and the tension will get tighter. This problem had been in me for quite some time. Yes, you people know who you are.

Ever since we got promoted to the following year, I start to get drifted from a group of used-to-be close friends of mine – A, B, E, N, O, Z. Our path we different. We made different choices and now, we are walking different path. There were 3 paths. I am the only one who chose path C. E, A, N and Z chose path A.

For the first few weeks of our new path, the few of us were still quite close. I was telling E and N that I am going to be alone in path C and they actually tell me they will be there for me. We will be together, things will not change. I can catch up with the frequency very soon because there aren’t much changes.

Before I know, things start to change. I start to get drifted from those in path A and B. The lunch I used to had with a group of people from path A gone. We used to have lunch together. Last time, those from path A will message me when they are going for lunch. They will ask me to join them. Soon, they stop messaging me.

I did not ask much either. I just kept quiet. Until one day, by coincident, I was going lunch with J. And at the canteen, I actually saw them at the canteen too. J prompt me why they did not ask me for lunch and I was dumb folded. That is when I start to feel the change.

When my path meets with those in path A, things get so awkward. Before the path changes, we used to go lunch together. The moment the path changes and meet again, we stop going lunch together. Sometimes, after doing my things, I turn around, E, A and N are already gone.

I start meeting new people from my path. They are very funny, they never leave you out. They will pull you in. Yes, sometimes they do gossip but still, they are very nice people. And the best of all, they will never leave you alone. They will accompany you. Then I start to feel more relaxed in the new path.

In the new path, the people are very different. Practically most of them are of opposite gender. In my previous used-to-be close friends, they are all girls. And the moment I am in the new path, I mixed with people of opposite gender more. As the time we spent is more, I would talk to them more, discuss school work and others.

Make new friends but keep the old. I did try keeping the old. I will go over to E and N’s side to talk to them. E will totally ignore me. Many times when I talk to her, she will just ignore. She won’t even reply. She just totally switch off. She pushed me away.

Things start to get worst as time goes by. Then a new character appear, G. She got closer to E, A and N. They will discuss and talk behind my back. Sometimes, G even speak of things which is TOTALLY not true at all. And the best thing is, G even classify me as flirtatious. What hurt the most is, E and N kept quiet and agree to it. So after years of friendship, I thought they know me but sadly, not at all.

There is this trip they are planning to go together. They have totally no intention of asking me along at all. They asked me to go. I was so touched and at the same time, troubled. Those from path A planned a trip too. I intended to go. And when my used-to-be close friends tell me they are planning a trip too, I don’t feel like going at all.

What is the point of going when I know I will never enjoy it? What is the point of going when they actually planned together and leave me out? What is the point of going when I will earn myself more gossips by going? What is the point of going when I will just be alone all the way?

I was feeling guilty. They are my friends for years. If I were to go with just those from path A, it is super unfair. I don’t know what to do at all. Then things changed when I overheard them discussing. They wasn’t discussing about the trip. They were discussing about how I know they are going overseas? They were thinking and questioning people.

So yes, if not for the fact that they THINK I knows about their trip, they would have gone on their own. They would not have asked me along. They are asking me because they think I know and it LOOKS better when they ask me. So it will become MY fault that I am not joining them. So I decided to wait and see. I was waiting for them to prove me wrong. Prove that they asked me because they wanted to. In the end, I realise, NOT AT ALL! THEY HAVE TOTALLY NO INTENTION!

This is what the hurt me the most. I have no idea what went wrong but yes, things just went wrong. I told my cousin about it and she blogged about it too. She said something which I find it so right.

I told her, if i were her i would just forget about it. I mean seriously, if her clique really treasure her as a friend, they wun just leave her out like that. When they are really your friends, no matter what happen in the past, what misunderstanding, they will still come back to u and salvage the friendship. If all they can do is to talk behind her back and gossip about her, they are seriously being childish.

Yes! Someone told me that we should treasure every friendship we made because fate brought us together. I did my part in pulling things back together. It is E who wants to dissolve the friendship between me and her. Since she finds that there is no point in being back as friends, regardless how I try, she just won’t appreciate it.

Since she don’t appreciate it, I don’t feel the need to spend my time and effort in such person. She is becoming history and she will be history.

It’s ok! I don’t need that trip. I should thank them for letting me see their TRUE COLOUR. It saves me from the misery and dilemma. And best of all, it saves my money =)

And now, kah wai and I are planning to go GUANGZHOU together! And in june, my aunt is going shanghai. I am invited too =) Guangzhou trip is going to be so much fun than the short distant boring and no life trip with them!

KAH WAI, LET’S GO! =)