While doing work, this came to my mind.
Expectation = disappointmentSo as to say, if you don’t have expectation, everything is like a bonus. If it is all bonus, then there will be happiness and joy every time something happen.
No expectation = no disappointment
Bonus = happy
No bonus = neutral
P.S. Anything out of expectation list is bonus.
When you have expectations and it is met, you will be happy. Even if there is no bonus, there will still be happiness and joy.
However, when you have expectation and you receive bonus, your expectation will grow. When your expectation isn’t met, there will be disappointment and unhappiness.
When come to some things, it is good to not have any expectations. Without expectations, there won’t be disappointment, unhappiness or even crying.
So yes, I will learn to look at things without expectations. Because I tend to expect more and more, which will in turn make myself unhappy or sob under my blankie.
I tend to expect some things from myself. When the expectation is met, I will expect more and more, thus giving myself more and more stress. In the end, when it doesn’t go as expected, I will feel sad and break down.
Example: last year’s gb enrolment. I know it is a really long ago event. However, I was expecting problem free, no error, perfect swinging, jerking and smartness. In the end, everything went tumbling down because it went wrong. The moment the thing ended, I just sat there and cry.
Example: I studied so hard for it. I wish I can do well and score. In the end, the stress placed on myself caused me to take it with a mind block. When I got the results, it is so disappointing.
Example: this year’s gb camp. As the oldest post sec, I am scared of problems cropping out. I scared the games planned isn’t fun. I am afraid they are not cooperative. I was so worried as the days get nearer and nearer. I wanted to run away from it.
Example: one of my then partner. I thought other’s is sweet. I expect him to be like other’s. When he gave me some things, I tend to ask for more. The expectation list gets higher and higher, higher and higher. When the expectation wasn’t met, I get angry and upset. What we get in the end is quarrel, quarrel and more quarrels.
It is all expectation’s fault. If not for expectations, I think so much of my tears will be saved.
The conclusion is, it is good to not have any expectation of anyone and anything.